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ABOVE    HER    STATION 


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A 


Above  her  Station: 


Tile  Story  of  a  Young  Woman's  Life. 


BY 

MRS.    HERMAN    PHILIP, 

FROM  TUE  OBIQINAL  OF  UABIA  NATHUSIUB. 


NEW    Y  o  k  K  : 
FOLLETT,    FOSTER    AND    COMPANY. 

J.  BRADBURN  (SuccRSSOE  to  M.  Doolady), 

49  Walker  Street. 

M  DCCC  LXIII. 


Digitized  by  tine  Internet  Arcliive 

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PREFATORY. 


"  Above  her  Station  "  is  a  chapter  from  the 
actual  life  of  the  present  day :  the  incidents  do 
not  occur  in  this  country;  but  it  requires  no 
words  to  prove  that  they  are,  at  least,  as  charac- 
teristic of  English  as  of  Continental  life.  We 
have  heard  too  much  lately  of  what  is  termed 
"  Women's  questions  " — extravagance  in  dress, 
outside  display,  love  of  finery,  and  all  attendant 
consequences — to  entertain  any  doubt  on  the 
subject. 

There  is  no  attempt  to  adorn  this  Lzfe  Story. 
In  its  simplicity  and  natural  truthfulness  it  is 
thought  to  be  more  representative  of  every-day 
experience,  and  more  likely  to  prove  useful, 
than  any  narrative  of  more  tragic  details,  or 
fearful  results. 


D.  M.  P. 


2  Gayfield  Square, 
Edinburgh,  21st  Sept.  1859. 


832714 


ABOVE  HER  STATION. 


CHAPTER  I. 


"  T  'VE  made  up  my  mind:  I  will  go  to  service," 
A  said  Clara  to  her  mother.  "  A  seamstress 
leads  a  sorry  life :  one  day  passes  over  as  dull 
and  monotonous  as  another ;  one  can  never  see 
a  sensible  person,  but  must  sit  stitching,  from 
morning  till  night,  and  remain  sitting,  till  an 
old  maid  is  the  end  of  the  song." 

"  You  do  not  know  what  you  want,"  said  her 
mother.  "  Do  you  remember  what  you  said  last 
Martins'  day,  when  your  aunt  Rieka  was  giving 
you  the  advice  about  going  to  service  ?  Then 
you  raved  about  slavery,  and  turned  up  your 
nose  at  servitude,  and  I  did  not  oppose  you.    It 


8  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

would  be  a  sin  and  a  shame  to  let  an  old  woman 
live  quite  alone,  without  any  one  to  help  or  care 
for  her.  But  I  still  say,  you  do  not  know  your- 
self what  you  want.  Can  you  ever  be  better  off 
than  you  are  now  ?  You  are  your  own  mistress, 
and  can  do  whatever  you  like,  and  do  not  need 
to  be  ordered  about  by  strangers.  Oh !  when  I 
think  over  the  days  of  my  youth, " 

"  Yes !  yes !  I  know  all  about  your  youthful 
days,"  interrupted  Clara,  pertly ;  "  I  shall  not 
be  so  stupid  as  you  were :  you  ought  to  have 
held  the  young  lawyer  fast.  Aunt  Rieka  said 
yesterday,  with  so  much  unction,  that  your 
beauty  had  been  your  misfortune ;  she  ought 
more  properly  to  have  said,  your  want  of  clever- 
ness. But  I  tell  you  that  my  beauty  shall  Ijc 
more  fortunate."  Then  laughing,  she  skipped 
over  to  the  mirror,  and  most  needlessly  re-ar- 
ranged her  Sunday  attire. 

"  So  godless  as  you  have  I  never  spoken,"  re- 
plied her  mother;  "and  yet  misfortunes  have 
pursued  me,  I  do  not  know  how." 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  V 

"  That's  it  exactly,  "  again  interrupted  Clara ; 
"  you  do  not  know  how.  Just  the  not  knowing 
is  the  mistake;  I,  however,  will  know.  And 
now,  for  any  sake  in  the  world,  stop  grumbling 
— to-day  is  Sunday.  You  have  no  cause  to  mur- 
mur, and  I  do  not  see  why  I  should  listen  to  it. 
The  whole  world  stands  open  to  me,  and  the 
world  is  so  beautiful !  so  wondrous  beautiful ! 
Whether  I  go  to  service  or  not,  it  will  still  go  on. 
In  the  mean  time,  I  shall  go  to  the  old  lady,  the 
widow  of  the  general :  there  I  shall  be  well  off, 
and  have  money  in  abundance." 

"  And  I  shall  starve !  "  said  her  mother  in  a 
whining  tone. 

"  Aunt  Rieka  must  look  to  that ;  she  has  stores 
of  money  in  her  chest.  It  is  shameful  that  she 
has  left  me  so  long  to  cut  out  and  stitch,  in  order  to 
support  her  only  sister.  There  is  an  end  to  that 
now ;  I  must  look  out  for  the  future ;  my  wages 
must  be  saved ;  for,  when  one  gets  money  in  a 
large  sum,  one  can  take  better  care  of  it — single 
shillings  and  sixpences  slip  through  the  fingers. 


10  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

Aunt  Rieka,  who  has  always  got  Christian  char- 
ity in  her  mouth,  may  sometimes  extend  it  with 
her  hand ;  and  the  short  and  the  long  of  it  is, 
when  no  one  else  is  with  you,  she  is  your  nearest 
relation.  And  then,  mother,"  added  Clara, 
slyly,  "  you  will  have  this  advantage,  that,  when 
you  have  pressed  all  you  can  out  of  my  aunt,  I 
will  care  for  you  also,  so  then,  it  will  come  to 
you  from  two  sources.  Make  a  fine  lament  and 
soften  her  heart ;  but,  as  far  as  I  am  concerned, 
you  may  leave  all  that  alone,"  added  she,  laugh- 
ing. "  I  know  all  your  tricks  too  well :  they  will 
not  avail  any  more  with  me." 

"With  these  words  she  drew  a  black  silk  man- 
tilla out  of  a  drawer,  and  a  few  small  coins 
jingled  out  along  with  it.  She  tossed  a  three- 
penny-piece into  her  mother's  lap,  and  said, 
laughing,  "Here,  buy  a  cake  for  yourself,  and 
keep  Sunday  with  it;  but  mind,  send  Kleist's 
Dorothy ;  then  the  baker  will  think  it  is  for  the 
gentleman  student :  you  understand  me." 

"Little  Thousandtricks ! "  said  the  weak  moth- 


ABOVB  HER  STATION.  11 

er  to  her.  The  daughter  had  quite  satisfied  her 
— the  last  was  a  particularly  convincing  proof: 
the  clever  remarks  ahout  Aunt  Rieka  were  very 
right;  her  sister  must  give  her  more  assistance 
if  Clara  were  not  at  home  to  provide  for  the 
house;  and  she  could  easily  do  it;  she  was  a 
rich  widow,  and  had  only  an  adopted  daughter 
to  support ;  and  if  Clara  secretly  helped  her,  as 
a  good  daughter  ought,  then  she  would  indeed 
be  much  better  off. 

Mrs.  Krauter  was  the  widow  of  a  gingham 
weaver.  She  had  been  pretty  and  light-minded 
in  her  youth,  and  had,  after  many  adventures, 
married  this  man,  who,  even  then,  was  almost 
worn  out  from  drinking.  He  became  worse  from 
year  to  year,  and  died  after  having  kept  his  wife 
for  nearly  ten  years  in  continued  want  and  mis- 
ery. Fortunately  Clara  was  the  only  child  left, 
and  the  widow  had  a  rich  sister,  who,  in  her 
need,  was  a  great  help  to  her.  "Want  and  misery 
had  wrought  no  change  on  Mrs.  Krauter :  she 
was,  and  she  remained,  light-minded,  lazy,  and 


12  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

greedy ;  and  even  though  she  could  shed  abund- 
ant tears  over  her  miserable  position,  the  tears  did 
not  come  from  any  deep  feeling ;  for  an  idle  chat 
with  a  neighbor  over  a  cup  of  coffee  was  sufficient 
to  make  her  forget  all  her  woes.  Clara  was 
an  exact  copy  of  her  mother,  only  that  she  was 
more  beautiful,  and,  at  the  same  time,  much 
more  cunning,  and  therefore  still  more  given 
up  to  the  world  and  its  soul-destroying  pleas- 
ures. 

Her  sister,  Mrs.  E-ieka,  was  also  a  widow — 
even  the  very  rich  widow  of  the  late  soap-boiler, 
Bendler.  She  was  in  every  respect  the  opposite 
of  her  sister.  She  was  a  God-fearing,  industri- 
ous, worthy  woman,  and  had  long  tried  her  in- 
fluence for  good  with  mother  and  daughter,  but 
in  vain  ;  all  she  gained  was,  that  they  both  avoid- 
ed her  as  much  as  possible,  and  only  allowed  her 
to  see  their  best  side;  which  was  much  worse 
than  if  they  had  laid  bare  the  naked  deformity 
of  their  faults. 

After  Clara  had  ended  the  above-mentioned 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  13 

dialogue  with  her  mother,  she  prepared  herself 
for  her  Sunday's  pleasuring,  singing  to  herself 
all  the  while.  The  silk  mantilla  was  put  on,  and 
the  money  that  was  shaken  out  of  it  put  into 
her  pocket.  Then  out  of  a  wilderness  of  other 
things,  she  drew  forth  an  embroidered  pocket- 
handkerchief,  which  was  quickly  cast  aside,  as  a 
long  end  of  torn  lace  was  hanging  to  it;  she 
then  pulled  out  another — this  was  torn  up  the 
center. 

"These  infamous  cotton  handkerchiefs  are 
worth  nothing ! "  exclaimed  she,  much  irritated. 

"Give  it  here,  child,"  said  her  mother;  "I'll 
soon  stitch  it  up  for  you;"  and,  threading  her 
needle,  the  hole  was  quickly  drawn  together  with 
long  stitches.  In  the  mean  time,  Clara  was  seek- 
ing the  most  tolerable  pair  out  of  a  bundle  of 
light-colored  kid-gloves. 

"  "Where,  in  all  the  world,  are  the  right  hand 
gloves  ?  "  lamented  Clara,  again.  "  For  the  left 
liand  I  have  six,  seven,  and  for  the  right  hand 
only  three;  and,  stupid  that  I  am,  I  have  for- 


14  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

gotten  to  send  them  to  be  cleaned ;  they  all  look 
as  black  as  a  negro.  What  matter ! "  added 
she,  with  determination ;  "  I'll  buy  a  new  pair. 
What's  ninepence,  more  or  less  ?  With  my  sky- 
blue  muslin  dress  I  must  have  clean  gloves." 

"  Aunt  Rieka  said  last  Sunday,  that  you  ought 
rather  to  wear  wash-leather  gloves,  like  Gretta," 
remarked  her  mother.  "Only  think:  she  has 
her  confirmation-gloves  still !  " 

"  Eeally ! "  exclaimed  Clara.  "  Ko !  that  won- 
der I  must  relate  to  my  friends;  it  is  so  like 
Gretta  Bendler.  Only  to  go  to  church,  and,  at 
the  most,  to  a  very  particular  promenade  in 
the  fields,  does  she  ever  draw  on  her  gloves ;  but 
Gretta  has  a  hand  in  the  wash-leather  gloves  like 
the  paw  of  a  Polar  bear.  Well,  well,  *  Let  every 
one  look  how  he  drives :  every  one  look  where 
he  stops,'  says  Gcethe — All  are  not  gifted  alike." 

While  quoting  these  words,  she  had  tied  on 
her  sky-blue  bonnet,  laid  the  embroidered  hand- 
kerchief cleverly  over  the  dirty  gloves,  and  then 
with  a  light  adieu,  was  leaving  the  door. 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  15 

"Stop,  Clara!"  cried  her  mother;  "there  is 
your  chemise  appearing  above  the  shoulder,  and 
with  a  great  rent  in  it  besides." 

"  Only  tuck  it  down  deep  enough,"  said  Clara, 
with  indifference ;  which  being  done,  she  went 
out  on  her  way. 

Mantua-makers  are  proverbially  untidy ;  it  is, 
they  say,  because  they  are  always  busy  with  their 
needle  for  others,  and  can  never  find  time  for  the 
needful  repairs  of  their  own  wardrobe.  Clara 
was  not  only  untidy  as  a  mantua-maker,  but  still 
more  so  as  the  disorderly  daughter  of  a  very  dis- 
orderly mother,  and,  withal,  a  conceited  young 
woman,  with  ideas  far  beyond  her  station.  It 
was  of  the  utmost  importance  to  her  that  her 
dress  should  be  six  yards  wide,  and,  if  possible, 
be  long  enough  to  sweep  the  dust  off  the  streets ; 
neither  could  she  do  without  her  embroidered 
cuffs,  collar,  handkerchief,  bordered  petticoat,  or 
silk  mantilla.  If  her  chemise  were  in  rags,  that 
did  not  matter ;  indeed,  it  was  altogether  indif- 
ferent to  her  —  nobody  could  see  that.    To  have 


16  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

a  hole  in  her  shoe  or  stocking  was  more  disagree- 
able ;  even  that  did  not  much  distress  her ;  the 
defect  was  cleverly  concealed  ;  here  the  long  skirt 
came  into  use.  She  had  a  serious  dispute  lately 
with  her  cousin  Gretta:  though  the  latter  had 
not  been  very  finely  brought  up,  yet  she  had  good 
common  sense,  and  was  no  friend  to  extrava- 
gance. Seeing  the  petticoat  with  the  broad 
flounces,  she  told  Clara  it  was  quite  nonsense  to 
waste  so  much  unnecessary  finery  on  an  under 
garment.  Clara  replied,  that  every  properly- 
dressed  female  —  At  these  words,  Gretta,  taking 
her  hand,  raised  her  arm,  and  pointing  to  the 
sleeve  of  her  dress,  showed  her  that  it  was  half 
unsewed.  Clara  continued,  after  a  hasty  excuse, 
in  a  tone  of  irritation,  to  explain  to  the  rustic 
Gretta,  that  a  decently-dressed  female  could  not 
possibly  do  without  a  flounced  petticoat,  in  order 
properly  to  keep  out  her  dresses.  "  It  suits  es- 
pecially," added  she  pertly,  "for  slight  people; 
for  a  beer-barrel  figure,  however,  it  is  not  nec- 
essary."    Gretta  replied,    "You    ought    to    be 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  17 

ashamed  of  your  rudeness  ;  and  if  you  take  my 
advice,  you  will  mend  up  your  torn  garments, 
and  try  to  purchase  good  strong  useful  clothes, 
instead  of  wasting  your  hard-earned  money  on 
useless  finery ;  '  with  your  ribbons  and  your 
flounces  you  will  never  entice  a  dog  out  of  the 
oven.'  *  You  will  bitterly  repent,  some  time  or 
other,  having  been  such  an  improvident  fool. 
You  think  so  much  of  the  world ;  but  I  tell  you 
the  world  will  make  small  account  of  you :  you 
think  the  world  is  a  paradise,  but  I  tell  you 
heaven  is  elsewhere."  Ah!  thought  Clara  in 
much  alarm,  now  Gretla  will  certainly  begin 
about  her  Lord  and  Savior,  for  she  can  speak 
about  him  as  if  she  was  quite  sure  of  her 
salvation.  Gretta  was  so  much  behind  her 
time  in  education  that  she  was  ignorant  of  all 
novels;  she  knew  nothing  about  Eugene  Sue, 
George  Sand ;  had  never  read  any  of  the  rrmses, 
nor  the  Lovers'   Almanac;    she   knew  only  by 

*  A  German  proverb,  which  means  that  fine  clothes  never  attract- 
ed a  sensible  man  for  a  husband. 
2 


18  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

name  some  of  the  classics,  and  even  these  were 
despised  and  ridiculed  by  Aunt  Rieka  as  unprof- 
itable. Mother  and  daughter  read  only  in  the 
Bible,  and  a  few  devotional  books  recommended 
to  them  by  the  pastor  of  St.  Stephen's  Church. 
This  pastor  was  an  arch-pietist,*  who  preached 
Christ  only  and  Him  crucified,  and  made  heaven 
attractive  and  hell  horrible  to  the  people.  Clara, 
however,  as  soon  as  she  observed  the  drift  of  her 
cousin,  cut  short  the  discussion,  by  appearing  to 
agree  with  her.  She  did  not  wish  to  fall  out 
with  Gretta,  for  fear  of  injuring  herself  with  her 
aunt ;  for  these  two  agreed  together  completely, 
both  in  word  and  action.  Clara  proudly  thought, 
"Let  each  one  see  to  himself;  and,  what's  good 
for  one  is  not  good  for  all."  Gretta  is  quite  a 
home-bred  lassie,  therefore  it  is  very  good  for  her 
to  spin  her  own  yarn,  mend  her  clothes,  knit  her 
dark-blue  stockings,  wear  high  leather  shoes,  and 
wash-leather  gloves ;  she  makes  no  pretensions 

*  A  word  signifying  mdhodist,  and  is  applied  to  all  who  try  to 
serve  God,  or  are  seemingly  more  religious  than  their  neighbors. 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  19 

for  the  future,  and  suits  so  well  to  tlie  laboring 
classes ;  she  would  make  a  capital  tradesman's 
wife.  While  Clara,  on  the  contrary  —  she  sighed 
—  her  heart  beat  quickly:  what  shall  her  lot 
be?  At  all  events,  something  very  superior. 
Oh!  sweet  future:  gay  clothes,  smiling  faces, 
love,  pleasure,  and  delights !  Now  she  was  en- 
gaged as  a  lady's-maid  by  the  general's  lady ; 
she  would  get  into  a  refined  circle  ;  people  of  the 
highest  rank  visit  there ;  so  many  things  come 
to  pass  in  the  world,  it  may  happen  that  she  also 
would  be  so  lucky  as  to  raise  herself  by  mar- 
riage. It  may.  No;  it  must  and  shall ;  she  has 
in  her  heart  a  secret  presentiment  of  her  good 
fortune.  The  first  things  to  be  provided  by 
some  means  or  other  are,  a  silk  dress,  a  brooch, 
a  fine  shawl,  and  a  velvet  bonnet ;  then  surely 
she  cannot  fail ;  then  the  wonderful  adventures 
must  take  place !  and  with  such  splendid  pros- 
pects before  her,  shall  she  give  up  her  time  to 
patching  and  darning !  Every  one  can  see  the 
reasonableness    of    her    argument,    except    the 


20  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

home-bred  Gretta.  But  Gretta  is  not  only 
home-bred,  she  is  also  uncultivated  and  old-fash- 
ioned in  her  ideas ;  she  believes  on  her  Savior, 
and  says  that  without  him  she  could  not  exist  an 
hour.  Poor  Gretta !  Clara  does  not  need  the 
Savior,  and  she  does  not  know  in  all  the  world 
wherefore  she  should  need  him.  'Tis  true,  Aunt 
Rieka  says  He  must  redeem  us  from  our  sins; 
and  that  without  Him  we  are  going  on  in  a  wil- 
derness of  night  and  ignorance,  and  so  forth ; 
but  this  Clara  could  not  comprehend,  she  knew 
nothing  about  sin,  darkness,  or  ignorance.  She 
considered  herself  a  Christian  ;  she  had  had  the 
necessary  instruction  in  religion,  but  wherefore, 
that  she  could  not  tell,  as  hitherto  she  had  not 
found  any  opportunity  to  put  it  in  practice.  Take 
for  example  the  simplest  and  most  rational — the 
ten  commandments.  What  use  is  the  eighth  to 
her  ?  Thou  shalt  not  steal !  It  never  entered  her 
head  to  steal;  or,  thou  shalt  have  none  other 
gods  but  me !  She  was  no  heathen  who  believed 
in  Jupiter  or  Mars ;  or,  thou  shalt  honor  thy  father 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  21 

and  thy  motlier !  Ah,  in  that  she  did  more 
than  her  duty :  for  day  and  night,  so  to  speak, 
she  had  plagued  herself  in  order  to  support  her 
motlier.  No,  she  had  nothing  to  accuse  herself 
of ;  all  around  her  was  light  and  clear,  and  she 
needed  no  Savior.  She  certainly  believed  on 
God;  but  it  was  like  the  devils,  believe  and 
tremble.  She  did  not  cast  herself  upon  Him  as 
an  Omnipotent  Providence,  who  could  guide  and 
direct  her  destiny  —  that  she  did  not  desire ;  she 
wished  to  guide  and  direct  herself  alone;  she 
was  pretty,  young,  clever,  and  cultivated  —  her 
good  fortune  was  a  matter  of  course.  However, 
she  was  not  always  free  from  terrors.  l!^ot  long 
ago  the  small-pox  was  raging  in  her  street :  she 
trembled  before  the  dire  disease;  but  getting 
herself  quickly  vaccinated,  she  was  able  again  to 
enjoy  tranquillity.  Shortly  after  the  cholera 
broke  out  in  her  neighborhood,  young  and  old 
were  carried  off,  no  precautions  seemed  to  help 
here  ;  then  her  fears  recommenced  —  Thou  also 
must  die :  thou  also  mayst   be  taken  now,  that 


22  ABOVE   HER   STATION. 

she  felt,  and  to  die  was  a  dreadful  thought ! 
"What  will  then  become  of  her !  Yes !  what ! 
Aunt  Rieka  did  not  fail  at  that  time  to  speak  of 
future  punishment  and  everlasting  destruction 
reserved  for  the  ungodly.  Clara  did  not  like  to 
hear  such  words  ;  she  was  more  and  more  fright- 
ened, and  yet  could  not  help  listening.  She 
could  not  understand  how  her  aunt  and  Gretta 
were  so  calm  and  fearless,  and  how  they  could 
talk  of  death  and  another  world,  as  if  it  was  noth- 
ing dreadful;  for  when  she  awoke  in  the  night 
and  felt  herself  alone  with  her  thoughts,  such  a 
terror  came  over  her  that  she  trembled  in  every 
limb.  If  thou  were  to  die !  thought  she,  what 
then  ?  But,  God  be  praised,  the  time  of  terror 
passed  over;  life  was  again  rosy  red.  Clara 
thought  no  more  upon  death  or  of  judgment; 
and  if  her  aunt  mentioned  such  things  now,  they 
were  not  listened  to  with  attentive  ears ;  she  bent 
her  head  over  her  work,  and  occupied  her  mind 
with  the  most  absurd  fancies. 


CHAPTER  11. 

TTTllEX  Clara  left  her  mother's  little  room  to- 
T  T  day,  she  went  a  few  doors  off  to  call  for  a- 
friend.  She  tapped  at  a  low  window  on  the 
ground-floor :  Vogler,  the  letter-carrier,  was 
drinking  his  coffee,  and  reading  the  newspaper. 
On  seeing  Clara,  he  opened  the  window.  "  IJfow, 
lassies — gadding  again  ? "  said  he,  joking. 

"  Oh  yes !  this  is  Sunday,  you  know ;  and  one 
is  only  young  once,"  replied  Clara,  laughing. 

"  Yes,  you  rogue  I ''  said  Vogler,  "  and  I  wish 
I  was  young  also.'' 

"  Oh,  you  are  a  man  in  your  best  years,"  said 
Clara,  in  a  flattering  tone. 

"  I  think  so,  too,  sometimes  ;  but  when  I  look 
at  my  old  woman  over  there,  a  mist  comes  be- 
fore ni}^  eyes,"  said  Vogler,  with  a  laugh,  look- 


24  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

ing  at  his  wife,  who,  pale  and  suffering,  sat  op- 
posite to  him  in  an  arm-chair. 

"  When  I  am  dead,  then  you  can  marry 
again,"  said  the  wife  with  bitterness,  and  then 
with  difficulty  drew  her  breath. 

"  And  as  long  as  you  live,  you  must  submit  to 
be  teased,"  added  Vogler,  laughing. 

How  coarse  these  people  are,  thought  Clara  : 
how  can  a  man  treat  his  wife  so  roughly.  My 
father,  however,  acted  in  the  same  way  toward 
my  mother ;  but  with  me  it  shall  be  otherwise : 
I  will  choose  a  man  of  rank  and  refinement  for 
my  husband.  And  now,  away  out  to  the  de- 
lightful coffee-garden  ! 

Agusta  Vogler  had,  in  the  meantime,  prepar- 
ed herself  for  the  promenade,  and  now  trudged 
along  rather  heavily  b}"  the  side  of  her  graceful 
light-footed  friend.  Agusta  was  neither  good 
looking,  clever,  nor  refined;  she  had  a  plump 
red  face  like  her  father,  coarse  manners,  and  a 
most  stupidly-senseless  prattle.  She  was,  how- 
ever, just  the  friend  to  suit  Clara;  she  was  pliable 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  25 

and  obedient ;  did  not  see  through  her  intrigues 
— was  quite  satisfied  to  play  her  subordinate 
part  in  all  their  excursions  together,  and,  as  the 
spoiled  child  of  her  father,  had  her  purse  always 
well  filled. 

The  two  girls  left  the  town,  and  walked  along 
the  high  road  toward  the  coffee,  or  rather  beer- 
gardeu.  Clara  soon  remarked  that  she  was  an 
object  of  admiration  to  the  promenaders;  but 
these  were  not  the  right  lads ;  they  were  either 
tradesmen,  soldiers,  or,  at  the  most,  shop-boys — 
her  ambition  soared  beyond  all  these.  Soon 
after  a  party  of  students  came  toward  them, 
and  among  the  others  one  with  an  orange-color- 
ed cap.  This  was  the  right  one,  and  she  return- 
ed his  bow  with  marked  pleasure.  Agusta  soon 
discovered  that  the  students  had  turned,  and 
that  they  were  following  them.  Clara  never 
doubted  that  it  was  for  her  sake  that  they  had 
turned ;  and  Agusta  did  not  grudge  her  friend 
the  triumph :  she  was  contented  to  be  able  to 
share  in  the  passing  pleasure — fine  plans  for  the 


26  .  ABOVE   HER   STATION. 

future  were  strangers  to  her  brain.  After  a  few 
minutes,  they  were  met  by  a  fine-looking  young 
man,  who  also  saluted  them,  but  very  modestly 
and  respectfully.  "  Who  was  that,  now  ?"  asked 
Clara. 

"  Oh  !  that  was  Fritz  Buchstein,  who  has  just 
returned  from  his  travels ;  you  ought  to  know 
him,  for  he  lived  next  door  to  your  aunt  liieka." 

"  That  he  was  a  tradesman,  I  saw  on  his  great 
red  hands,"  laughed  Clara ;  "  otherwise  he  is  a 
very  handsome  fellow.  But  he  goes  with  the 
pietists  to  St.  Stephen's  Church ;  I  saw  him  my- 
self this  morning  coming  out  with  them  all. 

"  Now,  Aunt  Rieka,  rejoice  !  "  cried  Clara  ; 
"  that  suits  like  butter  upon  bread !  That 
young  fellow  will  marry  Gretta  :  that  is  all  cut 
and  dried.  My  poor  aunt  was  always  so  anxious 
lest  he  should  become  unfaithful  to  his  religion 
in  his  wanderings ;  and  when  he  wrote  a  letter 
full  of  unction,  old  Buchstein  would  come  over 
with  his  huge  spectacles,  and  devour  it  amidst 
sighs  and  tears  with  my  aunt  and  Gretta.    ISTow 


ABOVE   HER   STATIOX.  27 

I  grant  her  the  lad  with  all  my  heart,  though 
he  is  really  much  too  handsome  for  Gretta ;  she 
ought  to  have  had  a  short,  thick,  strong  fellow ; 
for  she  considers  beauty  more  a  misfortune  than 
a  blessing — note  well,  because  she  herself  has  but 
little  beauty  to  boast  of." 

The  girls  now  entered  the  beer-garden,  and 
soon  discovered  an  acquaintance  sitting  at  a 
table — one  of  those  modest  little  milliners  who 
are  employed  in  different  houses  to  arrange  caps 
and  bonnets  for  the  ladies ;  they  sat  down  be- 
side her.  The  students  took  a  table  quite  near 
to  them,  and  soon  became  very  loud  over  their 
Bavarian  beer,  and  began  to  nod  and  wink  over 
to  the  girls ;  but  orange-colored  cap  did  not  stop 
there;  he  made  himself  more  at  home,  and 
slipped  quite  over  to  them.  Clara  was  by  no 
means  astonished  at  it,  for  she  had  for  a  long 
time  carried  on  a  passing  flirtation  with  him  in 
the  streets,  and  was  also  aware  that  he  lived  in 
the  same  house  w^ith  her  future  mistress  —  and 
that  was  in  fact  the  secret  spring  which  moved 


28  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

her  to  go  to  service.  He  was  a  medical  student 
— even  one  of  some  standing.  He  was  rich, 
kept  a  large  Newfoundland  dog,  rode  out  on 
horseback,  or  drove  his  friends  in  a  carriage  with  a 
pair  of  horses.  He  was  the  leader  of  his  party, 
and  ever  to  be  found  where  there  was  merriment 
or  noise.  His  figure  was  large  and  rough  ;  his 
yellow  hair  hung  long  and  straight  round  his 
red  face,  which,  broad  and  flat,  had  a  particular- 
ly coarse  expression.  His  actions  and  manner 
of  speaking  were  in  accordance  with  his  appear- 
ance. He  now  sat  opposite  to  the  girls ;  his  two 
elbows  resting  upon  the  table,  blowing  the  blue 
clouds  out  of  his  cigar,  and  making  the  most 
unmannerly  fun.  Clara  did  not  think  that  rude 
— no,  because  he  was  rich,  and  belonged  to  a 
family  of  rank — she  thought  it  witty,  and  did 
not  consider  herself  too  good  to  amuse  him. 
She  became  every  moment  more  lively  and  more 
agreeable,  and  it  was  quite  plain  that  her  beauty 
had  made  an  impression  on  him,  and  that  she 
was  rising  in  his  estimation ;  for  he  removed  his 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  29 

elbows  from  the  table,  and  took  more  pains  to 
restrain  his  words  and  manners.  That  was  a 
new  triumph  for  Clara ;  and  her  two  friends 
observed  it  with  astonishment.  The  milliner 
had  long  known  the  student;  she  had  been  in 
the  habit  of  working  for  the  general's  lady,  and 
that  was  opportunity  enough  to  make  the  ac- 
quaintance of  a  student.  She  would  have  glad- 
ly laid  her  frivolous  heart  at  his  feet,  and  now 
envied  her  companion  this  valuable  conquest: 
and  Clara  grew  prouder  and  more  pleased. 

One  circumstance  alone  troubled  her.  Exactly 
opposite  to  her,  in  a  solitary  arbor,  sat  Fritz 
Buchstein.  Yes !  wonderful  to  relate,  he  also 
had  turned  and  followed  them  into  the  coffee- 
garden  :  could  that  be  for  her  sake  ?  She  re- 
called to  her  memory  the  days  of  her  childhood 
— then,  if  she  and  Gretta  went  together  into  his 
workshop,  in  order  to  get  some  toy  repaired,  he 
was  sure  to  mend  hers  the  first,  very  much  to 
Gretta's  displeasure.  It  was  evident  at  that 
time  that  he  preferred  her ;  to-day  he  was  sur- 


30  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

prised  at  her  beauty — so  she  calculated — and  had 
followed  her  here.  Though  her  vanity  was  flat- 
tered by  these  thoughts  and  recollections,  yet,  at 
this  juncture,  the  conquest  was  disagreeable  to 
her.  First,  he  was  not  worth  remai'king,  and 
her  heart  would  never  let  itself  down  to  such  a 
common-place  working-man  as  him;  and  then 
she  feared  that  when  he  had  once  followed  her 
steps,  he  might  do  so  again,  act  the  spy,  and  re- 
late all  her  doings  to  Aunt  Rieka.  She  had 
seated  herself  so  as  to  escape  as  much  as  possible 
being  seen  by  him ;  but  whenever  she  raised  her 
eyes  she  was  sure  to  meet  his  looks,  which  ex- 
pressed so  much  sympathy  and  anxiety  on  her 
account,  that  it  was  every  time  as  if  a  dagger 
had  pierced  her  heart. 

"It  is  unbearable!"  cried  she  at  last,  and 
turned  herself  passionately  to  the  other  side. 
The  student  and  her  two  friends  looked  at  her 
with  astonishment,  and  she  explained  the  reason 
of  her  annoyance  to  them. 

The  young  medico  laughed,  and  found  it  quite 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  31 

natural  in  the  lad  to  wisli  to  look  into  the  face  of 
a  pretty  girl;  and  placed  his  burly  figure  in 
such  a  manner  before  Clara,  that  she  was  at 
once  relieved  of  the  disagreeable  looks.  Shortly 
after,  Agusta  remarked  that  Fritz  was  gone. 
Xow  Clara  felt  herself  more  at  liberty,  and  her 
enjoyment  was  proportionably  high.  The  music 
enticed,  and  all  went  into  the  dancing-saloon  in 
order  to  heat  and  intoxicate  themselves  still 
more  in  the  mazy  whirl  of  the  waltz  or  polka. 

When  Fritz  Buchstein  met  the  prett}'  girl  on 
the  road,  he  at  once  recognized  in  her  the  little 
Clara  Krauter;  and  the  finest  and  sweetest  of 
his  youthful  recollections  passed  through  his 
mind.  Even  now  he  remembered,  with  inward 
emotion,  how  she  used  to  come  into  his  workshop 
with  some  little  toy  to  be  mended,  and  how  he, 
a  lad  of  eighteen,  felt  such  strange  emotions  in 
his  heart  when  he  looked  into  the  dark-blue  eyes 
of  the  little  maiden  of  twelve.  lie  would  not 
acknowledge  it  to  himself,  but  it  was  his  first 
youthful  love.    Iler  ft\ce  was  ever  present  with 


32  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

liim — it  followed  him  in  all  his  wanderings — he 
remembered  her  in  his  morning  and  evening  de- 
votions :  he  prayed  God  to  keep  his  flow'ret 
chaste  and  beautiful,  and  preserve  her  from  th6 
defilement  of  the  world.  Whether  this  flower 
was  to  bloom  for  him  or  not — that  remained  in 
the  hand  of  God.  His  heart  was  whole  ;  he  had 
not  read  any  romances,  and  did  not  hang  with  a 
sickly  longing  upon  his  love ;  fresh  and  lively  he 
traveled  through  the  beautiful  world  —  saw 
mountains  and  valleys,  rivers  and  plains — many 
a  great  town,  and  many  a  pleasant  village — 
grand  churches,  castles,  and  fortresses  —  tine 
paintings,  and  other  works  of  art — and  examin- 
ed all  with  interest  and  delight.  Those  were 
glorious,  pleasant  wanderings,  which  were  not 
saddened  by  sickness  or  a  bad  conscience,  or  by 
poverty  and  want.  He  had  made  a  vow  never 
to  drink  a  drop  of  spirits,  and,  through  God's 
grace,  he  had  been  enabled  to  keep  it.  That 
preserved  him  from  many  a  misery,  many  an 
evil  of  the  wanderer's  life.    He  was  never  led 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  33 

into  wild  clubs  or  brawls,  neither  did  he  seek 
his  friends  among  such  companions ;  so,  in  body 
and  soul,  he  remained  healthy,  and  always  had 
money  in  his  purse ;  for,  being  a  good  steady 
workman,  he  always  found  good  masters,  and 
not  unfrequently  found  friends  who  were  travel- 
ing the  same  narrow  way  with  himself,  who  with 
him  also  loved  their  Lord  and  Savior.  He  sel- 
dom left  a  town  that  he  did  not  look  back  upon 
with  regret,  because  there  he  had  won  friends 
for  his  heart  and  his  intercessions :  full  well  he 
knew  the  value  of  prayer,  both  for  himself  and 
others.  And  if  he  came  to  people  who  did  not 
understand  him — who  laughed  at  him,  and  tried 
to  lead  him  aside  from  the  right  way,  those  days 
were  also  of  use  to  him — days  of  distress  and 
trial — in  which  he  felt  more  clearly  the  nearness 
of  his  Comforter,  His  love,  and  His  grace.  So 
his  soul  grew  stronger,  his  experience  richer,  and 
his  hands  more  skillful. 
And  how  was  it  with  his  heart  ?     That  would 

sometimes  dare  to  move.    When  on  a  fine  sum- 
3 


34  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

mer  eve  he  sat  on  some  •vroodland  height,  the 
landscape  gilded  by  the  sinking  sun ;  fragrance 
diffusing  itself  over  town  and  village ;  the  evening 
breeze  gently  fanning  the  branches  and  flowers 
around  him,  the  shepherd  slowly  preceding  his 
flock  across  the  pasture  in  the  distance,  and  the 
birds  high  up  in  the  light-blue  sky — then  he 
would  feel  such  a  wonderful  longing:  and 
through  the  golden  rays  of  evening — the  fra- 
grance, the  beauty,  and  the  peace  of  nature, 
those  dark-blue  eyes  of  the  little  maid  would 
shine  upon  him  from  his  home  ! 

Thus  had  he  sat,  only  a  short  time  before,  on 
an  eminence  in  the  Theuringen  Forest.  ]^ow  he 
was  so  near  to  his  home — now  the  youth  had 
grown  into  a  man,  and  could  think  of  establish- 
ing himself.  His  father  was  old,  and  since  the 
last  winter,  had  been  afflicted  with  weakness  of 
the  chest,  which  prevented  him  getting  his 
orders  executed  as  formerly :  every  thing  went 
wrong,  and  Fritz  was  obliged  to  obey  the  earnest 
entreaties  of  his  father  and  return  home.     He 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  35 

was  glad  to  do  so ;  for  he  was  now  twenty-five 
years  old ;  and  after  the  long  wandering  home- 
less life  he  had  led,  the  idea  of  home  was  very 
sweet.  He  was  now  to  be  master,  and  alone  take 
the  direction  of  the  house,  the  land,  and  the  cus- 
tomers. To  all  this  a  house-wife  was  absolutely 
necessary,  and  that  thought  chiefly  occupied  his 
mind;  and  whenever  he  pictured  this  wife  to 
himself,  she  was  slight,  with  light-brown  hair, 
and  dark-blue  eyes. 

"With  such  sweet  expectations  he  quitted  the 
Forest  of  Theuringen,  and  arrived  a  few  days 
later  at  the  gates  of  his  native  city.  It  was  late 
on  Saturday  evening :  his  father  sat  weak  and 
ill  in  his  arm-chair,  but  tears  of  thankfulness 
and  joy  glistened  in  his  eyes,  as  his  son,  after 
such  a  long  absence,  entered  the  house;  and 
Fritz  had  the  same  evening  to  read  the  book  of 
Job,  and  the  136th  Psalm  to  him. 

The  old  father  was  very  conversible,  notwith- 
standing his  delicacy  of  chest;  and  could  not 
avoid    speaking  to   his   son,   of  his  and   Mrs. 


3d  above  her  station. 

Bendler's  heart's  desire,  namely,  that  Gretta 
should  become  Mrs.  Fritz.  Mrs.  Bendler  had 
completely  adopted  Gretta,  and,  excepting  a  few 
legacies,  she  was  to  be  her  sole  heiress. 

Fritz  felt  very  much  distressed  when  he  heard 
this ;  and  if  he  had  very  little  courage  before  to 
ask  after  Clara  Krauter,  he  had  none  at  all  now. 

On  Sunday,  he  was  to  call  and  renew  his  ac- 
quaintance with  his  neighbor,  Mrs.  Bendler; 
but  he  begged  his  father  not  to  say  a  word  about 
the  matter  of  marriage,  as  he  did  not  know,  as 
yet,  how  he  would  please  Gretta. 

His  father  smiled,  thought  there  was  not  much 
danger  of  her  not  liking  him,  as  she  had  wept 
so  profusely  when  his  letters  were  read  to  her. 

Fritz  did  not  smile,  his  heart  was  heavy ;  for 
though  Gretta  was  a  good  girl,  she  had  not  blue- 
eyes  ;  she  was  not  the  love  of  his  youth ;  her  im- 
age had  not  been  ever  present  with  him  in  all  his 
wanderings. 

Wlien  coming  out  of  church  on  Sunday  morn- 
ing, he  recognized  Mrs.  Bendler,  accompained  by 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  87 

a  young  girl ;  but  he  could  not  resolve  then  to 
speak  to  them,  so  slipped  aside  with  the  crowd : 
he  had  only  promised  his  father,  toward  evening, 
to  call  on  them. 

In  the  afternoon,  however,  his  uneasiness  and 
anxiety  drove  him  past  Clara's  house.  He  could 
not  discover  her;  only  her  mother  sat  at  the  win- 
dow ;  and,  fortunately,  she  did  not  look  out,  or 
she  would  have  read  his  thoughts  in  his  counte- 
nance. He  walked  out  of  the  city-gate,  and 
after  having  gone  a  little  way  along  the  road, 
turned  back  again.  Then,  in  reality,  the  long- 
desired  one  appeared  before  him!  It  was  still 
the  same  youthful  face,  her  figure  only  had 
sprung  up,  and  become  developed  into  woman- 
hood. 

He  bowed  to  her :  his  heart  beat  for  joy ;  but 
it  was  only  for  a  moment.  He  saw  the  band 
of  students  behind  her — he  heard  their  coarse 
wit  —  saw  them  following  the  girls.  It  would 
never  have  entered  his  head  to  turn  and  follow 
them ;  but  rage  and  anxiety  drove  him  to  it.    In 


38  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

case  of  need  lie  would  protect  the  girls,  never 
dreaming  that  by  the  following  of  the  students, 
they  were  more  pleased  than  frightened.  How- 
ever, he  was  soon  convinced  of  his  error,  as  he 
sat  opposite  to  the  girls,  and  observed  their 
light-minded  behavior,  in  which  Clara  played 
the  principal  part,  till  at  length  she  drove  him 
away  by  her  scornful  and  angry  looks. 

With  what  conflicting  feelings  he  now  return- 
ed to  his  home!  What  had  just  occurred,  had 
too  suddenly  and  too  violently  overturned  the 
plans  of  his  heart.  The  joyful  anticipations  of 
home,  of  being  master  of  house  and  property, 
were  all  crushed ;  he  would  have  chosen  rather 
to  take  again  his  pilgrim's  staff  in  his  hand,  and 
wander  alone  in  the  wide  world.  In  this 
humor  he  could  not  possibly  visit  Mrs.  Bendler 
— he  could  not  even  present  himself  to  his  father; 
but  softly  passing  the  servant  girl,  who  was  sit- 
ting in  Sunday  state  on  the  door-step,  he  went 
into  the  garden,  and  sat  down  in  the  vine  arbor 
which  stood  next    the  barn.      The   neighbor's 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  39 

garden,  which  was  only  separated  by  a  hedge, 
was  empty.  That  just  suited  him:  he  could  fol- 
low the  train  of  his  own  sad  thoughts  without 
interruption. 

How  different  the  world  appeared  to  him  from 
yesterday !  The  roses  and  violets  were  then  so 
cordial  and  confidential :  he  thought  when  once 
a  woman's  hand  is  here  to  train  and  prune,  then 
you  will  all  flourish  better.  The  somber  vine 
arbor  did  not  appear  to  him  gloomy  at  all ;  for 
he  thought,  soon  I  will  not  sit  quite  alone  in 
here.  To-day  it  was  all  an  empty  desert ;  and 
he  did  not  care  to  have  it  otherwise.  He  looked 
up  to  heaven  through  the  dark  vine  branches. 
"  Oh  heavenly  Father !  I  know  that  better  days 
will  come ;  but  now  the  cross  seems  heavy  to  my 
heart ;  and  now,  0  Lord  !  I  pray  Thee,  over  and 
over  again,  deliver  her  from  evil ;  even  though  I 
must  resign  her  for  myself.  Do  Thou,  0  Lord ! 
never  leave  her  nor  forsake  her."  Give  up ! 
Yes;  that  is  indeed  hard;  and  that  it  was  so 
hard,  was. also  a  comfort  to  him;  for  if  to  his 


40  ABOVE   HER   STATION. 

weak,  human  heart  it  was  so  hard,  he  knew  well 
that  it  would  be  still  harder  to  his  Savior  above 
to  give  up  a  beloved  soul;  and  the  more  he 
gazed  up  into  the  blue  sky,  the  stronger  his 
faith  became,  and  his  grief  was  relieved  by  tears. 

Then  suddenly  he  heard  a  voice  singing  in  his 
neighbor's  garden ;  clear  and  sweet,  and  yet  soft 
and  sad  were  the  tones ;  as  were  also  the  words 
of  the  hymn  which  came  quite  distinctly  to  his 
ear. 

Fritz  peeped  through  the  vine  leaves,  and  saw 
Gretta  sitting  upon  the  crooked  old  pear-tree. 
It  seemed  as  if  he  had  only  dreamed  of  travel- 
ing and  being  away ;  as  if  he  was  again  eigh- 
teen years  old,  and  Gretta  a  child.  At  that 
time,  nearly  the  whole  summer  long,  the  old 
pear-tree  was  her  favorite  seat.  In  the  after- 
noons she  was  in  the  habit  of  taking  her  stock- 
ing up  there ;  and  every  time  she  had  knitted  a 
round,  she  called  out  to  old  Benjamin.  Benja- 
min was  a  cobbler,  who  had  lived  for  nearly  thirty 
years  in   the   little  dwelling    over    Bachstein's 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  41 

worksliop.  He  was  the  friend  of  all  the  children 
in  the  neighborhood,  and  of  Gretta  in  particu- 
lar; for  her  no  trouble  was  too  great;  and  every 
time  she  called  out  "  one  round  more,"  he  chalk- 
ed a  white  stroke  upon  a  black  board,  and  al- 
ways counted  how  many  were  wanting  still  to 
make  up  the  number  of  her  task ;  and  when  it 
was  accomplished  he  called  out,  "  Now  Gretta,  be 
quick  !  "  She  would  then  draw  up,  by  means  of 
a  cord,  a  little  basket  containing  her  evening 
meal;  for  she  fancied  she  could  knit  and  eat 
better  up  in  the  pear-tree  than  on  the  seat  un- 
derneath. Benjamin  also  laid  by  his  lasts  for 
a  season — looked  out  of  the  window  ;  his  star- 
ling cried  out,  "  Gretta,  so  right !  so  right !"  and 
the  bulfinch  caroled  forth,  "  Bless  the  Lord,  O 
my  soul ! "  Then  when  Gretta's  childish  voice 
chimed  in,  Benjamin  said,  "  Gretta,  so  right ; " 
and  the  starling  echoed,  "  Gretta,  so  right ! " 

Even  now  Benjamin's  white  head  was  at  the 
window ;  the  starling,  however,  called  out  "  Miss 


42  ABOVE   HER  STATIOX. 

Gretta ;"  and  this  reminded  Fritz  that  the  times 
were  indeed  changed. 

"Ah,  Gretta!"  said  Benjamin,  "your  singing 
to-day  makes  one's  heart  sad ;  what  is  the  mat- 
ter with  you?" 

"  If  I  had  known  that  you  were  at  home,  I 
would  not  have  sung,"  said  Gretta.  "  I  thought 
I  was  here  quite  alone  in  the  world.  But  do 
you  come  over  now,  and  bring  the  large  picture- 
Bible  with  you,  for  I  do  not  know  rightly  what  to 
begin ;  all  alone  the  long  Sunday  afternoon." 

Gretta  had  to  return  home  alone  from  after- 
noon service,  because  her  mother  wished  to  call 
upon  some  sick  people.  She  had  hoped,  indeed, 
to  have  been  taken  to  see  soma  relations,  garden- 
ers, who  lived  a  little  outside  the  town,  therefore, 
being  obliged  to  go  home  did  not  exactly  suit 
her  ;  in  the  house  she  felt  lonely,  she  took  differ- 
ent things  in  hand  —  a  book  —  a  bit  of  work, — 
nothing  came  right.  Old  Time  would  not  move 
on ;  she  could  not  understand  why  she  felt  so  im- 
patient.     Was  it  because  Fritz   Buchstein  had 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  43 

promised  to  look  in  on  them  in  the  evening  ? 
She  blushed  at  the  very  thought.  But  why 
should  she  not  be  glad  to  see  him  again  ?  She 
was  at  least  curious  to  find  out  what  change  ab- 
sence had  made  on  him,  and  if  he  looked  at  all 
like  the  man,  that  from  his  letters  she  judged 
him  to  be.  In  order  to  pass  the  time  she  went 
into  the  garden.  All  was  still  in  Buchstein's,  and 
quite  undisturbed ;  she  paced  up  and  down  the 
straight  gooseberry  walk.  As  a  child,  she  had 
played  at  sheep  and  wolf  with  Louisa  Buchstein, 
and  other  friends,  imder  the  bushes.  Louisa  was 
dead,  and  the  other  friends  all  scattered,  and  she 
had  to  walk  here  all  alone  the  blessed  Sunday  af- 
ternoon. She  had  often  sat  and  enjoyed  herself 
on  the  seat  under  the  old  pear-tree,  but  oftener 
she  preferred  getting  up  into  the  tree.  Then  she 
could  see  a  little  farther  out  into  the  world  :  into 
the  neighbors'  gardens,  a  cooper  in  the  court,  old 
Benjamin  in  his  room.  On  the  other  side,  how- 
ever, the  garden  was  surrounded  by  a  high  wall, 
but  yet  she  could  see  the  flowers  of  the  elder-tree. 


44,  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

and  also  the  yellow  blossoms  of  the  laburnum, 
and  sometimes  the  white  lace  cap  of  the  town- 
councilor's  wife,  and  the  gay  bonnets  of  the 
young  ladies.  Gretta  could  not  resist  it;  she 
climbed  the  tree.  But  to-day  there  was  nothing 
to  be  seen ;  dry  seeds  hung  upon  the  laburnum, 
the  elder-tree  had  a  somber  and  gloomy  appear- 
ance, neither  cap  nor  bonnets  were  there.  The 
lady  was  at  a  bathing-place,  and  her  daughters 
were  long  since  married ;  neither  was  there  any 
stir  in  the  other  neighbors'  gardens,  and  even 
Benjamin  was  not  at  his  window.  Gretta  felt 
more  and  more  lonely,  and  gazed  at  the  sky 
with  a  more  heart-felt  desire.  So  it  is.  When 
the  Lord  makes  the  world  more  solitary  and 
empty  to  us,  then  He  draws  us  with  stronger 
cords  toward  heaven.  The  sky  was  clear,  and 
the  evening  clouds  gilded  by  the  setting  sun : 
Gretta  saw  how  they  were  gliding  over  the  dark 
roofs,  and  whilst  moving,  how  they  changed 
their  forms  and  colors.  Kow  she  saw  a  swan, 
then  a  rose,  a  castle,  sometimes  the  wings  of  an 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  45 

angel,  and  sometimes  an  angel's  face.  She 
thought  of  her  parents,  her  little  brother,  of 
whom  she  had  a  faint  recollection  from  early 
childhood  ;  and  with  the  most  longing  desire  to 
be  with  them,  she  sung  the  verses  which  had 
enticed  Benjamin  to  the  window. 

Benjamin  came  down  with  the  great  picture- 
Bible,  swung  himself  under  the  shed  and  the  old 
elder-tree,  and  quite  nimbly  over  the  hedge,  and 
was  in  Bendler's  garden.  At  that  moment  Fritz 
came  forward  from  the  arbor ;  for  he  would  not 
knowingly  play  the  listener.  Gretta  started ;  for 
he  must  have  seen  her  up  in  the  tree,  and 
had  certainly  heard  her  singing:  he,  however, 
stretched  out  his  hand  in  a  friendly  manner,  over 
the  hedge,  and  shook  hands  with  her,  without 
any  observation.  There,  now,  he  had  before  him 
the  same  old  Gretta,  with  flaxen  hair,  freckled 
face,  round  brown  eyes,  and  round  red  mouth. 
She  was  neither  tall  nor  short ;  neither  slight  nor 
thick ;  but  stood  before  him,  in  her  brown  cot- 
ton dress  and  white  collar — a  very  neat-looking 


46  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

girl.  He  spoke  a  few  confused  words  of  wel- 
come to  her.  She  did  not  observe  his  confusion 
— she  hardly  heard  what  he  said  —  so  violently 
did  her  heart  beat ;  but  the  world  no  longer  ap- 
peared empty  and  lonely  to  her ;  and,  when  he 
asked  permission  to  come  over  to  her  premises, 
she  nodded  a  friendly  "  Yes ! " 

"  But  not  by  the  same  way  that  I  came  over," 
said  Benjamin,  laughing;  "one  must  not  teach 
young  fellows  such  tricks.  You  must  go  round 
respectfully  to  the  hall-door,  as  you  ought." 

Fritz  did  not  even  think  of  doing  so ;  for 
though  he  was  quite  smart  in  the  black-silk  vest 
and  Sunday  coat,  yet  he  had  neither  hat  nor 
gloves ;  and,  on  the  first  visit,  he  must  use  a  little 
ceremony.  He,  however,  did  not  come  over  so 
soon  as  Gretta  had  hoped :  she  had  looked 
through  the  greater  part  of  the  large  picture- 
Bible  with  Benjamin,  when  at  length  she  heard 
his  knock  at  the  door ;  and,  going  to  open  it,  she 
found  her  mother  standing  there  also.  This  was 
a  great  relief  to  both  the  young  folks ;  for  Gretta 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  47 

felt  uneasy  about  acting  the  hostess  with  Fritz, 
and  he  had  no  desire,  with  his  heavy  heart,  to 
be  alone  with  Gretta.  Mrs.  Bendler  took  upon 
herself  the  responsibility  of  sustaining  the  con- 
versation ;  but,  as  she  had  many  questions  to  ask, 
Fritz  was  obliged  to  talk,  whether  he  would  or 
not.  That  the  task  was  hard  for  him,  was  not 
perceived  by  Mrs.  Bendler.  Gretta,  however, 
quickly  observed  the  look  of  deep  melancholy 
that,  quite  unconsciously,  at  times  passed  over 
his  face.  What  can  be  the  matter  with  him? 
thought  she :  can  he  be  sorry  to  be  at  home 
again?  can  any  thing  be  alluring  him  from  home? 
Oh,  I  do  hope  he  is  not  unhappy !  But  how 
could  that  possibly  be  the  case,  when  his  last  let- 
ter was  so  joyful,  so  hopeful  ? 

Late  in  the  evening,  when  alone  in  her  little 
chamber,  she  looked  up  to  the  starry  heaven  with 
folded  hands,  Fritz's  melancholy  face  mixed  itself 
in  her  evening  prayer,  and  she  recommended  it 
to  Him  who  aflfiicts  not  willingly  the  sons  of  men, 
and  who  alone  can  comfort  the  sad  heart. 


CHAPTER  III. 

MRS.    YON    TRAUTSTEIN,    the    general's 
widow,   sat   in   deep   conversation   with   a 
younger  lady. 

"  I  assure  you,"  said  the  latter,  "  the  girl  will 
suit  you  exactly,  and  I  can  conscientiously  recom- 
mend her  to  you.  For  the  last  two  years  she 
has  sewed  every  thing  for  my  children,  and  she  is 
quite  the  pet  of  the  house  :  always  friendly  and 
obliging,  very  clever  and  industrious,  and  belongs 
to  a  very  respectable  family.  Her  aunt  is  Mrs. 
Bendler,  who  is  at  the  head  of  the  '  Society  for 
Sick  Poor  Women :'  a  person  most  highly  re- 
spected. It  was  she  who  brought  up  Clara,  and 
had  her  taught  dressmaking,  for  Clara's  mother 
is  a  sickly  body." 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  49 

"  What  Las  put  it  into  her  head  to  go  to  ser- 
vice ? "  asked  the  old  lady. 

"  In  order  to  be  tor  sometime  amongst  stran- 
gers," was  the  answer;  "and  I  think  it  very 
sensible  of  her.  While  she  is  at  home  her 
mother  takes  every  penny  out  of  her  purse.  She 
told  me  with  tears  lately,  that  she  was  very  ill 
provided  with  under-clothing,  as  the  little  money 
she  could  earn  was  barely  sufficient  for  their 
daily  wants,  and  a  few  outside  necessaries,  in 
the  way  of  dress,  without  which  no  one  would 
let  her  into  their  houses  to  sew." 

"  That  is  exactly  what  I  fear,"  replied  the 
general's  lady.  "  The  mother  must  be  a  dis- 
orderly person,  who  swallows  up  all  her  daugh- 
ter's earnings  in  eating  and  drinking:  the 
daughter  is  too  young,  and,  very  probably,  too 
pretty  for  me."     The  younger  lady  laughed. 

"  That  is  just  the  reason  why  I  wished  you  to 
have  her,  because  she  is  so  very  attractive. 
Whenever  you  would  be  suftering,  she  would  be 
the  most  agreeable  companion  ;  she  can  read  to 


50  ALOVE   HER  STATION. 

you,  for  she  speaks  very  prettily ;  but,  my  dear 
lady,  before  making  any  decision,  you  must  first 
see  her." 

The  speaker  was  the  young  wife  of  Lieutenant 
von  Reisen,  a  lady  who  had  taken  Clara  particu- 
larly under  her  protection.  She  was  anxious  to 
gratify  her  protegee  by  obtaining  the  situation 
for  her ;  and  for  that  reason  she  exerted  herself 
to  the  utmost  to  excite  an  interest  in  the  old 
lady  for  Clara  before  she  saw  her.  A  short  time 
after,  Clara  w^as  ushered  in.  Very  neatly  dress- 
ed, but,  at  the  same  time  modest  and  unassum- 
ing, she  stood  before  the  ladies.  The  general's 
widow  was  really  astonished  at  the  beauty  of 
the  girl ;  but  the  charm  of  her  words  and  man- 
ner silenced  every  doubt,  and  she  was  engaged 
at  once  at  a  salary  of  six  pounds  a-year,  with  a 
pound  at  Christmas,  besides  other  presents.  It 
seemed  quite  a  fortune  to  Clara.  But  that  was 
not  all — the  luxury  and  grandeur  displayed  in 
the  dwelling  of  Madame  von  Trautstein,  so  daz- 
zled and  delighted  her  that  she  actually,  for  the 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  51 

moment,  forgot  all  her  plans  about  the  medical 
student :  such  spacious  rooms,  splendid  carpets, 
fine  furniture,  equipage,  and  number  of  servants, 
were  seldom  found  in  one  establishment.  In 
this  house  she  was  engaged  as  lady's-maid,  that 
is  to  say,  under  the  title  of  lady's-maid;  for, 
properly  speaking,  she  said  to  herself,  I  shall  be 
the  lady's  companion,  as  I  am  to  read  to  her  in 
the  evenings,  and  when  there  are  no  visitors,  to 
pour  out  tea :  and  she  did  not  fail  to  represent 
her  new  situation  as  such  to  her  acquaintances. 
When  she  went  to  inform  her  aunt  Rieka,  the 
latter  received  her  very  seriously.  "  You  have 
now  fulfilled  my  wishes  by  going  to  service :  may 
the  Lord  give  you  strength  and  grace  for  all  the 
duties  of  your  new  calling,  which  you  must  by 
no  means  consider  a  light  one."  Clara,  who  was 
full  of  hope,  and  in  a  very  good  humor,  prom- 
ised every  thing  possible,  and  her  aunt  was  too 
srood-natured  to  doubt  her  intentions  or  her 
promises.  To  the  question,  as  to  the  state  of 
her  under-garments,  she  had  a  suitable  answer 


52  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

ready.  She  could  not  possibly  have  told  the 
truth :  indeed,  for  a  long  time,  her  great  fear  had 
been  lest  her  aunt  should  herself  examine  her 
linen,  and  discover  its  deficiency. 

"  I  am  already  provided  with  the  most  neces- 
sary articles,"  she  said,  and  rejoiced  in  the  idea 
of  procuring  herself  a  fine  stock  of  linen  from 
the  good  wages  she  was  to  get.  "  My  mother 
must  learn  to  economize,"  she  added;  "you 
know  that  when  I  had  money,  as  a  daughter,  I 
could  not  refuse  her ;  but  when  I  have  not  got 
any,  I  cannot  give  any ;  and  when  I  receive  my 
wages,  if  I  give  her  a  portion,  I  can,  with  the 
remainder,  replenish  my  stock  of  linen."  That 
sounded  sensible,  and  the  aunt  was  quite  con- 
tented. Gretta  went  to  her  drawers,  and  brought 
out  six  linen  pocket-handkerchiefs,  and  two  pairs 
of  stockings :  "  These  I  may  ofler  to  you,"  said 
she,  "  for  you  have  had  no  time  for  knitting,  and 
the  handkerchiefs  were  hemmed  and  marked  for 
you.    When  you  come  to  see  us,  be  sure  to  take 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  63 

one  of  the  linen  ones,"  said  she  laughing,  "  for 
you  know  we  cannot  bear  those  of  cotton." 

Clara  was  quite  aftected  by  this  goodness. 
"  You  really  mean  well  with  me,"  said  she,  affec- 
tionately. 

"That  you  may  always  believe,"  answered 
Gretta,  warmly :  and  the  two  cousins  had  at  that 
moment  very  kindly  feelings  toward  each  other. 

Clara  entered  her  new  situation  on  St.  Mi- 
chael's day.  In  her  chamber  she  found  a  ward- 
robe and  a  chest  of  drawers,  wherein  she  distrib- 
uted her  scanty  supply  of  clothes  as  widely  as 
possible,  in  order  to  make  the  greatest  display. 
One  or  two  muslin,  and  a  few  thin  woolen 
dresses,  mantilla,  mantillettes,  and  the  flounced 
petticoat,  in  the  wardrobe :  in  the  drawers,  be- 
side the  few  chemises,  etc.,  ribbons,  boas,  collars, 
gloves,  pocket-handkerchiefs :  the  two  pairs  of 
stockings  from  Gretta,  formed  the  solid  parts  of 
this  light  society.  Then  she  placed  a  few  flower- 
pots in  the  window,  hung  a  porcelain  picture  on 
one   of  the  panes,   another  picture   under  the 


54  ABOVE    HER   STATION. 

looking-glass,  and  a  vase  of  flowers  upon  the 
drawers.  The  butler  had  looked  into  her  room 
en  passantj  and  remarked  to  the  cook,  that  the 
young  girl  was  evidently  well-reared  and  well- 
educated,  for  she  displayed  much  taste  in  the 
arrangement  of  her  room;  "but  it  is  a  pity," 
added  he,  "  that  the  window  of  the  next  house 
is  so  near  hers,  that  the  medical  student  can  see 
exactly  into  her  apartment."  The  cook,  how- 
ever, took  Clara's  part:  her  kitchen  was  just 
opposite,  on  the  other  side  of  the  house,  and  she 
had  observed  that  Clara  had  let  down  her  blind 
when  the  student  came  over  to  his  window  with 
his  long  pipe.  Clara  had  seen  the  cook  looking 
over,  and  thought,  "  iN'ow,  I  must  be  cautious,  in 
order  to  gain  respect :  and  a  little  coyness  to- 
ward the  student  cannot  do  me  any  harm." 

These  were  now  pleasant  days  for  Clara.  The 
house  of  Madame  von  Trautstein  became  very 
lively,  as  her  married  daughter  with  her  children 
came  on  a  visit  of  four  weeks ;  and  this  gave 
opportunity  for  many  a  little  socialuess.     Beside 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  55 

that,  Clara  was  often  sent  to  the  grand  shops  in 
the  town  to  make  purchases,  and  this  was  partic- 
ularly agreeable  to  her.  She  was  soon  on  a 
friendly  footing  with  the  clerks,  and  enriched 
herself  with  many  a  piece  of  finery.  'Tis  true, 
the  few  pence  she  brought  into  service  with  her 
were  soon  spent ;  but  the  sum  was  so  small  it 
was  not  worth  saving.  In  addition  to  all  this, 
the  game  with  the  student  was  pushed  on  stead- 
ily and  cleverly.  Her  mistress's  visitors  were 
chiefly  ladies ;  from  these  she  could  not  hope  to 
gain  any  thing  toward  her  future  establishment. 
She  soon  observed  that  the  student  was  in  full 
glow,  and  a  very  humble  lover — if  she  kept  her 
blind  down  for  a  single  day,  her  cars  were  re- 
galed with  the  most  melancholy  songs — if  she 
acted  prudishly  toward  him,  his  great  rough  face 
assumed  quite  a  soft,  tender  expression.  She 
teased  him  expressly — for  she  was  well  aware, 
that  until  his  passions  were  fully  excited,  he 
would  never  think  seriously  of  her;  and  her 
whole  ambition  was  to  make  a  great  marriage. 


56  ABOVE   HER   STATION. 

She  forgot  to  calculate  that  she  herself  would  in 
time  warm  to  him  ;  and  a  heart  in  love  is  a  weak 
heart.  The  student,  on  his  side,  was  not  so  in- 
experienced as  not  to  know  and  observe  all  this. 
It  was  now  Christmas.  Madame  von  Traut- 
stein's  visitors  had  all  left :  the  gay  noisy  days 
were  followed  by  peaceful  ones ;  but  Clara  con- 
tinued equally  attentive  and  cheerful ;  and  the 
general's  widow  assured  her  friends  that  she  had 
quite  a  treasure  of  a  ladj^'s-maid ;  which  was 
readily  believed :  for  Clara  was  attentive  and 
good-natured  to  every  one ;  only  for  some  time 
past  she  had  shown  at  times  an  absence  of  man- 
ner, and  her  countenance  had  a  less  ingenious 
expression.  However,  the  old  lady  comforted 
herself  by  imputing  her  fears  to  her  over-anxiety 
about  love  affairs,  and  did  not  let  Clara  see  that 
she  was  observing  her ;  and  at  Christmas  she 
made  her  some  very  valuable  presents,  which 
were  most  acceptable ;  for  she  had  many  wants. 
She  saw  many  things  with  the  grand  ladies  that 
pleased  her  fancy,  and  that  she  could  not  think 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  57 

of  denying  to  herself.  She  discovered,  with  as- 
tonishment, that  when  she  had  paid  all  her  debts 
from  her  wages  and  her  Christmas-box,  very 
little  remained  for  her  mother,  or  the  fine  stock 
of  under-clothing  she  proposed  buying  for  her- 
self; but  she  was  soon  consoled.  "  Every  begin- 
ning is  difiicult,"  thought  she ;  "  the  linen  must 
be  bought  at  some  other  time :"  she  had,  however, 
procured  the  much-desired  shawl,  the  brooch, 
and  the  velvet  bonnet. 

But  notwithstanding  all  this,  she  was  not  to 
pass  into  the  new  year  quite  free  from  care.  On 
Sylvester  evening,  as  she  was  returning  in  the  twi- 
light, after  having  been  on  an  errand  some- 
where, she  saw  a  person  waiting  at  the  hall  door ; 
and  soon  recognized  the  medical  student.  She 
had  often  talked  with  him  here,  but  latterly  he 
could  never  meet  her  alone ;  and  even  now  steps 
were  heard  upon  the  stairs.  He  came  hastily  to- 
ward her,  pressed  a  letter  into  her  hand,  then  ran 
quickly  up  stairs  before. 

Clara  could  hardly  light  her  lamp  fast  enough. 


58  ABOVE   HER   STATION. 

in  order  to  read  this  precious  document — a  docu- 
ment written,  like  a  thousand  others,  in  order  to 
deceive  foohsh  girls,  and  make  them  still  more 
foolish.  I^othing  in  the  world  is  so  ridiculously 
stupid  as  these  love-letters ;  they  are  almost  al- 
ways the  same — one  is  an  exact  copy  of  another. 
The  writer  finds  in  every  girl  a  goddess,  an 
angel,  a  superior  being;  the  receiver,  however, 
believes  that  the  fulsome  stuif  suits  for  her  alone  : 
her  heart  beats  with  pride,  for  she  is  happier  than 
a  thousand  others.  Further,  she  sees  in  her 
letter  words  of  burning  love,  unbearable  suffer- 
ing, and  everlasting  fidelity.  All  this  is  worthy 
of  credence ;  for  is  she  not  well  worthy  of  being 
loved  ?  and  must  she  not  have  a  heart  of  stone  if 
she  left  the  poor  fellow  to  sufter  all  these  tor- 
ments alone  ?  l^o  ;  she  must  respond  to  his  af- 
fection. Anguish  or  misfortune  can  never  ap- 
proach her ;  for  his  feelings  are  to  be  everlasting, 
and  her  happiness  must  also  be  everlasting.  The 
poor  deluded  girl  never  dreams  that  the  eternity 
mentioned  in  her  letter  very  rarely  extends  to  the 


ABOVE  HER  STATTON.  59 

end  of  the  year ;  slie  has  often  heard  him  utter 
the  same  sentiments,  but  now  this  assurance,  this 
written  description  of  his  feelings  must  be  true. 

So  also  did  Clara  believe,  when  she  had  read 
her  letter.  Her  heart  beat  for  joy  ;  by  her  own 
skillful  management  she  had  brought  him  this 
length  to  think  seriously  of  her  ;  now  she  would 
not  let  him  pine  any  longer,  but  would  let  him 
see  that  she  loved  him.  Willingly  would  she 
have  written  an  immediate  answer,  but  she  had 
been  invited  to  spend  this  evening  at  her  Aunt 
Kieka's,  and  had  promised  to  call  for  her  mother 
at  six  o'clock.  The  answer  to  such  a  letter  was 
not  a  small  matter:  it  must  be  written  with. 
thought  and  care.  Thus  she  went  to  her  aunt's 
with  disquiet  and  uneasiness  at  her  heart.  The 
letter,  of  course,  she  carried  in  her  bosom. 

Under  ordinary  circumstances  she  preferred 
going  to  her  aunt's  on  Sylvester  evening  to  any 
other  in  the  year,  for  then  there  were  punch  and 
cakes ;  and,  besides,  though  much  was  said  and 
sung  on   the  last  night  of   the  year  that  was 


60  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

serious,  yet  the  party  was  generally  very  agree- 
able, and  many  a  frolic  made  for  the  young  folks ; 
for  her  aunt  was,  in  spite  of  her  methodism,  very 
lively,  and  could  be  very  witty,  and  never  re- 
strained the  innocent  gaiety  of  youth.  This 
evening,  however,  Clara  felt  quite  indifferent  to 
every  thing;  and  when  her  friends  jested  her 
about  her  unusual  taciturnity,  she  appeared  start- 
led, and  a  sort  of  forced  conscious  smile  made  it 
clear  to  all  present  that  she  had  some  secret  cause 
of  uneasiness.  Fritz  Buchstein,  who  was  also 
among  the  guests,  gazed  earnestly  at  her  when 
the  others  quizzed  ;  and  that  made  her  look  still 
more  confused.  However,  the  festivities  soon 
made  every  one  more  lively,  and  they  no  longer 
remarked  Clara's  silence.  Even  Fritz  was  com- 
municative, and  related  many  a  droll  anecdote, 
or  described  some  of  the  interesting  things  he 
had  seen  on  his  travels.  Gretta  hung  upon  his 
words,  and  Clara  herself  was  forced  to  acknowl- 
edge that,  for  a  mere  carpenter,  he  was  a  capital 
fellow.     The  words  flowed  from  his  lips — his  eyes 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  61 

sparkled — his  cheeks  glowed  with  animation. 
She  could  not  account  for  it  herself,  but  when  she 
looked  at  him,  he  seemed  to  her  the  personifica- 
tion of  those  hero  knights  she  had  read  so  much 
about  in  novels,  so  soft  and  mild,  and  withal  so 
noble  and  manly.  She  almost  began  to  envy 
him  to  Gretta,  though  she  did  feel  herself  so  very 
far  above  him :  he  was  but  an  uncultivated  artisan ; 
and  such  a  letter  as  she  carried  next  her  heart 
he  would  not  be  competent  to  write.  In  that 
she  was  perfectly  right ;  for  the  composition  of 
such  an  epistle  would  indeed  be  far  above  the 
capacity  of  his  simple  mind :  he  was  not  so  ut- 
terly devoid  of  principle ;  he  would  never  have 
dared  to  attribute  so  much  stupidity  to  any  girl, 
as  to  suppose  her  to  be  capable  of  taking  for 
earnest  a  string  of  senseless  phrases,  like  what 
are  to  be  found  in  the  first  low  romance  she  may 
lay  her  hands  on. 

Some  hours  had  slipped  by  in  friendly  and  in- 
structive conversation,  when  father  Buchstein  re- 
minded Mrs.  Bendler  of  her  promise. 


62  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

"Yes,  indeed!  This  evening  we  must  float 
our  little  navy,"  said  the  aunt,  laughing.  "  I  am 
myself  most  anxious  to  know  how  it  stands  with 
the  affections  of  my  own  good  friends ;  and  as  I 
am  the  most  curious  on  the  subject,  I  shall  be  the 
first  to  try  my  fortune." 

The  young  people  quite  approved  of  the  pro- 
posal. Gretta  went  to  fetch  a  basin  of  water, 
walnuts,  and  small  wax-tapers.  Fritz  divided 
the  walnuts  carefully,  took  out  the  kernel,  and 
stuck  a  wax-light  in  each  shell.  The  floating 
lights  danced  and  burned  upon  the  water  quite 
prettily.  Aunt  Rieka's  little  boat  took  the  lead  ; 
the  others  were  to  represent  the  father  and  son 
Buchstein,  Mrs.  M— — ,  the  organist,  Gretta, 
Clara,  etc.,  etc.  The  chief  sport  now  was  to  see 
how  the  fleet  would  behave  toward  the  admiral : 
if  they  kept  aloof,  then  the  friendship  was  cold 
and  doubtful ;  and  if  they  came  near,  or  sailed 
in  company,  then  the  affection  was  to  be  depend- 
ed on.  They  all  seemed  to  stand  off*  from  Mrs. 
Bendler's  boat;    upon   which    she    commenced 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  63 

quizzing  them  for  their  coldness  and  want  of  po- 
liteness ;  when  suddenly  Fritz's  boat,  wafted  by 
a  slight  motion  of  the  water,  shot  over  to  Mrs. 
Bendler's,  and,  notwithstanding  all  the  splashing 
and  shaking  of  the  water,  would  not  again  leave 
her.  The  shaking  had  the  effect  of  driving  the 
other  four  boats  together,  so  that  both  parties 
stood  opposite  to  each  other,  like  two  hostile 
fleets. 

"  As  Fritz  is  so  friendly  disposed  toward  me," 
said  Mrs.  Bendler,  "  he  shall  be  the  first  to  try 
the  hearts  of  his  friends."  Fritz  was  by  no 
means  curious  about  the  matter,  and  wished 
rather  to  let  the  others  take  the  lead ;  but  there 
was  no  help  for  him — the  old  aunt  named  t!ie 
boats,  and  the  game  must  go  forward.  Gretta's 
heart  beat  quickly,  and  already  she  began  to 
think  what  she  would  say,  and  how  she  would 
look,  if  her  tiny  boat  should  betray  the  secret  of 
her  heart.  Two  other  young  girls  quizzed  Fritz, 
and  agreed  that  it  was  not  at  all  seemly  that  he 
should  stand  like  a  Sultan  in  the  midst,  and  all 


64  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

the  young  girls  around  paying  court  to  him. 
Clara  was  far  above  this  child's-play :  her  thoughts 
were  absent ;  the  more  the  hours  advanced,  the 
more  her  uneasiness  and  desire  to  answer  her  pre- 
cious letter  increased ;  but,  strangely  enough,  her 
little  boat  was  the  first  to  approach  that  of  Fritz, 
which  it  joined,  and  they  then  sailed  together 
around  the  little  sea. 

This,  of  course,  gave  rise  to  much  laughing 
and  quizzing;  but  Clara  screwed  up  her  mouth, 
and  cast  a  look  of  supreme  contempt  upon  the 
young  tradesman,  so  that  every  eye  could  see  the 
state  of  her  heart  respecting  him.  Gretta  be- 
came quite  red  with  anger,  and  had  a  sharp 
word  ready  for  utterance,  which  the  presence  of 
Fritz  alone  restrained.  The  other  two  girls 
touched  each  other,  and  smiled ;  for  Clara  had 
seemed  as  if  acting  the  great  lady  over  them  all 
the  evening;  and  Mrs.  M.,  the  organist,  said 
tartly,  "  Oh,  Miss  Clara,  you  need  not  twist  your 
mouth,  and  turn  up  your  nose,  for  you  are  in  most 
respectable  society  here." 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  65 

But  Aunt  Rieka  would  not  have  a  serious  mat- 
ter made  out  of  mere  play,  and  said,  jokingly, 
"  On  sucli  occasions,  every  young  girl  must  ap- 
pear proud  and  coy,  otherwise  the  lads  would 
become  too  vain." 

Then  the  names  of  the  boats  were  changed, 
and  the  game  went  on  as  before  ;  Fritz,  however, 
kept  the  thorn  in  his  heart.  Although  he  had 
long  given  up  all  idea  of  possessing  Clara,  yet  he 
could  not  sit  opposite  to  her  all  this  long  evening 
without  an  inward  agitation — she  seemed  to  him 
to  be  actuated  by  both  a  good  and  a  bad  spirit — 
how  gladly  he  would  have  expelled  the  bad,  and 
bound  her  fast  to  the  good  angel.  The  dark- 
blue  eyes  looked  at  times  so  childish,  just  as  his 
memory  had  pictured  them  to  him  in  his  wan- 
derings, lie  knew  much  more  about  her  life  and 
actions  than  any  one  present — the  eye  of  love  is 
penetrating — he  knew  that  the  student  lived  in 
the  same  house  as  her  mistress ;  that  he  had  to 
ascend  the  same  stair,  in  order  to  reach  his  apart- 
ment ;  and  yet  Fritz  could  not  bring  himself  to 
5 


6Q  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

give  up  hope  for  her ;  his  sympathizing  and  sor- 
rowing heart  was  deeply  wounded  by  her  scorn- 
ful manner. 

Thus  the  hours  wore  on — the  clock  struck  ten ; 
they  began  to  be  more  serious.  The  old  folks 
related  anecdotes  and  incidents  of  their  youth  ; 
the  young  ones  listened  respectfully.  This  was 
very  agreeable  to  Fritz,  for  he  was  by  no  means 
in  a  humor  for  gayety ;  and  a  little  later  he  pro- 
posed reading  a  few  verses  in  the  Bible,  lie 
turned  up  the  90th  Psalm :  his  reading  was  slow 
and  solemn,  his  voice  increased  in  power,  and  the 
words  seemed  to  flow  from  his  heart.  As  he  read 
the  passage,  "  So  teach  us  to  number  our  days, 
that  we  may  apply  our  hearts  unto  wisdom,"  he 
glanced  at  Clara.  I^To  one  observed  it ;  but  Clara 
could  not  support  the  look  which  recalled  her 
absent  thoughts  to  the  meaning  of  the  words. 
After  the  Psalm  they  all  united  in  prayer  ;  then 
they  sung  a  li3min  suitable  to  the  new  year. 

Clara  tried  hard  not  to  listen,  and  to  occupy 
her  mind  with  other  thoughts ;  but  she  could  not 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  67 

succeed.  Fritz's  voice  sounded  iu  her  ears  like 
the  knell  of  a  passing  bell — so  powerful,  so  seri- 
ous. She  was  obliged  to  listen  ;  and  the  longer 
he  read  the  more  her  attention  was  aroused.  He 
read  of  death — the  grave — and  decay :  she  was 
alarmed,  and  her  superstitious  heart  fancied  the 
fear  was  a  presentiment  of  evil.  "  Only,  not 
death ! "  thought  she.  "  I  cannot  die  yet !  The 
Savior  of  whom  they  speak  cannot  help  me; 
His  kingdom,  with  the  everlasting  mansions,  has 
no  charm  for  me  :  no ;  after  death  there  is  no 
more  hope  for  me.  Such  horrid  thoughts  em- 
bitter the  delights  of  life ;  and  just  this  evening 
to  have  them  stirred  up — it  is  really  too  bad  ! 
The  others  all  look  as  peaceful  and  happy,  as  if 
they  had  every  thing  sure ;  Fritz  seems  so  full  of 
the  truth,  his  countenance  so  bright ;  and  how 
humbly  Gretta  looks  up  to  him — surely  such 
looks  must  penetrate  his  heart !  " 

The  clock  struck  twelve ;  all  rose  up  to  pray  : 
thus  the  first  action  in  the  new  year  was  one  of 
devotion  and  dependence  upon  the  goodness  and 


68  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

care  of  their  God  and  Savior.  Clara  was  obliged 
to  do  as  the  others  did,  but  her  heart  was  dark 
as  midnight ;  the  devil  held  her  fast.  "  Oh,  that 
I  was  only  out  of  this ! "  sighed  she ;  and  her 
love-letter  dragged  her  away  from  all  that  was 
peaceful  and  serious  into  the  lusts  and  turmoil  of 
the  world. 

Mrs.  Krauter's  way  home  lay  in  the  same  di- 
rection with  that  of  others  of  the  party ;  but 
Clara  had  to  go  quite  alone,  and  to  a  distant 
part  of  the  town ;  so  it  was  settled  that  she 
should  be  conducted  to  her  home  by  Fritz — an 
arrangement  which  she  strongly  opposed — for 
she  was  most  unwilling  to  trust  herself  on  a 
lonely  walk  with  this  strangely  good  young  man. 
But  there  was  no  help  for  her.  On  Sylvester 
night,  when  the  streets  were  full  of  drunken 
people,  no  young  girl  could  go  out  alone,  she 
was  told ;  and  she  had  to  give  in.  Fritz  was 
not  in  the  least  confused ;  the  late  devotional 
exercises  had  so  completely  elevated  his  thoughts, 
thai  ho  felt  for  the  time  quite  indifferent  to  all 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  69 

earthly  things.  He  looked  Clara  calmly  in  the 
face,  and  conversed  quite  easily  with  her;  but 
when  they  got  outside,  the  wind  blew  so  fiercely, 
the  rain  poured  in  such  torrents,  and  Clara 
walked  so  quickly,  that  he  was  obliged  to  be 
silent. 

At  length  they  reached  Madame  von  Traut- 
stein's  hall-door.  Clara  took  the  key  and  opened 
it.  The  moon  just  then  burst  through  the  clouds, 
and  shed  her  silvery  brightness  over  Fritz  and 
Clara.  She  looked  at  him  involuntarily,  and 
met  the  melancholy  gaze  of  his  dark  eye  resting 
upon  her  fresh  young  face.  He  stretched  forth 
his  hand,  and  she  reluctantly  placed  hers  with- 
in it. 

"  Clara,"  said  he,  with  emotion,  "  we  are  now 
at  the  beginning  of  a  new  year  ;  may  the  Lord 
watch  over  and  bless  us  with  His  guidance,  so 
that,  if  we  live  to  see  the  end  of  it,  we  may  be 
able  to  look  back  with  a  peaceful  conscience  and 
an  unspotted  reputation.  God  bless  and  preserve 
you!" 


70  ABOVE   HER   STATION. 

He  turned  quickly  from  her :  she  stepped  into 
the  house,  but  was  obliged  to  stand  still  for  a 
few  moments  to  recover  from  the  feeling  of  faint- 
ness  occasioned  by  the  solemn  words  o-f  Fritz. 

"What  does  he  mean?"  thought  she.  "My 
reputation !  of  that  I  shall  myself  take  good  care. 
And  my  conscience  !  I  am  not  going  to  commit 
any  crime,  I  hope."  She  tried,  with  an  eifort,  to 
shake  off  the  impression  which  Fritz's  words  had 
left  upon  her  mind ;  which  was,  unfortunately, 
too  easily  done. 

She  had  ascended  to  the  first  floor,  and  was 
just  going  to  open  the  door  of  her  mistress's 
dwelling,  when  she  heard  steps  descending  from 
the  second  flat;  she  hesitated — yes,  it  was  the 
medical  student.  He  had  ushered  in  the  new 
year  in  a  louder  and  wilder  manner  than  Clara 
had  done :  his  face  glowed  from  the  eflects  of 
wine,  and,  for  some  time,  he  had  been  awaiting 
Clara's  return  with  impatience.  I^ow  the  words 
flowed  like  a  fiery  stream  from  his  lips.  These 
assurances  of  love  and  fidelity — these  expressions 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  71 

of  deep  feeling !  Clara  could  not  withstand  him 
any  longer.  She  returned  sweet-whispered  love- 
phrases,  endured  his  kisses,  and,  when  she  at 
length  tore  herself  away  from,  him,  it  was  with 
many  promises  to  arrans^e  for  a  speedy  meet- 
ing, where  he  could  enjoy  her  society  undis- 
turbed. That  was  not  at  all  difficult :  at  her 
mother's  she  could  easily  meet  him,  for  she  would 
never  put  any  thing  in  the  way  of  her  daugh- 
ter's happiness.  "And,"  added  Clara,  "it  will 
be  necessary  to  consult  about  our  betrothal; 
there  will  be  many  things  to  arrange." 

"  Little  fool ! "  interrupted  the  student,  "  who 
would  think  of  such  nonsense  ?  We  live  in  the 
present;  the  gods  will  provide  for  the  rest." 
Then  he  added  a  few  tender  expressions,  and 
went  up  to  his  own  apartment. 

These  last  words  fell  with  a  freezing  influence 
over  the  green  fields  of  Clara's  happiness;  but 
yet  she  would  not  allow  any  suspicion  to  prey 
upon  her  mind,  and  went  to  bed  to  dream  of 
future  grandeur. 


CHAPTER  IV. 

THE  next  morning  Clara  awoke  later  than 
usual.  Her  good  mistress  would  not  have 
her  roused  at  the  customary  hour,  in  order  that 
she  might  recover  the  sleep  lost  while  watching 
in  the  new"year ;  but,  even  then,  she  did  not  feel 
herself  quite  right.  She  felt  her  head  so  empty, 
and  her  heart  so  weak;  she  tried  to  make  it 
clear  to  herself  that  she  was  very  happy :  but,  in 
spite  of  all  her  reasoning,  she  remained  uneasy. 
Will  he  really  think  seriously  of  me  ?  Will  he 
openly  betroth  himself  to  me  ?  Will  he  acquaint 
his  parents?  Such  questions  she  was  fool 
enough  to  put  to  herself.  She  felt  it  would  still 
require  great  prudence  on  her  part  to  discover 
all  she  wished  to  know.     So  stupid  as  her  mother 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  73 

had  been,  who  let  the  young  lawyer  slip  through 
her  fingers,  I  shall  never  become,  thought  Clara : 
and  so  think  all  foolish  girls  who  begin  silly  love 
aifairs  with  men  above  their  own  station  in  life. 
True,  they  see  around  them  examples  enough  of 
the  miserable  end  of  all  similar  intrigues ;  but 
they  are  so  clever,  they  think  their  chance  is 
much  better  than  that  of  all  who  have  preceded 
them ;  they  will  be  certain  to  act  differently — 
until  the  pure  heart,  honor,  and  a  good  con- 
science, together  with  the  lover,  have  all  slipped 
away  from  them. 

When  Clara  went  as  usual  to  her  mistress,  in 
order  to  help  her  with  her  toilet,  she  found  her 
already  dressed  and  at  breakfast ;  and  beside  her 
sat  a  handsome,  slight  young  man,  in  military 
uniform.  Clara  excused  herself  for  being  so 
late;  her  mistress,  however,  was  very  friendly 
toward  her,  and  added,  "  Yesterday  evening  I 
had  a  very  pleasant  surprise — my  son  came  home 
quite  unexpectedly." 

The  young  man   stood  up  as  Clara  entered. 


74  ABOVE   HER   STATION. 

Her  beauty  and  nice  manner  led  him  to  salute 
her  with  more  ceremony  than  he  would  have 
used  had  he  been  aware  that  his  mother's  maid 
stood  before  him.  Kow  he  felt  a  little  coufused, 
which  Clara  quickly  observed — a  coquettish  girl 
has  very  fine  feelings  in  such  matters — and  her 
whole  manner  was  studied  to  attract  the  young 
man.  She  moved  about  arranging  all  in  the 
breakfast-room,  put  the  bed-chamber  in  order, 
and  then  went  to  dress  herself.  Unconsciously 
she  began  to  make  comparisons  between  the  stu- 
dent and  the  young  guardsman  :  the  former  lost 
much  in  her  estimation — he  was  really  coarse 
and  ugly,  and  vulgar,  both  in  speech  and  man- 
ner. "  After  all,"  said  she  to  herself,  "  he  is  but 
a  student;  and  most  probably  when  he  is  at 
home  with  his  mother,  the  President's  lady,  he 
will  act  otherwise.  But  he  must  learn  to  re- 
strain himself  also  when  with  me :  I  will  have 
him  to  be  fine  and  noble,  like  the  young  lieuten- 
ant." 

The  house  was  so  full  of  bustle  and  gayety, 


ABOVE    UER   STATION.  75' 

from  the  succession  of  new-year's  visitors,  that  it 
was  quite  impossible  for  the  student  to  see  Clara. 
Even  in  the  evening  there  was  a  large  party, 
with  the  hall  lighted  up,  and  constant  movement 
upon  the  stairs.  He  was  most  impatient,  and 
hardly  knew  how  to  pass  the  time.  "With  Clara 
it  was  quite  otherwise :  she  had  been  so  busy 
and  so  much  amused  all  day,  that  she  had  had 
no  time  to  think  of  her  love  aifair.  Hitherto 
she  had  only  served  old  ladies  with  tea ;  this 
day,  however,  there  were  young  gentlemen  of 
the  party,  friends  of  the  young  lieutenant.  Clara, 
in  a  blue  muslin  dress,  with  her  white  neck  and 
arms  uncovered,  stood  before  the  hissing  tea-urn, 
or  glided  about  in  the  well-lighted  and  perfumed 
saloons.  Such  a  triumph  had  never  before  fallen 
to  her  lot :  the  young  men  gazed  after  her  wher- 
ever she  moved ;  until  at  length  the  attention 
of  the  old  lady  was  aroused,  and  looking  very 
serious,  she  said  graciously  to  Clara,  not  to  fa- 
tigue herself  any  longer,  as  the  man-servant  could 
now  attend  to  the  company  alone. 


76  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

Overheated  and  excited,  she  retired  to  her  own 
room.  Hardly  had  the  student  seen  her  light 
than  he  gently  clapped  his  hands.  Clara  had 
no  great  desire  to  talk  with  him  just  then;  but, 
catching  a  glimpse  of  her  figure  in  the  glass,  she 
found  herself  so  very  attractive,  that  she  quickly 
decided  the  student  should  see  her,  and  convince 
himself  that  she  was  really  fit  to  be  presented  in 
the  drawing-room  of  a  President.  Yes ;  her 
pride  and  vanity  had  risen  to  such  a  pitch  this 
day,  that  she  thought  he  must  consider  himself 
most  fortunate  to  win  her.  Indeed,  she  was  not 
quite  sure — a  much  higher  lot  might  be  before 
her.  The  young  Count,  who  was  of  the  party 
this  evening,  had  never  taken  his  eyes  off  her ; 
and  then  she  had  also  a  chance  with  her  mistress's 
son,  who,  besides  his  J)ay,  possessed  a  fine  estate 
in  Silesia,  and  was  of  noble  birth.  Clara  had 
read  many  romances ;  she  knew  that,  not  unsel- 
dom,  poor  girls  made  splendid  marriages,  and 
she  had  a  distinct  presentiment  of  something 
very  great  for  the  future. 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  77 

With  such  exalted  notions  about  herself,  she 
stepped  down  to  the  hall :  the  student  was  al- 
ready there  before  her.  When  he  saw  the  lady- 
like, condescending  manner  of  Clara,  coupled 
with  her  great  beauty,  he  swallowed  the  coarse 
lover  complaints  that  stuck  in  his  throat,  and 
merely  lamented  his  misfortune  in  not  being  able 
to  see  her  for  a  whole  day.  Clara  replied,  '•  That 
this  was  not  a  suitable  place  for  a  chat ;  and  told 
him  to  come  the  next  evening  to  meet  her  at  her 
mother's."  She  did  not  refuse  his  affectionate 
advances — pride  and  vanity  are  no  safeguard 
against  wicked  desires  ;  on  the  contrary,  they  are 
very  good  sisters,  and  mutually  assist  each  other. 

The  next  day  Clara  sat  as  usual  in  the  ante- 
room, sewing.  The  lieutenant  stepped  in,  and 
begged  her  to  put  a  few  stitches  in  his  purse. 
While  she  mended  the  hole  with  her  fine  clever 
lingers,  he  stood  silently  before  her.  Clara  also 
was  silent,  but  her  whole  manner  spoke.  How 
she  held  her  head,  moved  her  fingers ;  how  she 
looked  up  as  she  returned  him  the  purse — all 


78  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

that  must  storm  the  heart  of  the  young  man. 
Clara  remarked  that  he  would  gladly  have  com- 
menced a  conversation  with  her ;  but  the  sound 
of  her  mistress's  footsteps  was  heard  in  the  next 
room,  and  he  left  her  with  a  short  respectful,  "  I 
thank  you." 

The  day  passed  over  with  plans  for  the  even- 
ing :  and  when  the  tine  form  of  the  lieutenant 
did  force  itself  into  her  thoughts,  she  tried  to 
drive  it  away.  "  The  student  must  solemnly  be- 
troth himself  to  me  this  evening,  and,  if  possible, 
we  must  make  a  bridal  visit  to  Aunt  Eieka. 
What  will  she  say  ?  and  Gretta  ?  they  will  have 
respect  for  the  daughter-in-law  of  a  President. 
The  student  must  come  to-morrow  morning  to 
my  mistress  to  ask  her  to  permit  me  to  resign  my 
situation,  or  at  least  to  give  me  another  position 
in  the  house.  He  must  immediatel}'^  give  me  the 
half  of  his  money,  in  order  to  procure  a  suitable 
wardrobe."  Thus  her  thoughts  ran  on  :  she  was 
now  above  all  want ;  she  might  buy  her  chemises 
by  the  dozen,  and  let  them  be  made — and  so  on 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  79 

with  every  thing  else.  Preoccupied  in  this  man- 
ner, it  was  not  at  all  agreeable  to  her  to  be  obliged 
to  read  to  her  mistress  from  six  till  seven.  Mad- 
ame von  Trautstein  was  quite  alone  :  she  did  not 
expect  her  son  till  late  in  the  evening,  and  one  of 
Clara's  duties  was  to  amuse  her  in  a  lonely  hour, 
by  reading  aloud.  This  evening  she  read  very 
badly,  and  the  old  lady  was  on  the  point  of  re- 
proving her  for  the  unusual  carelessness,  when 
the  door  opened,  and  her  son  entered.  Xodding 
to  his  mother,  he  set  himself  in  a  dark  corner 
until  the  chapter  was  finished.  A  new  power 
seemed  suddenly  to  spring  up  in  Clara  :  she  now 
read  with  taste  and  emphasis.  The  lieutenant 
never  took  his  eyes  oft'  her  :  his  mother  observed 
him  with  anxiety.  When  Clara  had  left  the 
room  she  turned  to  her  son,  saying,  with  a  laugh, 
"  My  dear  Alfred,  I  think  I  must  send  my  pretty 
maid  away,  during  the  time  that  you  gay  young 
fellows  are  dangling  about  the  house." 

"  Well,  mother,  and  suppose  I  should  get  a  lit- 
tle in  love  with  her,  you  do  not  fear." 


80  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

*'  No,  I  am  not  in  the  least  afraid  that  you 
would  be  wicked  enough  to  make  a  poor  silly  girl 
more  foolish  than  she  is  already ;  but  I  have  not 
the  same  confidence  in  your  friends." 

Alfred  laughed.  "They  are  all  mad  about 
this  beaut}-^ ;  and  Count  Briindel,  I  think,  would 
not  take  time  to  consider  whether  he  was  adding 
folly  to  foolishness  or  not,  provided  he  could 
gratify  his  own  pleasures." 

"  Then  I  entreat  of  you,  try  as  much  as  possi- 
ble to  hinder  him  seeing  her,"  said  his  mother ; 
"  and  you  will  be  careful  yourself,"  added  she, 
with  a  little  hesitation. 

"  Certainl}',"  said  Alfred,  with  candor,  taking 
his  mother's  hand ;  "  and  should  you,  dear  moth- 
er, see  any  danger  for  either  of  us,  then  just  drive 
mo  oft'  at  once,"  said  he,  laughing. 

This  conversation  was  all  overheard  by  Clara 
through  the  key-hole,  for  listening  was  not  for- 
bidden in  the  ten  commandments.  "  They  are 
all  in  love  with  me,"  said  she  to  herself;  "and 
Alfred    is   the   handsomest  and  noblest  of  all. 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  81 

He  will  never  make  a  sport  of  me ;  if  he  display 
any  affection,  it  will  be  in  earnest ! "  She  sighed 
— Oh,  if  she  had  never  begun  with  the  student ! 
It  was  not  too  late — she  might  still  break  off 
with  him ;  but  she  had  allowed  him  to  kiss  her  ; 
she  had  carried  on  a  love  affair  with  him  on  the 
stairs ;  she  could  never  become  Madame  von 
Trautstein.  "  So  now"  bravely  forward  to  hold 
the  student  fast ;  he  also  is  a  man  of  standing, 
and  is  so  very  much  in  love,  I  can  do  what  I  like 
with  him." 

With  such  thoughts  as  these  she  hurried  to  her 
mother's  to  make  the  preparations  for  her  be- 
trothal. Two  candles  were  burning  beside  the 
little  lamp  :  cups  and  cakes  stood  upon  the  table ; 
the  tea-pot  in  the  oven ;  the  mother  sat  in  an 
arm-chair  near  the  fire ;  Clara,  with  her  guitar 
on  her  arm,  reclined  upon  the  sofa.  The  student 
came,  the  door  w^as  shut,  then  commenced  the 
chatting,  and  fun,  and  love-making.  The  moth- 
er w^as  perfectly  happy.     The  student  had  already 

handed  over  a  purse  full  of  money,  which  was  to 
6 


82  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

be  laid  out  for  Clara.  She  must  confess  that 
Clara  had  gone  much  more  skillfully  to  work  than 
she  had  in  her  young  days.  Clara  was  much 
more  coy  and  lady-like,  and  commanded  more 
respect.  Poor  foolish  old  woman :  she  did  not 
remember  that  the  end  of  a  cunning  sinner  is 
the  same  as  that  of  the  soft,  silly  one.  Clara 
now  thought  it  time  to  make  her  proposals  for  a 
public  betrothal  this  very  evening,  and  suggested 
that  they  should  go  and  make  a  bridal  visit  to 
Aunt  Eieka.  The  student,  at  first,  looked  con- 
founded, then  burst  into  a  loud  laugh.  He  had 
already  had  many  love  affairs,  but  such  a  wild 
proposal  had  never  yet  been  made  to  him. 

"  You  little  fool !  "  said  he,  "  how  can  you  be 
such  a  Philistine !  with  us  love  is  now  our  busi- 
ness, not  betrothal.  When  the  world  knows  all 
about  it,  then  the  pleasure  of  love  is  over." 

Clara  stood  up — she  trembled  in  all  her  limbs. 
"  If  such  are  your  intentions,  then  we  separate 
at  once,  and  forever,"  she  exclaimed,  quite  en- 
raged. 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  88 

The  student  was  again  confounded,  but  lie  did 
not  laugh  this  time.  He  discovered  that  he 
would  need  to  pursue  a  very  different  course  with 
this  girl  to  that  which  had  been  his  habit  with 
others ;  and  as  he  was  very  much  in  love  with 
her,  he  began  to  capitulate.  That,  however,  did 
not  help  him ;  the  girl  was  clever  enough  to  see 
through  his  smooth  words ;  and  she  actually  be- 
gan to  dislike  him.  She  thought  of  the  young 
Lieutenant,  the  Count,  etc. — she  required  but  to 
nod,  and  she  could  have  them  all  at  her  feet ; 
yes,  it  seemed  as  if  the  student  alone  stood  in 
the  way  of  her  future  elevation ;  she  must  get 
rid  of  him ;  and  this  it  was  which  gave  her  cour- 
age to  play  the  virtuous  heroine.  She  made  the 
finest  speeches ;  even  though  he  assured  her  that 
he  would  speak  to  his  parents  at  Easter,  but  un- 
til then  the  affair  must  remain  a  secret.  She 
stood  her  ground  firmly,  and  when  he  tried  to 
storm  her  with  his  love  and  his  misery,  she 
locked  herself  up  in  her  bed-room.  The  mother 
played  a  sad  role  in  this  piece ;  her  heart  was 


84  ABOVE  HEK  STATION. 

softer  than  the  daughter's ;  she  would  willingly 
have  seen  the  miserable  lover  made  happy,  to 
which  the  fine  full  purse,  lying  on  the  table, 
helped  to  move  her :  she  tried  hard  to  console 
him :  promised  to  talk  over  her  daughter,  and  so 
kept  up  his  hopes.  Clara,  however,  stoutly  with- 
stood all  appeals,  stood  aloof,  firm,  and  proud  as 
a  queen.  "  Now,  you  see,"  said  she  to  her  moth- 
er, when  they  were  alone,  "  this  is  the  way  to 
act:  no  one  shall  make  a  fool  of  me !  "  And  be- 
cause inwardly  she  felt  humbled  at  having  allow- 
ed the  student  to  slip  through  her  fingers,  as  her 
mother  had  the  lawyer,  she  spoke  the  grander, 
and  let  a  slight  glimmering  appear  of  her  future 
prospects  with  the  young  nobleman ;  then,  in  or- 
der to  fully  reconcile  her  mother  to  the  first  ad- 
venture, she  handed  over  the  full  purse,  left  by 
the  student,  to  her  care. 

But  when  she  got  into  the  privacy  of  her  own 
chamber,  she  relieved  her  pent-up  feelings  by  a 
violent  burst  of  tears :  not  tears  of  repentance 
for  her  levity  and  folly — no ;  she  wept  on  ac- 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  85 

count  of  her  stupidity  for  having  allowed  her- 
self to  be  carried  away  with  this  rough  fellow. 
If  her  mistress  were  to  hear  of  it — if  the  lieuten- 
ant knew  it  ?  But,  fortunately,  they  knew  noth- 
ing at  all  about  it,  nor  would  they  ever  know  it 
— that  at  least  was  some  consolation  to  her :  "  I 
shall  take  better  care  for  the  future,  and  not 
make  any  acquaintance  with  rough,  rude  fellows." 
And  in  order  to  comfort  herself  completely,  she 
recalled  the  conversation  between  her  mistress 
and  her  son,  which  she  had  listened  to  at  the 
key-hole.  She  could  not  fail ;  some  of  her  pro- 
jects must  succeed ;  thus  wrapped  up  with  ideas 
of  future  greatness,  to  be  gained  by  her  own  in- 
trigue and  cleverness,  she  fell  asleep  quite  com- 
forted. 

Her  window-blind  was  now  never  pulled  up ; 
and  the  cook,  who  had  begun  to  have  suspicions 
about  her  conduct  with  the  student,  was  fully  at 
rest. 

Her  mistress,  however,  was  not  easy :  she  saw 
the  eyes  of  her  son  constantly  fixed  upon  Clara^ 


86  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

wlio  looked  particularly  soft  and  beautiful.  The 
Count  had  said,  "  That  girl  is  uncommonly  proud 
and  prudish:"  and  Alfred  had  related  this  in 
triumph  to  his  mother,  remarking,  at  the  same 
time,  that  her  education  must  be  far  superior  to 
that  of  an  ordinary  servant  girl.  Clara  had 
again  overheard  the  conversation;  for  when  the 
mother  and  son  were  alone  together,  she  seldom 
left  her  post  at  the  key-hole.  Those  were  hal- 
cyon days;  and  her  mind  was  constantly  filled 
with  the  wildest  plans  and  dreams  of  the  future 
grandeur  which  awaited  her. 

But  fourteen  days  soon  come  to  an  end — the 
time  of  parting  was  at  hand;  yes;  the  lieuten- 
ant was  off  one  morning,  without  giving  Clara 
the  slightest  intimation  of  his  intention.  She 
became  suddenly  quite  another  person, — absent 
and  pettish  in  her  manner ;  the  serious  looks  of 
her  mistress  first  brought  her  to  her  senses. 

Some  days  after,  Madame  von  Trautstein  sat 
for  an  entire  morning  at  her  writing-table ;  now 
and  then  walking  up  and   down  the  room  in 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  87 

deep  thouglit.  Clara  guessed  riglitlj :  she  was 
writing  a  very  important  letter  to  her  son.  "  I 
would  give  all  in  the  world,"  thought  Clara,  "to 
read  that  letter  ;  and  if  it  is  not  sent  to  the  post 
to-day,  it  is  still  possible.  Chance^  favored  her 
— the  afternoon  was  taken  up  by  a  succession  of 
visitors  :  in  the  evening  the  old  lady  had  an  en- 
gagement with  a  few  friends,  so  that  she  had  no 
time  to  finish  her  letter. 

With  a  beating  heart  Clara  heard  the  carriage 
drive  off  with  her  mistress,  and  as  the  man-ser- 
vant had  gone  with  her,  it  was  just  the  time  for 
her  to  gratify  her  wicked  desire  of  reading  the 
letter.  She  quickly  brought  all  the  small  keys 
she  could  find :  tried  with  trembling  fingers  to 
open  the  lock ;  but  in  vain.  Ten  times  she  ran 
to  the  door  to  listen  if  any  one  was  coming :  for 
the  first  time  in  her  life  she  felt  strong  warnings 
of  conscience,  but  for  the  first  time  in  her  life  she 
had  descended  from  the  steps  of  levity  and  folly, 
to  commit  actual  crime.     Like  a  thief  she  stood 


88  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

before  the  locked  writing-table,  and  was  she  not 
actually  going  to  steal  ? 

The  lock  would  not  move,  the  carriage  came 
back :  Clara  quickly  left  the  apartment. 

In  her  own  room  she  thought  over  the  affair 
more  quietly,  even  blamed  herself  for  her  foolish 
fears:  reasoned  with  herself,  that  it  was  not 
such  a  very  great  thing  to  read  another  person's 
letter,  and  would  gladly  have  tried  again ;  but 
she  was  obliged  to  wait  until  the  coachman 
should  take  out  the  carriage  to  go  for  his  mis- 
tress. ITow  she  went  more  cautiously  to  work, 
practice  soon  makes  all  things  easy ;  therefore, 
we  are  warned  "  To  beware  of  the  first  step  in 
vice,  for  the  others  soon  follow,  and  lead  to  a  great 
fall."  But  even  now  the  lock  would  not  open, 
though  attempted  with  much  greater  care,  and 
Clara  was  obliged  to  go  to  bed  with  her  highly- 
excited  curiosity  unsatisfied. 

The  next  morning  she  went,  according  to  cus- 
tom, at  an  early  hour,  to  light  the  fire  in  her 
mistress's  room ;  and,  as  usual,  the  bunch  of  kej^s 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  89 

lay  on  the  little  table  beside  the  night  lamp. 
What  a  chance  to  open  the  writing-table ! 
Hitherto  Clara  had  never  thought  of  disturbing 
them,  but  this  morning  the  temptation  was  too 
great.  Taking  them  up  softly,  she  quickly  left 
the  room,  locked  the  door  after  her,  and  also 
that  of  the  ante-room,  though  the  man-servant 
had  nothing  whatever  to  do  there  at  that  hour 
of  the  morning ;  "  but  the  wicked  flee  when  no 
man  pursueth."  J^ow  she  easily  opened  the 
writing-table  :  there  stood  a  little  box  full  of 
money,  beside  it  lay  the  letter ;  the  money  had 
no  attractions  for  her,  but  the  letter  had  many. 
She  skimmed  it  over  hastily,  but  discovered 
enough  to  set  her  thinking  for  days.  The 
mother  warned  her  son  against  his  own  heart ; 
she  desired  to  preserve  him  from  a  love  that 
would  certainly  render  him  unhappy,  if  not  for 
years,  at  least  for  days.  Then  she  described 
Clara's  conduct,  her  motives  and  actions,  with 
such  truthfulness,  that  the  very  reading  of  it 
caused  her  to  blush  deeply.     Yes,  the  sensible, 


90  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

clever  old  lady  had  completely  seen  through  all 
the  coquettish  intrigues,  and  silly  ambition  of 
the  girl.  "  She  is  faithful  and  honest,  clever  and 
industrious ;  "  so  ended  the  old  lady's  portrait  of 
her  maid,  "  therefore  I  shall  not  send  her  away, 
but  shall  make  it  my  duty  to  watch  over  her 
more  closely,  which,  in  the  quiet  routine  of  my 
life,  will  not  be  very  difficult." 

Clara  was  dreadfully  excited.  She  carefully 
replaced  the  letter,  locked  the  writing-table,  and 
put  the  keys  where  she  found  them.  She  had 
succeeded  admirably ;  and  although  there  were 
many  things  in  the  letter  which  vexed  her,  yet 
there  were  others  of  an  agreeable  nature — the 
lieutenant  loved  her,  his  mother  feared  it. 

Her  grand^  desire  now  was  to  read  the  answer 
to  this  letter.  With  the  utmost  assiduitj-  did  she 
watch  the  arrival  of  the  postman;  at  length, 
after  eight  days  waiting,  she  discovered  the  Ber- 
lin postmark  and  the  family  arms  upon  the  seal 
of  a  letter.  The  old  lady  took  this  letter  with 
very  great  eagerness  from  Clara,  and  opening  it 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  91 

quickly,  began  to  read.  Clara  dallied  about  the 
room,  dusted  here,  arranged  there,  in  order  to 
gain  time  to  observe  the  countenance  of  her 
mistress,  which  at  first  expressed  great  serious- 
ness, cleared  up  gradually,  however,  and  finally 
was  illuminated  by  a  friendly  contented  smile. 
This  smile  pierced  like  a  dagger  into  the  heart 
of  Clara.  Never  had  any  day  seemed  so  tedious 
to  her  as  this  one ;  for  she  could  not  possibly  re- 
new her  clever  trick  at  the  writing-table  before 
the  next  morning,  and  satisfy  her  burning  curi- 
osity by  reading  the  letter  from  the  lieutenant  to 
his  mother. 

Morning  came  at  last :  Clara  was  in  her  mis- 
tress's apartment  half  an  hour  earlier  than  usual. 
Madame  von  Trautstein  still  lay  peacefully  sleep- 
ing. Clara  took  the  keys,  found  the  letter  at  the 
top  of  the  papers,  and  opening  it,  quickly  read 
as  follows : 

"  If  I  have  caused  you  a  moment's  anxiety, 
my  dearest  mother,  I  am  sincerely  sorry ;  but 
with  all  honesty  I  can  assure  you  that  it  was 


92  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

wholly  needless.  I  shall  not  deny  that,  at  first, 
the  pretty  girl  interested  me,  and  I  was  curious 
to  discover  if  any  thing  really  desirable  lay  be- 
neath the  beautiful  surface.  I  am  quite  of  your 
opinion  respecting  her  character ;  for  during  the 
last  few  days  of  my  visit  to  you,  I  observed  sev- 
eral little  things  in  her  which  convinced  me  she 
was  a  low-minded  coquette ;  and  I  much  doubt 
if  you  will  not  find  it  a  more  difficult  matter 
than  you  think  to  watch  over  her.  Count  Briin- 
del  is  seriously  taken  with  her,  and  he  will  spare 
neither  money  nor  trouble  in  order  to  form  a 
connection  with  her." 

A  slight  movement  w^as  heard   in   the   next 
room :    Clara  started — she  listened — all  seemed  , 
again  quiet ;  but  her  fear  was  great,  and  she  only 
looked  toward  the  end  of  the  letter. 

"  Yes,  beloved  mother,  my  heart  was  already 
occupied  before  I  saw  you  last ;  the  noble  purity 
of  ni}'-  Adelaide  has  completely  conquered  me, 
and  I  hope  soon  to  be  able  to  present  you  with 
a  worthy  daughter-in-law." 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  93 

Again,  there  were  unmistakable  sounds  in 
her  mistress's  chamber,  so  Clara  put  back  the 
letter,  and  quickly  locked  the  writing-table. 
What  a  discovery  was  that  for  her ! 

Rage  and  disappointment  distracted  Clara's 
heart.  Here,  then,  she  could  do  nothing;  the 
young  man  was  not  poetical,  not  romantic 
enough  to  act  in  any  way  contrary  to  the  usages 
of  society  I  All  the  pangs  of  unfortunate  love, 
which  she  had  ever  seen  described  in  novels,  came 
over  her — happily  not  for  a  very  long  time. 


CHAPTER  V. 

THE  winter  had  been  unusually  severe :  even 
in  the  middle  of  February  there  was  snow 
and  hard  frost.  The  sky  w^as  clear,  the  sun 
shone  upon  the  white  roofs,  the  people  stumbled 
against  one  another  in  the  slippery  streets,  and 
could  by  no  precautions  guard  against  red  noses 
and  blue  ears ;  and  the  fantastic  ice-flowers  upon 
the  window-panes  were  scarcely  thawed  by  mid- 
day. 

Gretta  passed  many  tranquil  hours  behind 
these  ice-flowers.  She  sat  opposite  to  her  moth- 
er, and  spun,  and  thought :  and  sometimes  she 
thawed  a  little  window  for  herself  with  her 
breath.  Then  she  saw  the  blue  sky,  the  golden 
sun,  which  gave  her  joyful  anticipations  of  the 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  95^ 

pleasant  spring,  with  its  flowers,  and  birds  sing- 
ing in  the  fresh  green  trees,  and  many  other 
agreeable  things;  and  her  heart  beat  warmly 
behind  the  cold  ice-flowers  on  the  window. 
Sometimes  she  discovered,  through  her  peep-hole, 
the  red  face  of  some  poor  journeyman  out  of 
work,  who  looked  entreatingly  toward  her — then 
she  gave  him  a  trifle  to  help  him  on  his  way ;  or 
she  watched  with  affection  the  little  birds  hop- 
ping upon  the  window-sill  to  pick  the  crumbs. 
Every  day,  after  breakfast  and  dinner,  she  went 
into  the  garden  and  scattered  crumbs  for  the 
birds,  and  whenever  she  appeared,  Benjamin 
Avould  open  his  window,  and  call  out  a  friendly 
good-day  to  her. 

For  some  days,  however,  the  little  window  had 
not  been  opened,  and  the  ice-flowers  never  moved 
from  the  panes.  Gretta  told  this  to  her  mother, 
and  they  consulted  together  about  it.  Benjamin 
must  surely  be  ill :  inquiries  must  be  made  about 
him.  There  had  been  very  little  intercourse  be- 
tween the  neighbors'  houses  this  winter.     Mrs. 


96  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

Bendler  remarked  with  pain  that  Fritz  Buchstein 
would  not  approach  Gretta  at  all.  Her  feelings 
of  propriety  prevented  her  making  any  advances 
of  friendship,  and  this  fear  on  her  part,  of  being 
too  forward,  almost  put  a  stop  to  all  visiting. 
Old  Buchstein,  who  had  formerly  carried  on  the 
friendly  intercourse  with  such  spirit,  was  now 
quite  restrained  :  Fritz  refused  to  have  any  thing 
to  do  with  Gretta ;  and  the  kind  old  man  did 
not  like  to  force  the  inclinations  of  his  son.  He 
did  not  know  now  what  to  say  to  Mrs.  Bendler, 
with  whom,  formerly,  he  had  had  so  many  con- 
versations on  the  subject,  and  with  whom  he  had 
made  so  many  plans  with  regard  to  Fritz  and 
Gretta.  This  day,  however,  all  these  considera- 
tions must  be  laid  aside  :  Benjamin  must  be  vis- 
ited and  cared  for.  Gretta  went  very  willingly 
to  see  her  old  friend  ;  but  she  could  not  help  feel- 
ing a  little  shy,  for  the  way  to  his  little  dwelling 
lay  through  Fritz's  workshop.  During  the  time 
she  was  making  a  warm  soup  for  him,  she  looked 
at  least  ten  times  out  upon  the  street  to  see  if  she 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  97 

could  discover  any  of  the  neighbors  from  whom 
she  could  make  inquiries  about  the  old  man  ;  at 
length  she  was  fortunate  enough  to  see  the  old 
serving  woman,  and  obtained  from  her  the  desir- 
ed information.  ^ 

"  Benjamin  is  very  ill,"  muttered  the  old  wo- 
man ;  "  but  he  does  not  require  any  thing ;  he 
wishes  to  carry  oft'  his  illness  by  perspiring  in 
bed." 

That  assurance  did  not  deter  Gretta  from 
making  her  preparations :  with  her  little  cup  of 
soup  under  her  cloak,  she  went  over  to  the  old 
shoemaker.  The  sun  shone  so  clearly  into  the 
workshop,  the  ice-flowers  were  somewhat  thaw- 
ed from  the  windows.  Fritz,  in  his  white  shirt 
sleeves  and  black  cloth  vest,  was  working  hard 
with  the  journeymen  and  apprentices.  He  start- 
ed on  seeing  Gretta's  fresh  face  under  the  black 
hood,  but  nevertheless  he  came  forward  in  a 
friendly  manner  and  shook  hands  with  her. 

"  I  wish  to  go  up  to  see  poor  old  Benjamin, 

who  is  ill,"  said  Gretta,  shyly. 
7 


98  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

"  To  poor  old  Benjamin  ! "  repeated  Fritz,  an 
sighed  :  "  yes,  he  is  very  ill,  and  I  have  been  s 
unkind  as  to  forget  him !  Shall  I  carry  the  sou 
up  to  him  ?  "  added  he  softly. 

Gretta  gave  it  to  him ;  then  followed  up  th 
narrow  stair.  Out  of  the  warm  workshop  the; 
entered  an  icy-cold  room :  Benjamin  was  com 
pletely  buried  under  the  feather  covering;  th 
starling  stood  upon  the  table  near  him  lookin, 
very  sad ;  the  bulfinch  tried  in  vain  to  pick  opei 
the  frozen  water  in  his  cage.  "  Poor  shoemaker ! 
called  out  the  starling,  as  the  door  opened- 
"  Poor  shoemaker ! " 

Benjamin's  night-cap  now  moved,  and  hi 
friendly  face  appeared  above  the  mountain  o 
feathers  with  which  he  was  covered. 

"  I  thought  you  would  come,"  said  he  to  Gret 
ta ;  "  and  now,  first  of  all,  feed  my  poor  birds- 
Dolly  is  sulking,  and  has  not  come  near  me  sine* 
yesterday  evening." 

Gretta  looked  for  water,  but  in  vain — all  wa 
solid  ice.    Fritz  saw  what  she  wanted,  and  lef 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  99 

the  room  in  search  of  it ;  and  soon  returned  with 
a  pan  full  of  hot  water,  and  a  shovel  full  of  fire 
to  light  the  stove.  Silently  he  gave  her  the  wa- 
ter— silently  he  made  the  fire,  and  then  watched 
how  she  melted  the  ice  in  the  bird-trough — 
how  she  fed  the  birds — and  how  she  arranged 
Benjamin's  pillows,  and  covered  the  table  before 
his  bed,  and  placed  the  soup  upon  it.  Fritz 
looked  on  softly  and  sadly ;  and  as  Benjamin 
raised  his  eyes  to  ask  a  blessing,  Gretta  and 
Fritz  folded  their  hands  and  prayed  with  him. 
When  Benjamin  ended,  Fritz  went  over  to  him, 
and  taking  his  hand,  said,  "  Forgive  me,  Benja- 
min, that  I  could  thus  have  forgotten  you  ;  I  am 
very,  very  sorry  for  my  neglect." 

Benjamin  took  his  hand  in  both  of  his,  and 
pressed  it  warmly.  Then  Fritz,  turning  to  Gret- 
ta, said,  "  And  you,  too,  Gretta,  must  forgive  me. 
I  feel  ashamed  before  you,  and  before  God,  that 
I  could  be  so  very  cold-hearted,  as  not  even  to 
ask  after  poor  old  Benjamin." 

Just  then  a  stream  of  sunshine  broke  through 


100  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

the  thawing  window,  and  a  stream  of  light  burs 
in  upon  Fritz's  heart.  "  Lord,  thy  will  be  done !' 
— Gretta  stood  before  him  with  her  forgiving 
glance,  so  fresh,  so  friendly,  and  so  pure !  Frit; 
felt  his  future  decided — he  felt  what  the  Lore 
would  have  him  to  do,  and  where  the  Lord  will 
ed  that  he  should  seek  peace  :  the  wild  desire 
of  his  heart  must  be  rooted  out.  He  now  regret 
ted  the  time  he  had  lost,  in  allowing  them  t( 
grow  and  increase ! 

Gretta  bid  her  old  friend  good-by,  but  h( 
made  her  promise  to  come  soon  again  to  see  him 

"  Yes,  I  too  beg  of  you  to  come,"  said  Fritz 
"  not  only  to  see  and  nurse  old  Benjamin :  no 
you  must  come  to  convince  yourself  that  I  hav( 
by  extra  care  and  attention  made  up  for  my  sin 
ful  neglect." 

Benjamin  made  light  of  the  young  man's  for 
getfulness,  considering  it  very  pardonable  ;  Gret 
ta  agreed  with  him,  and  they  went  down  th( 
stairs  together.  Below,  in  the  workshop,  in  or 
der  to  ingratiate  himself,  Fritz  turned  to  Gretti 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  101 

and  said,  "  I  have  long  had  the  intention  of  call- 
ing in  to  see  you — ^but  the  bad  weather — one  is 
quite  snowed  up. 

"  We  have  the  snow  swept  away  from  our  door 
every  day,"  answered  Gretta. 

"  Yes,  I  know  it  is  all  my  own  fault,  continued 
Fritz  ;  and  as  Gretta,  in  passing,  touched  a  half- 
dried  geranium  with  her  finger,  he  became  still 
more  confused.  "  The  poor  flower  has  been  for- 
gotten among  the  rest;  but  it  also  shall  be  attend- 
ed to."  Gretta  drew  in  her  hand  quite  startled, 
for  she  had  no  desire  to  disturb  him  again.  In 
this  feeling,  she  unwillingly  passed  by  a  beer- 
glass,  which  was  standing  on  the  corner  of  the 
stove,  though  her  fingers  itched  to  push  it  back 
only  a  very  little  from  the  edge — for  the  slightest 
touch  would  knock  it  down. 

When  they  were  passing  the  parlor  door,  Fritz 
insisted  on  Gretta  going  in  to  speak  to  his  father : 
the  old  man  was  reposing  in  an  arm-chair,  with 
closed  eyes.  A  bright  sunbeam  rested  on  the 
peaceful  face :  he  opened   his  eyes,  and  seeing 


102  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

Fritz  and  Gretta  standing  before  him,  he  fancied 
that  the  favorite  dream  of  his  life  was  about  tc 
be  accomplished.  His  eyes  brightened.  "Ah, 
Gretta ! "  he  exclaimed,  and  stretched  out  both 
hands  to  meet  her.  Fritz  turned  to  the  window, 
His  father  might  have  been  so  happy — who  car 
tell  how  many  days  he  has  to  count  ?  But  he 
shall  be  happy.  Gretta's  hands  shall  soothe  and 
minister  to  the  evening  of  his  life.  "  Yes !  yes ! '' 
said  his  heart,  and  his  eye  followed  the  sunbeam 
to  the  blue  sky,  and  all  feelings  of  suffering  and 
disappointment  disappeared  from  his  mind. 

Fritz  had  been  particularly  uneasy,  absent,  and 
melancholy  during  the  last  few  days,  but  he  had 
had  good  reason  for  it.  One  afternoon  he  had 
been  to  one  of  the  principal  streets  to  bring  home 
some  new  furniture.  In  the  same  house,  down 
stairs,  there  was  a  bookseller's  shop,  and  when 
Fritz  had  finished  his  business,  he  called  in  to 
look  over  the  books,  which  the  proprietor  saw 
gladly  :  for,  after  reading  over  many  passages 
here  and  there,  he  often  made  a  purchase.    This 


ABOVE    HER  STATION.  103 

day  lie  had  dallied  so  long  that  twilight  at  length 
warned  him  to  return  home.  His  waj  led  past 
the  theater,  which,  in  spite  of  frost  and  snow, 
was  well  lighted,  and  seemed  to  have  many  vis- 
itors. Among  these,  to  his  horror,  he  recognized 
Clara  leaning  on  the  arm  of  a  gentleman.  He 
could  not  resist  trying  to  find  out  who  was  her 
conductor.  After  a  little  going  up  and  down,  he 
succeeded  in  seeing  the  gentleman's  face  :  he  was 
a  very  handsome  young  man,  with  light-hrown 
hair,  and  a  large  moustache.  Chatting  cosily  to- 
gether, the  pair  entered  the  house.  Fritz  follow- 
ed them.  He  felt  ashamed  to  be  seen  there,  but 
could  not  restrain  his  inclination  to  watch 
Clara.  From  the  pit  he  discovered  them  in  a 
half-lighted  box.  Oh,  how  confidential  they 
seemed  together !  He  did  not  stop  long ;  he  had 
soon  seen  enough.  Going  out,  he  asked  the  box- 
keeper  who  was  the  young  man  with  the  mous- 
tache ?  "  Count  Briindel,"  was  the  answer. 
"  Count  Briindel ! "  repeated  Fritz.  That  name 
he  had  often  heard  :  he  was  the  gayest  and  wild- 


104  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

est  young  officer  of  the  garrison.  Clara,  the  be- 
loved of  this  man  !  This  thought  had  occupied 
him  day  and  night  ever  since  Benjamin's  illness ; 
thinking  of  her  horrid  fate  had  driven  every  thing 
else  out  of  his  mind.  But  his  heart-sore  was 
soon  to  be  healed ;  and  he  now  turned  his  whole 
attention  to  considering  what  was  best  to  be 
done,  to  comfort  and  restore  the  poor  old  man  to 
health  again. 

Clara,  however,  did  not  consider  herself  poor. 
No;  rich  beyond  measure,  she  loved  and  was 
beloved — ^j'es,  loved  by  a  man  of  rank  and  prop- 
erty !  How  handsome,  how  fine,  and  gallant  in 
his  manners  was  her  Count !  He  hung  upon  her 
very  looks — she  could  actually  govern  him ! 
When  her  mistress's  son  gave  her  up  so  suddenly, 
she  was,  as  already  intimated,  very  miserable, 
but  she  did  not  give  herself  up  to  despair.  She 
soon  looked  round  for  comfort — her  heart  had 
become  accustomed  to  these  foolish  fancies,  and 
she  was  no  longer  happy  without  an  intrigue  on 
hand.    In  this  disposition  she  received  the  fir&t 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  105 

letter  from  Count  Briindel.  "With  real  delight 
did  she  respond  to  his  advances ;  her  excited  feel- 
ings were  no  longer  governed  by  the  same  pru- 
dent calculation,  as  in  the  case  of  the  medical 
student ;  she  believed  that  this  time  she  must  try 
another  plan,  and  had  the  firm  conviction  that 
she  must  succeed. 

Four  weeks  had  passed  over  in  this  sweet  in- 
toxication. Mrs.  Krauter  had  no  pangs  of  con- 
science about  encouraging  the  intercourse  of  the 
young  people.  The  Count  usually  had  a  well- 
filled  purse :  she  wanted  for  nothing,  and  led  a 
delightful  life ;  and,  besides,  he  had  promised  to 
marry  Clara, — and  both  mother  and  daughter 
were  fools  enough  to  believe  him.  Yes ;  Clara 
had  even  laid  aside  all  her  cleverness  and  cun- 
ning in  this  benumbing  of  her  senses !  She 
thought  not  of  the  future — she  would  not  re- 
member the  past — the  present  was  so  very  sweet. 
She  had  often  been  in  the  theater  with  her 
Count,  and  he  had  promised  to  bring  her  to  a 
fancy-ball  that  was  to  be  given  in  that  locality. 


106  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

That  to  her  seemed  the  very  summit  of  earthly 
pleasures.  For  fourteen  days  before,  she  had 
studied  all  the  books  of  fashions,  rummaged  all 
the  shops  where  masquerade  dresses  were  to  be 
hired.  At  last  she  decided  on  going  as  Diana  ; 
but  for  this  costume  a  green  velvet  scarf  or 
mantle  was  absolutely  necessary,  and  it  would 
be  so  suitable  to  her  slight  figure.  But  where 
was  the  money  to  come  from  to  purchase  it? 
Their  purses  were  all  at  low  ebb :  the  mother 
had  given  sundry  hints  to  the  Count,  to  which, 
however,  he  had  paid  no  attention — for  the  best 
of  all  reasons,  because  his  funds  did  not  happen 
just  then  to  be  in  a  very  flourishing  condition. 
Clara  could  not  borrow  from  any  one,  and  the 
shops  would  no  longer  give  her  credit ;  for  she 
had  petty  debts  in  most  of  them,  besides  owing 
two  dollars  to  Agusta  Yogler.  These  debts  did 
not  trouble  her  much ;  she  could  have  paid  them 
long  ago,  and  would  soon  have  plenty  of  money 
again :  it  was  but  a  temporary  embarrassment. 
She  had  long  given  up  the  idea  of  a  real  velvet 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  107 

scarf;  a  mock  one  would  serve  the  purpose 
equally  well,  and  that  would  cost  but  a  few  dol- 
lars. 

Whilst  making  plans  to  obtain  this  scarf,  the 
evil  one  led  her  constantly  to  think  of  the  little 
box  full  of  money  in  her  mistress's  writing-table. 
Steal  ?  no !  The  very  thought  of  it  horrified 
her.  'Tis  true  her  mistress  would  never  miss  so 
small  a  sum ;  for  she  had  often  thought  over  her 
household  expenses  with  Clara,  when  she  had 
failed  to  note  down  some  item  or  othar,  and  if 
the  account  could  not  be  settled  to  her  mind,  she 
easily  satisfied  herself  that  it  was  an  oversight. 
The  idea  of  borrowing  the  trifling  sum  from  her 
mistress's  money-box,  recurred  to  her  mind  more 
and  more  frequently  as  the  time  for  the  fancy- 
ball  approached.  "  For  a  few  days  at  least,  you 
might  take  the  money :  then  put  it  back  again," 
suggested  the  evil  one ;  and  she  did  not  with- 
stand him.  What  power  had  she  within  her,  to 
withstand  temptation  ?  Her  cleverness ;  and  it 
was  the  only  weapon  she  would  use  to  shield 


108  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

herself  from  sin  and  destruction  —  this  very 
cleverness  it  was  which  prompted  her  to  the 
step.  You  are  only  borrowing  —  you  do  not 
mean  to  steal  the  money,  said  cleverness ;  no 
one  will  know  of  it ;  and  the  green  velvet  scarf 
is  absolutely  necessary  to  secure  you  admiration. 
The  next  morning  she  put  in  practice  the 
cunning  trick  with  regard  to  the  writing-table. 
Her  hand  trembled  as  she  grasped  the  money 
from  the  box,  and  her  heart  palpitated  fearfully. 
But  when  she  displayed  the  scarf  to  advantage 
over  her  shoulders  before  her  mother's  looking- 
glass  in  the  evening,  her  heart  beat  no  longer 
from  fear,  but  from  pride  and  adoration  of  her 
own  grace  and  beauty.  Yes !  and  a  few  even- 
ings after,  as  she  flew  through  the  giddy  mazes 
of  the  ball-room,  leaning  on  the  arm  of  the 
young  Count,  hearing  exclamations  of  admira- 
tion at  every  step,  and  the  Count  congratulated 
as  a  lucky  fellow,  at  being  the  cavalier  of  a 
pearl  so  fair,  her  conscience  became  altogether 
silent.     The  Count  gave  her  a  little  money  in 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  109 

the  evening,  for  she  confessed  to  him  that  she 
had  debts,  as  Agusta  Vogler  was  becoming  im- 
patient to  be  paid.  But  first  of  all,  she  would 
put  back  again  that  which  she  had  taken  from 
her  mistress :  that  was  her  firm  intention. 

However,  as  she  rose  later  than  usual  the  next 
morning,  she  could  not  execute  her  intention, 
and  was  obliged  to  put  off  taking  the  keys  until 
the  morning  after — fatal  delay.  During  the  day 
she  considered  the  matter  over  again.  Her  mis- 
tress had  not  observed  any  thing:  she  was  as 
kind  and  friendly  toward  her  as  ever ;  from  her 
Clara  had  nothing  to  fear.  She  determined, 
therefore,  first,  to  pay  off  her  small  debts  in  the 
shops,  in  order  to  obtain  credit  more  easily  when 
she  needed  it.  As  she  stood  in  the  last  shop 
with  the  remains  of  her  money,  she  discovered, 
with  alarm,  that  the  sum  was  not  sufficient  to 
cover  the  debt.  And  yet  she  had  just  been 
boasting  of  her  power  to  pay  all  she  owed.  The 
foreman  having  made  out  her  account,  handed 
it  to  her  with  the  polite,  but  serious  remark, 


110  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

that  it  was  quite  against  tlie  rules  of  the  house 
to  give  such  large  credit  to  ladies  of  her  rank. 
Clara's  pride  rose  powerfully — the  sum  must  be 
paid  at  all  hazards;  she,  the  future  wife  of  a 
Count,  could  not  brook  such  an  insult.  She 
took  the  account,  and  promised  to  be  back  in 
a  few  moments.  She  went  straight  to  Agusta 
Yogler.  Agusta  must  help  her.  She  promised 
faithfully  to  return  it  the  next  morning  at  ten 
o'clock.  Agusta  was  good-natured — gave  her 
the  money,  but  told  her,  at  the  same  time,  that 
if  she  were  not  paid  punctually  at  the  time  ap- 
pointed, she  would  go  and  make  a  formal  com- 
plaint to  her  mistress.  Clara  went  off"  in  tri- 
umph to  pay  her  bill,  and  remarked  pertly,  that 
there  were  other  shops  where  ladies  of  her  rank 
were  served  most  willingly. 

Then  she  went  to  her  mother's,  and  wrote  a 
letter  to  the  Count,  which  the  old  woman  was  to 
deliver  into  his  own  hands  as  quickly  as  possible. 
It  was  the  first  time  that  Clara  had  demanded 
money:  but  necessity  has  no  law;  and  this,  her 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  Ill 

first  request,  he  surely  could  not  refuse.  "With  a 
beating  heart  she  awaited  the  return  of  her 
mother.  She,  however,  brought  bad  news : — the 
Count  was  not  at  home.  Her  mother  promised 
to  continue  going  to  his  house  until  she  should 
see  him,  and,  if  possible,  to  procure  the  money 
before  ten  o'clock  the  next  day.  The  evening 
and  morning  passed  over,  but  her  mother  did 
not  come.  At  last  she  brought  the  news  that 
the  Count  had  come  home  late  at  night,  and 
had  gone  ofi"  again  somewhere  very  early  in  the 
morning. 

Clara  v*as  in  despair.  Agusta  came  for  her 
money,  but  was  obliged  to  be  contented  with 
many  sacred  promises  of  payment  at  ten  o'clock 
the  next  day.  "  Keed  breaks  iron,"  thought 
Clara.  "  To-morrow  morning  early  I  will  take 
the  money  out  of  the  writing-table ;  if  she  has 
not  remarked  it  once,  I  may  venture  still  an- 
other time  :  it  will  not  be  observed."  The  same 
evening  her  mother  went  again  to  the  Count. 
He  had  not  yet  returned  ;  and  Clara  went  to 


112  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

her  work  the  next  morning  in  a  very  bad  humor. 
This  time  she  was  bolder.  She  had  taken  nearly 
three  dollars,  and  was  in  the  act  of  locking  the 
writing-table,  as  the  door  opened  behind  her, 
and  her  mistress  stepped  in.  Clara  screamed 
aloud.  "  So !  "  said  the  old  lady.  Clara  held 
both  her  hands  before  her  face  —  her  senses 
seemed  to  leave  her. 

"  Clara  !  "  said  the  old  lady,  "  it  is  now  eight 
days  since  I  observed  that  some  one  had  been  at 
my  money-box ;  but  as  I  was  not  quite  sure  of 
it,  I  said  nothing  about  it,  and  you  are  the  very 
last  person  I  would  have  suspected  of  being  the 
thief." 

'•  Thief!"  sobbed  Clara;  "I  never  intended  to 
steal.  I  would  have  put  all  the  money  back 
again." 

"  Foolish  reasoning  that ! "  replied  her  mis- 
tress, angrily.  "  You  have  stolen,  and  in  the 
most  abominable  manner  taken  advantage  of 
the  confidence  which  I  placed  in  you  ;  and  noth- 
ing can  now  save  you  from  a  public  trial,  unless 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  113 

you  confess  the  whole  truth  to  me,  and  your 
reasons  for  the  crime.  And,  above  all,  I  must 
now  make  strict  inquiries  about  your  conduct 
and  manner  of  living ;  for  very  strange  reports 
have  been  going  abroad  about  you  for  the  last 
few  weeks." 

Clara  was  in  a  most  awful  predicament !  All 
pride  and  self-conceit  had  disappeared.  Sin 
makes  one  cowardly — fear  was  treading  upon 
her  heels.  It  was  fear  that  so  completely  cut  up 
Clara's  whole  being.  She  thought  of  her  love 
for  the  Count ;  it  was  her  foolish  love  for  him 
that  had  made  a  thief  of  her — she  thought  of 
her  friends,  of  her  Aunt  Rieka.  Yes ;  she  con- 
fessed, she  described  her  exalted  love  for  the 
Count.  "  If  he  had  not  been  on  a  journey,  I 
would  not  have  taken  the  money:  indeed,  on 
the  contrary,  I  would  have  put  back  the  sum 
which  I  had  already  taken.  His  love  is  so  great 
for  me :  all  that  belongs  to  him  is  mine ;  yes,  he 
has  even  promised  to  marry  me ! " 

Her  mistress  replied  that  she  was  a  poor  de- 
8 


114  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

ceived  girl ;  but  that  such  was  the  fate  of  all  the 
light-minded  and  frivolous.  "And  even  were 
the  Count  fool  enough  to  marry  you,  how  would 
he  he  considered  by  the  officers  of  his  regiment  ? 
How  would  a  girl  like  you  he  received  in  society?" 

At  these  words,  Clara  stared  at  the  speaker. 
"  A  girl  like  me  ?  "  asked  she  softly. 

"  Yes,  like  you?"  repeated  the  old  lady. 
"You  have  been  seen  walking  in  the  streets 
after  dark — ^you  are  talked  of  in  the  town  as  a 
giddy  coquette,  and  the  young  Count  is  not  your 
first  love." 

Clara  reddened.  Did  her  mistress  then  know 
about  the  medical  student  ?  or  was  she  only  try- 
ing to  find  out  the  whole  truth  ?  At  any  other 
time  she  would  have  stoutly  denied  all  the 
charges — now,  however,  fear  ruled  her;  there- 
fore to  this  charge  she  preserved  silence,  and 
to  beganbeg  Madame  von  Trautstein's  forgive- 
ness for  the  fault,  as  she  called  the  taking  of  the 
money. 

Madame  von  Trautstein  gave  her  a  long  lee- 


•^5*«<»^WPWI^B»' 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  115 

ture :  represented  to  her  the  misery  she  was 
bringing  upon  herself  by  her  present  mode  of 
life  ;  and  drew  a  picture  of  the  future,  very  dif- 
ferent from  that  painted  by  Clara's  imagination 
for  herself.  But,  at  the  same  time,  the  kind  con- 
siderate lady  promised  not  to  say  a  word  of  the 
affair  to  any  one,  and  also  to  keep  Clara  quietly 
in  her  service  till  Easter.  And  as  she  would, 
perhaps,  be  too  weak  of  herself  to  break  off  the 
connection  with  the  Count,  it  shall  come  from  his 
side,  "  for,"  said  the  old  lady,  "  I  shall  take  care 
that  he  shall  know  to  what  a  pitch  of  folly  and 
crime  his  levity  has  brought  a  poor  unfortunate 
girl.  He  shall  learn  that,  in  order  to  adorn  her- 
self to  please  him,  she  has  stooped  to  steal ! " 

These  last  words  brought  Clara  almost  to  the 
verge  of  distraction  !  She  entreated — she  begged 
— but  in  vain  ;  her  mistress  remained  firm  to  her 
determination,  and  Clara  was  obliged  to  leave 
the  room  in  despair.  The  first  thing,  however, 
which  she  did,  was  to  sit  down  and  write  to  the 
Count  herself.     She  described  to  him  her  misery, 


116  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

her  love,  her  despair,  if  lie  should  desert  her. 
She  bathed  the  letter  with  tears,  so  that  the 
writing  was  scarcely  legible,  and  just  as  she  had 
sealed  it,  her  mother  came  in. 

"  You  are  like  an  angel  from  heaven ! "  said 
Clara  ;  "  you  must  go  and  carry  this  letter  to  the 
Count!" 

"  It  is  not  necessary,"  said  the  mother,  smiling, 
"  I  have  the  money  already." 

"  Oh ! "  stammered  Clara ;  "  then  it  was  not 
necessary ! "  She  covered  her  face  with  her 
hands,  and  wept  bitterly.  If  she  had  waited  but 
one  hour,  then  all  this  misfortune  would  not  have 
happened  to  her ! 

The  mother  was  at  her  wit's  end  about  the  dis- 
tress of  her  daughter :  she  inquired,  she  comfort- 
ed, she  related  how  that,  late  yesterday  evening, 
she  had  gone  to  the  Count,  and  not  finding  him 
at  home,  had  gone  back  to  him  early  this  morn- 
ing and  found  him  in  bed,  and  made  him  hand 
out  the  money.    He  grumbled  a  little  (added  the 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  117 

mother),  and  said  that  their  demands  were  more 
than  he  could  afford. 

"  Did  he  say  that  ?  "  answered  Clara,  with  pas- 
sion. "  0  take  him  back  his  money,  and  my  let- 
ter along  with  it ;  and  tell  him  that  I  desire 
nothing  more  than  his  love,  and  that  he  shall 
answer  me  immediately.  But  go  quickly,  moth- 
er, and  come  quickly  back  again." 

Her  mother  could  not  understand  a  word  of 
all  this  :  she  shook  her  head,  for  she  knew  that 
Agusta  Vogler  would  come  back  to  look  for 
her  money,  and  that  she  would  make  a  fine 
noise  if  she  got  none.  She  tried  to  talk  over 
her  daughter.  "  You  lovers,"  said  she,  "  you 
quarrel  and  make  needless  misery  for  yourselves. 
Do  you  quietly  take  the  money,  pay  your  debt, 
and  I  will  invite  him  to  come  in  the  evening, 
and  you  can  again  be  friends  together.  Clara, 
do  not  let  love  blind  you  !  The  gay  young 
Count  will  slip  away  from  you  some  day,  just  as 
the  young  lawyer  did  from  me." 

Clara  would  have  made  an  angry  unbelieving 


118  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

reply,  but  some  one  tapped  at  the  door.  "Agus- 
ta  ! "  said  she  faintly,  and  glanced  unwillingly  at 
the  money  in  her  mother's  hand. 

"  Shall  I  pay  her  ?"  said  the  latter. 

"  Yes,"  replied  Clara,  sighing,  "  pay  her !  pay 
her!  but  go  outside  the  door,  and  tell  her  I 
am  ill." 

The  mother  did  as  she  was  asked,  and  the  af- 
fair was  soon  settled.  Kow  the  only  thing  to  be 
done  was  to  take  Clara's  letter  to  the  Count.  She 
promised  not  to  come  back  without  an  answer, 
but  was  obliged  to  do  so,  notwithstanding  Clara's 
anxiety;  for  the  Count  was  on  duty,  and  Mrs. 
Krauter  was  requested  to  return  in  the  afternoon. 
Clara  passed  some  hours  of  misery :  she  had 
lain  down  upon  her  bed,  in  order  to  avoid  seeing 
any  one.  Here  she  listened  to  every  footstep 
upon  the  stairs.  She  imagined  the  most  extra- 
ordinary things  to  herself.  "When  he  would  read 
her  letter,  his  heart  would  melt — he  would  not  be 
able  to  think  of  her  misfortune — he  would  come 
himself  to  her — he  would  brave  the  world — her 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  119 

mistress — and  would  himself  comfort  her,  and 
help  her  out  of  this  confusion.  But  how  did 
she  feel  when  her  mother  came  to  her  in  the 
twilight  with  the  cold  answer !  The  Count  was 
very  angry  ;  he  had  spoken  of  a  second  letter,  of 
very  great  want  of  foresight,  and  of  almost  in- 
sufFerahle  annoyances  :  he  must  think  over  the 
affair,  and  the  next  day  he  would  send  his  an- 
swer. That  was  a  death-blow  to  Clara !  She 
felt  in  such  a  night  of  misfortune,  that  she  could 
not  even  think — she  could  only  feel  that  her  hap- 
piness with  the  Count  was  at  an  end.  She  re- 
mained in  [bed  the  next  morning ;  for  she  could 
do  nothing  but  weep,  and  could  not  endure  wit- 
nesses to  her  grief.  Sometimes  she  had  a  faint 
glimmering  of  hope ;  her  mother  might  still 
bring  a  letter  of  comfort — she  looked  back  a  few 
days  when  his  love  was  so  sincere,  his  promises 
of  eternal  fidelity  so  sacred ;  but  she  did  not 
consider  that  these  endearments  are  but  tempta- 
tions of  the  evil  one,  which,  like  soap-bubbles, 
are  blown  away  and  forgotten.     She  belonged  to 


120  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

the  thousands  of  foolish  young  women  who  put 
faith  in  such  promises. 

However,  she  was  not  left  long  in  uncertainty. 
Her  mother  came  with  the  letter,  and  it  was 
written  like  a  thousand  others  on  similar  occa- 
sions. It  still  contained  assurances  of  the  warm- 
est affection,  but  one  must  succumb  to  necessity, 
duty,  and  honor,  even  should  one's  heart  be 
lacerated  in  the  struggle.  Clara  read  and  wept ; 
and  wept  and  read  again ;  and  remained  the  en- 
tire day  in  bed.  She  had  sufficient  sense  remain- 
ing to  keep  for  herself  the  largest  half  of  the 
gold-pieces  sent  by  the  Count,  and  only  gave  the 
smaller  portion  to  her  mother. 


CHAPTEK  VI. 

MARCH  had  come,  the  snow  was  melted,  and 
the  warm  spring  sun  shone  upon  the  busy 
streets.  Clara  had  not  been  out  of  the  house  for 
fourteen  days  :  she  made  the  excuse  of  being  ill, 
but,  in  reality,  she  feared  to  meet  any  of  her  ac- 
quaintances, especially  her  Aunt  Rieka.  In  the 
mean  time,  her  mother  was  obliged  to  acquaint 
her  aunt  with  the  intention  of  leaving  her  situa- 
tion, and  to  give  as  a  reason  that  so  much  sitting 
over  her  sewing  did  not  agree  with  her  health  ; 
and,  therefore,  she  had  been  looking  for  an- 
other service  where  she  would  have  more  exer- 
cise. 

One  day  Clara  was  out  on  an  errand  for  her 
mistress.    It  was  a  fine  sunny  day,  the  children 


122  ABOVE   HER   STATION. 

were  playing  merrily  in  the  streets,  and  she 
heard  the  sound  of  a  military  band  from  the  pa- 
rade-ground. But  she  felt  sad  and  exasperated — 
the  very  happiness  and  gayety  of  all  around  was 
disagreeable  to  her ;  and  it  was  still  more  disa- 
greeable to  her  to  see  her  Aunt  Rieka  approach- 
ing: she  could  not  avoid  her,  therefore  she  had 
to  prepare  herself  for  a  serious  conversation. 
Her  aunt,  however,  was  not  so  bad  as  she 
feared. 

"  You  look  very  pale,"  said  she  to  her,  with 
sympathy  ;  "  you  must  have  been  very  ill." 

Clara  explained  as  well  as  she  was  able,  and 
added,  "  that  the  new  service  in  the  Hotel  Rein- 
hard  would  be  more  suitable  for  her." 

"  But  a  hotel ! "  said  her  aunt. 

"  I  shall  have  nothing  to  do  with  the  serving 
in  the  hotel,"  replied  Clara.  "  I  am  to  be  the 
housekeeper — have  the  care  of  the  coffee,  sugar, 
and  house-linen,  and  send  the  breakfast  to  the 
rooms ;  and  for  this  I  shall  receive  nine  pounds, 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  123 

and  many  presents  besides."  She  found  no 
difficulty  in  tranquilizing  her  aunt. 

Thus  conversing  together  they  reached  Mrs. 
Bendler's  house,  and  Clara  was  obliged  to  go 
in.  Gretta  stood  in  the  room  winding  yarn 
from  her  spinning-wheel.  "  "What  a  tiresome 
job  is  this,  when  the  sun  is  shining  so  brightly, 
and  all  nature  seems  to  invite  one  into  the  fresh 
air !  "  said  she ;  "  but  this  is  the  last  one,  and  we 
shall  make  an  end  of  spinning."  Saying  these 
words  she  bent  over  a  flower-pot  of  blooming 
snow-drops,  as  if  the  very  sight  of  them  gave 
her  new  strength  to  work. 

"  From  whom  have  you  received  those  beauti- 
ful flowers?"  asked  Clara. 

"  From  Benjamin,"  replied  Gretta,  and  blush- 
ed; for  she  knew  that  Fritz  Buchstein  had 
planted  them :  and  it  was  that  which  enhanced 
their  value  in  her  eyes. 

"  Benjamin  is  now  well  again  :  he  reared  them 
in  his  room ;  and,  when  they  flowered,  he  was 
kind  enough  to  present  them  to  me.     Only  look 


124  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

at  the  white  blossoms — how  pure  and  tender 
they  are,  and  how  modestly  they  bend  their 
heads.  I  know  of  no  flower  that  I  prefer  to  the 
snow-drop ;  and  Benjamin  could  not  have  given 
me  a  greater  pleasure." 

Clara  agreed  with  her,  as  far  as  words  went ; 
but  her  heart  was  sad — she  could  not  take  pleas- 
ure in  flowers. 

"Kow  I  have  finished  !"  said  Gretta,  joyfully: 
"Come,  Clara,  and  help  me  to  sow  peas  and 
salad.  It  is  such  a  pleasure  to  have  every  thing 
early  in  the  season."  She  put  on  her  garden- 
bonnet,  took  the  seeds,  and  preceded  her  mother 
and  Clara.  The  sky  was  light-blue  —  white 
spring  clouds  passed  over  it ;  the  earth  was  fresh 
and  brown  ;  the  violets  began  to  open  their  silk- 
en leaves;  the  gooseberry  bushes  had  a  green 
shade;  the  birds  were  singing,  the  sparrows 
twittering,  and  the  doves  cooing,  on  the  house- 
tops ;  and  in  the  neighbors'  gardens  they  were 
working  and  singing:  all  nature  seemed  alive. 
Benjamin  also  looked  out  of  his  window,  with 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  126 

the  starling  upon  his  shoulder,  which  kept  cry- 
ing, "  Miss  Gretta  so  right !  "  Gretta  answered, 
"That  he  should  keep  silent ;  for  his  ugly  voice 
did  not  suit  the  spring."  Benjamin,  however, 
whispered  something  to  the  bird,  and  it  im- 
mediately commenced  screaming,  "  Rascal ! 
rogue ! "  at  such  a  rate  that  even  Fritz  Buch- 
stein  opened  his  workshop-window,  and  begged 
for  quietness.  He  also  came  into  the  garden, 
and  looked  over  the  paling  at  Gretta  sowing  her 
seed.  Clara  being  there  was  also  an  attraction  to 
him  ;  he  was  no  longer  bashful  before  her.  ^o ; 
the  Lord  had  heard  his  prayer,  and  given  him 
peace  in  his  heart :  he  only  felt  a  pitying  sym- 
pathy now  for  the  poor  unfortunate  girl.  Her 
love  affair  with  the  Count  was  pretty  well 
known  to  him.  If  her  misfortunes  would  only 
have  the  effect  of  making  her  repent !  thought 
he :  her  paleness  and  quietness  gave  him  hopes 
for  her. 

But  Gretta  did  not  leave  him  long  to  these 
thoughts:  she  was   so  fresh   and  so  lively,  hia 


126  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

heart  rejoiced  over  her.  As  Benjamin  was 
laughing  at  the  crooked  furrows  she  was 
digging  to  sow  her  peas  in,  Fritz  jumped  over 
the  paling,  and  took  upon  himself  the  office  of 
marking  the  lines  for  the  pea-furrows.  Mrs. 
Bendler  stood  by,  quite  happy;  and  old  Buch- 
Btein,  who  stood  leaning  on  his  staff,  enjoying 
the  warm  spring  sunshine,  seemed  to  warm  him- 
self still  more,  looking  at  his  happy  son  by  the 
side  of  the  good  Gretta. 

Clara  was  utterly  miserable  between  this 
happy  pair.  Fritz  Buchstein  loves  Gretta  — 
that  is  all  right :  Gretta  looks  almost  pretty  to- 
day. And  Fritz !  she  had  long  ago  thought 
him  too  good  for  Gretta.  In  this  disposition 
she  almost  repented  having  treated  Fritz  so 
scornfully.  That  he  had  first  loved  her,  she  felt 
too  certain ;  and  now,  that  the  good  fortune 
which  she  had  planned  for  herself  with  the  great 
world  had  failed,  she  could  have  accepted  a 
Fritz,  with  his  comfortable  little  freehold,  and 
money-making  trade.      Of  course,  in  order  to 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  127 

possess  such  a  husband,  she  must  become  a 
pious,  industrious,  orderly  girl,  like  Gretta, 
whispered  an  inward  voice  to  her:  conscience 
was  roused ;  tears  flowed  over  her  pale  cheeks. 


CHAPTER  VII. 

A  FEW  months  more  had  passed  over ;  the 
summer  was  splendid.  Gretta  took  great 
delight  in  her  trees,  her  flowers,  particularly  her 
roses.  Fritz  had  also  planted,  and  sowed  flow- 
ers, that  all  looked  gay  together.  Old  Ben- 
jamin took  great  pleasure  in  quizzing  the  young 
people  in  many  ways ;  but  after  a  fine  warm 
summer  rain,  they  were  very  much  surprised  to 
see  an  F  and  a  G  entwined  together,  growing  up 
in  fresh  green  cress.  He  taught  his  starling  a 
new  sentence,  and  his  bullfinch  sang  more  beau- 
tifully than  ever;  "  Bless  the  Lord,  0  my  soul ! " 
Clara's  tears  'were  also  dried  up ;  the  bloom 
had  returned  to  her  cheeks.  The  hotel-life 
pleased   her  mightily.      She  was   admired  and 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  129 

flattered  by  the  strangers  who  came  and  went. 
She  knew  well  that  this  would  have  no  influ- 
ence on  her  future  life  —  for  they  were  only 
strangers,  who,  after  a  few  days,  would  be  away 
again,  and  merely  wished  to  amuse  themselves. 
She  was,  therefore,  very  retiring  in  her  manner, 
and,  above  all  things,  would  not  have  any  thing 
whatever  to  do  with  men  of  rank.  Her  fancy 
had  descended  from  the  heights  of  romance  to 
the  realities  of  life.  K"ow,  her  desires  were  lim- 
ited to  a  small  dwelling,  provided  the  man, 
whom  she  would  select  for  a  husband,  had  an 
afiectionate  heart,  and  a  little  education.  And 
such  a  man  she  soon  found.  He  was  the  head- 
waiter  of  the  hotel.  His  education  was  blame- 
less—  he  spoke  English  and  French  —  always 
went  dressed  in  a  black  coat  and  white  cravat ; 
and  he  had  something  particularly  fine  and 
gentleman-like  in  his  manners.  It  happened 
very  well  for  Mr.  Edward  that  she  had  already 
sufiered  shipwreck  in  her  love  affairs,  for  he  was 

not  long  kept  in  suspense.     Naturally,  he  had 
9 


130  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

fully  explained  his  position  to  her  before  she 
committed  herself.  They  might  marry  at  once, 
as  he  had  saved  a  considerable  sum,  and  his 
wages  were  very  high ;  but  he  was  striving  after 
a  hotel  of  his  own.  His  experience,  and  the 
number  of  friends  he  had,  would  make  it  an 
easy  matter  for  him  to  conduct  such  an  establish- 
ment ;  indeed,  he  had  been  making  inquiries  al- 
ready for  a  suitable  locality.  He  depicted  a 
glorious  future  to  Clara.  She,  as  mistress  of  the 
hotel,  would  lead  the  life  of  a  princess ;  could 
rule  and  regulate  just  as  she  pleased.  Poor 
Clara  had  completely  forgotten  the  past,  and 
stepped  forward  again  most  courageously  and 
self-contented,  in  her  plans  for  the  future.  The 
tenth  of  August,  Clara's  birthday,  was  the  one 
fixed  on  for  the  public  betrothal.  The  bride- 
groom had  presented  her  with  a  rose-colored  satin 
bonnet,  and  black  satin  mantilla  for  the  occasion. 
Both  lay  upon  the  sofa  in  her  room,  beside  a 
real  cambric  handkerchief  and  lemon-colored 
kid-gloves.      It    was    the   evening    before   the 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  131 

eventful  day  that  was  to  seal  her  fate  for  life ; 
she  was  sitting  thinking  over  various  matters  in 
the  dark,  for  it  was  already  late,  when  through 
the  chink  of  her  half-opened  door,  she  heard 
voices  whispering  in  the  corridor.  "  So  he  will 
have  tea  :  make  it  then !  He  is  drunk  ;  hut  has 
still  that  much  sense  left  to  know  what  is  the 
matter  with  him,  and  what  will  do  him  good." 

"  He  is  a  well-seasoned  cask ! "  answered  the 
other  voice ;  "  any  other  decent  man  would  he 
drunk  the  entire  day,  if  he  took  as  much  liquor 
as  that  man  contrives  to  swallow." 

"  And  he  is  an  arch  rogue  besides,"  said  the 
first  voice  :  "  he  pockets  at  least  a  hundred  dol- 
lars every  month,  and  the  old  ass  does  not  ob- 
serve it,  but  confides  in  him  as  if  he  were  his 
most  faithful  friend." 

The  voices  died  away  in  the  distance.  Clara 
was  quite  excited.  Whom  could  they  mean? 
"Who  was  the  rogue  and  drunkard  ?  A  horrible 
presentiment  took  possession  of  her  mind.  Could 
it  be  her  Edward  ?     Several  times  already  had 


132  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

ehe  found  the  smell  of  wine  or  spirits  on  him ; 
and  when  she  rebuked  him  about  it,  he  merely 
laughed,  and  said,  he  would  be  a  bad  hotel- 
waiter  if  he  did  not  taste  the  wine  now  and 
then,  adding,  that  with  the  heavy  duties  he  had 
upon  his  shoulders,  it  was  absolutely  necessary 
at  times  for  him  to  take  a  drop  to  strengthen 
him.  But  Clara  had  never  observed  the  slight- 
est approach  to  drunkenness ;  therefore,  she  be- 
gan to  console  herself  that  the  speakers  could 
not  possibly  mean  him.  And  the  accusation  of 
roguery !  that,  of  course,  could  not  be  meant 
for  her  bridegroom,  for  he  both  spoke  and  acted 
so  nobly.  Sometimes,  indeed,  there  was  a  mix- 
ture of  levity  in  his  conversation ;  and  of  his 
former  life,  or  his  moral  state,  she  knew  and  in- 
quired nothing.  Thereupon  her  conscience  re- 
minded her  that  her  own  conduct  with  regard 
to  morality  and  honesty  had  not  been  too  strict ; 
even  though  it  was  hidden  from  the  world. 
This,  that  people  knew  of  it  that  two  waiters 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  133 

could  talk  about  it,  was  the  most  disagreeable 
part  of  the  whole  aftair. 

Determined  to  learn  the  grounds  of  this  con- 
versation, and  remove  all  doubts  from  her  mind, 
she  left  the  room. 

In  passing,  she  turned  the  handle  of  her 
bridegroom's  chamber:  that  was  locked.  She 
went  into  the  saloon :  he  was  not  there.  Then 
she  went  into  the  kitchen,  and  inquired  for 
whom  the  tea  was  making?  "For  Mr.  Ed- 
ward," replied  the  cook,  quite  frankly.  The 
waiter,  who  was  standing  with  the  cup  and  tray, 
winked  most  expressively  to  the  cook,  at  these 
words. 

Clara  was  obliged  to  put  very  great  restraint 
upon  her  feelings,  in  order  to  hide  her  emotion  : 
she  could  find  no  rest  that  night.  How  dread- 
ful if  he  is  a  drunkard !  She  remembered  how 
very  miserable  her  own  father  had  made  her 
mother,  through  drink ;  and  there  were  living 
examples  enough  on  all  sides  to  deter  the 
stoutest  heart.     Even  old  Vogler,  who  usually 


134  ABOVE   HER   STATION. 

let  the  women  do  as  tliey  liked  in  the  house, 
when  he  came  home  drunk,  thought  very  little 
of  beating  his  sick  wife  and  beloved  daughter. 
Drink  is  a  horrible  curse — it  reduces  a  human 
being  below  the  level  of  the  brutes.  And  how 
shall  it  be  with  the  hotel?  Are  his  promises 
and  protestations  true?  All  these  thoughts  and 
fears  tormented  Clara  during  the  wakeful  hours 
of  that  long  night,  and,  strange  to  say,  when 
she  did  drop  asleep,  Fritz  Buchstein  and  her 
Aunt  Rieka  stood  beside  her,  with  their  serious 
faces  and  reproving  words;  so  that  her  very 
dreams  were  uneasy.  If  the  great  and  just  God, 
of  whom  they  talk  so  much,  should  be  about  to 
punish  her  for  her  levity  and  wickedness  —  if 
her  aunt's  proverb  should  at  last  turn  out  to 
be  true — "  As  you  sow,  you  shall  reap  ?  "  But 
what  was  she  to  do  now?  Withdraw  from 
her  engagement !  that  would  be  impossible :  she 
would  lose  her  good  name,  and  all  hope  o*f 
establishing  herself  for  the  future.  And  besides, 
Edward  would  not  give  her  up :  he  loves  her  so 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  135 

well,  and  she  loves  him  too  much.  Yes !  that 
is  her  consolation.  This  love  must  improve 
him,  even  should  he  have  grave  faults.  Oh, 
how  elevating  is  the  thought !  He  is  so  soft — so 
yielding ;  she  can  turn  him  round  her  finger : 
his  affection  is  so  strong ;  he  will  do  every  thing 
for  her — she  will  make  quite  a  pattern  husband 
of  him  !  This  thought  has  already  made  many 
an  unfortunate  wife.  She  will  improve  him — 
she  will  change  him  !  she  trusts  far  too  much  to 
her  own  strength.  Such  love  has  never  yet 
changed  any  man ;  and  the  more  feebly  he  gives 
himself  up  now  to  the  government  of  his  pas- 
sion for  her,  so  much  the  more  feebly  will  he  re- 
turn to  his  former  sins  when  the  novelty  will  be 
worn  off*.  In  order  to  change  a  man,  another 
power  is  needed;  even  the  power  from  on  high. 
Clara,  however,  had  consoled  herself  with 
these  thoughts  ;  and  as  Edward  appeared  before 
her  the  next  morning  with  his  usual  grace  and 
activity,  she  again  took  courage.  But  she  was 
determined  to  acquaint  him  with  the  whispered 


136  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

conversation  she  had  heard — ^it  would  be  a  good 
warning  to  him  for  the  future ;  and  besides,  she 
obtained  a  sort  of  power  over  him,  by  knowing 
his  faults.  She  related  it,  however,  in  such  a 
manner  as  if  she  believed  it  utterly  impossible 
for  him  to  be  guilty  of  the  like ;  but  she  took 
care  to  relate  every  word  which  she  had  over- 
heard. Edward  was  very  much  confused,  and 
as  red  as  fire ;  but  he  covered  his  confusion  by 
a  torrent  of  angry  words;  he  would  make  a 
complaint  of  the  fellow — he  would  find  means 
to  stop  his  envious  tongue,  etc.,  etc.  But  he 
was  really  very  glad  that  Clara  could  not  name 
the  speakers,  because  a  serious  examination  just 
then  would  have  been  most  disagreeable  to  him 
for  many  reasons.  The  accusation  of  drunken- 
ness he  explained  away,  by  telling  Clara,  that 
he  had  been  drawing  off  wine,  and  that  the 
cold  air  of  the  cellar,  after  the  close  air  of  the 
crowded  saloon,  had  aftected  him  so  much  that 
he  had  become  light-headed  and  faint.  Oh, 
how  well  he  acted  the  enraged  man,  who  was 


ABOVE   HKR  STATION.  13T 

falsely  accused — so  well,  that  Clara  had  to  use 
the  sweetest  words  in  order  to  pacify  him ;  but 
he  allowed  himself  to  be  pacified,  and  both  par- 
ties crushed  their  mutual  feelings  of  fear  and 
anxiety  with  afiectionate  words. 

Toward  noon,  they  walked  to  her  Aunt 
Kieka's,  and  Clara  had  the  pleasure  of  seeing 
every  one  staring  after  her — truly  a  handsome 
pair!  He  looked  at  least  like  a  baronet,  and 
she  not  less  fine. 

What  will  the  home-bred  Gretta  say  ?  Fritz 
Buchstein?  Gretta  will  be  stupidly  embarrass- 
ed before  the  grand  gentleman,  and  Aunt  Rieka 
will  make  a  very  low  courtesy. 

But  she  deceived  herself  greatly.  Aunt  Rieka 
was  certainly  very  much  astonished  to  see  Clara 
hanging  on  the  arm  of  a  strange  man ;  and, 
when  she  introduced  him  as  her  bridegroom, 
looked  very  serious  indeed.  Gretta  examined 
him  earnestly,  and  then  looked  at  him  very 
angrily.  He  appeared  very  much  put  out  of 
countenance  at  these  looks,  and  turned  away. 


138  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

Clara  observed  all  this,  and  could  not  under- 
stand what  it  meant.  Her  aunt  was  the  first  to 
break  this  painful  silence. 

"  Clara,  I  did  think  you  would  have  placed 
more  confidence  in  us  on  such  an  important  oc- 
casion," said  she,  with  a  slight  tone  of  reproach. 

Clara  excused  herself  by  saying,  "  The  whole 
affair  came  on  so  quickly,  that  I  was  myself  sur- 
prised." The  bridegroom  had  by  this  time  re- 
covered himself,  and  now  acted  the  oficnded 
guest. 

"  I  hope  that  you  have  nothing  to  say  against 
me,"  said  he,  angrily ;  "  and  that  I  shall  be  a 
welcome  nephew  to  you  ?  My  position  is  such, 
that  I  feel  no  hesitation  in  ofi[ering  myself  to 
your  niece." 

"I  beg  your  pardon,  Mr.  Giinther,"  replied 
the  aunt,  quietly ;  "  I  merely  wished  that  Clara 
had  placed  more  confidence  in  me,  her  near 
relative.  I  can  have  nothing  at  all  against  you 
personally,  for  you  are  altogether  unknown  to 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  139 

me ;  as  neither  myself  nor  my  daughter  have 
ever  heard  your  name." 

"I  know  the  gentleman  well,"  answered 
Gretta,  softly,  but  with  a  slight  accent  upon 
her  words. 

"I  was  not  aware  of  the  acquaintance," 
stammered  Edward :  "  perhaps  in  passing — per- 
haps in  the  theater,  or  a  coffee-garden ! " 

Gretta  shook  her  head,  and  remained  silent. 
Edward  passed  this  over  lightly,  and  began  a 
sort  of  lively  conversation,  which,  however,  he 
had  to  sustain  for  the  most  part  himself,  as 
Aunt  Rieka  and  the  two  girls  were  rather 
silent.  At  length,  to  the  great  relief  of  all  par- 
ties, the  visit  drew  to  an  end. 

Once  upon  the  street,  Edward  could  no  longer 
contain  his  rage.  "  You  must  promise  me  this," 
said  he  angrily  to  Clara,  "  to  have  nothing  more 
to  do  with  those  people  !  I  cannot  allow  you  to 
associate  with  such  low  vulgar  relations,  whose 
manners  are  so  rough.  They  have  treated  me 
shamefully  ;  and  what  that  goose  Gretta  means. 


140  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

or  what  she  has  against  me,  I  cannot  under- 
stand!" 

Clara  was  confounded :  she  scarcely  knew 
where  she  stood.  Where  was  the  grand  triumph 
which  she  had  expected  !  She  plainly  felt  that 
she  was  rather  pitied  and  envied  by  Gretta — for 
which  there  must  be  some  hidden  reason  ;  and  it 
was  actually  horrible  to  her,  that  her  aunt  had 
shown  so  very  little  pleasure  or  admiration  for 
her  Jine  gentleman  bridegroom.  She  felt  ready  to 
weep,  and  yet  was  obliged  to  restrain  her  own 
feelings,  in  order  to  pacify  her  enraged  bride- 
groom. 

That  happened  to  be  a  very  busy  day  in  the 
hotel,  so  that  the  bridal  pair  had  found  little  or 
no  time  for  explanations,  which  pleased  Clara 
very  much.  She  only  waited  a  suitable  time  to 
go  to  her  aunt's,  and  inquire  what  it  was  they 
had  against  Edward;  and  when  he  was  occupied 
in  attendance  on  the  crowded  dinner-tables,  she 
executed  her  intention.  Her  aunt  and  Gretta 
were   sitting   quietly  in  the  little   parlor.     She 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  141 

hardly  knew  how  to  begin  her  interrogations ; 
but  at  last  summoned  courage,  and  asked  them 
if  they  knew  any  thing  to  the  discredit  of  her 
bridegroom  ?  Gretta  hung  her  head,  and  seem- 
ed unwilling  to  answer. 

"  Clara,"  began  her  aunt,  "  first  of  all,  you 
must  fully  understand  that  we  have  nothing  but 
your  good  at  heart ; "  and  taking  Clara's  hand, 
she  looked  most  affectionately  into  her  face. 

Clara  was  a  light-minded  girl,  but  she  had 
still  some  feeling  left  for  the  voice  of  truth ;  and 
returning  the  pressure  of  her  aunt's  hand,  she 
replied,  "  I  do  believe  you." 

Aunt  Rieka  inquired:  "Are  you  intimately 
acquainted  with  your  bridegroom?" 

"I  know  him  since  I  have  been  in  the  hotel," 
answered  Clara.  "  I  know,  also,  that  he  is  the 
master  of  the  house,  and  that  he  is  the  support 
of  the  entire  business,  for  the  old  man  leaves  all 
in  his  hands;  and  he  intends  very  shortly  to 
open  a  hotel  of  his  own.  He  has  connections, 
property,   and    is  besides  well    educated  —  has 


142  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

most  polished  manners,  and  is  universally  liked 
by  all  who  come  in  and  out  of  the  hotel." 

"  That  is  all  very  well,"  replied  her  aunt ; 
"hut  these  are  after  all  mere  outward  attrac- 
tions, and  he  might,  in  spite  of  them  all,  render 
you  most  unhappy.  Do  you  know  whether  he 
is  a  brave  upright  man  :  one  who  will  fear  God 
more  than  men?" 

"  Of  course,  I  hope  he  is  an  upright  man,  and 
I  have  no  reason  to  believe  otherwise ;  and  if 
you  or  Gretta  know  any  thing  bad  of  him,  it  is 
your  duty  to  acquaint  me  at  once." 

These  words  pleased  her  aunt ;  she  thought 
Clara  was  most  anxious  about  the  probity  and 
uprightness  of  her  bridegroom  ;  but  it  was  only 
burning  curiosity  to  hear  what  it  was  they  had 
against  him.  Her  pride  was  humbled  :  she  felt 
angry  with  herself,  and  with  all  the  world  be- 
side. 

"I  will  now  relate  to  you  what  we  know 
about  your  bridegroom,"  said  her  aunt,  "and 
then  you  can  consider  what  your  best  course  of 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  143 

action  will  be  under  the   circumstances.     The 
winter  before  last,  when  I  was  lying  ill  of  fever, 
Gretta  had  to  take  my  turn  and  visit  many  sick 
poor  women.     The  most  hopeless  and  miserable 
of  our  patients  was  a  poor  girl,  who  had  had  a 
baby  about  three  months  previously,  and,  at  the 
time  I  speak  of,  was  lying  ill  of  consumption. 
So  very  poor  and  forsaken  was  she,  that  our  so- 
ciety, with  its  other  burthens,  could  scarcely  af- 
ford to  provide  the  poor  creature  the  actual  nec- 
essaries of  which  she  was  destitute.    But  she  had 
not  only  poverty  to  contend  with,  she  had  a 
gnawing  inward  grief:  she  spoke  much  about  the 
father  of  her  child,  what  he  had  promised  to  do 
for  her,  and  how  that  he  left  her  now  to  die  of 
hunger  and  want.     Gretta  had  often  to  listen  to 
her  complaints  about  that  man,  and  her  opinion 
and  description  of  him  were  certainly  not  very 
high.    As   the  poor  girl  grew  worse,   and  saw 
death  approaching  with  rapid  strides,  her  most 
ardent  desire  was  to  see  her  beloved,  as  sometimes 
she  still  called  him,  once  more  before  she  closed 


144  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

her  eyes  ou  this  world  forever.  A  woman,  who 
had  formerly  acted  as  messenger  between  the  lov- 
ers, was  sent  again  and  again  to  ask  him  to  come 
to  see  the  poor  girl  once  more :  but  in  vain.  One 
day  Gretta  went  to  see  her,  and  found  her  par- 
ticularly low  and  weak.  She  tried  to  encourage 
her  with  a  few  comforting  words,  but  she  would 
not  be  comforted  :  her  only  answer  was,  '  I  must 
see  Giinther  once  more!'  Gretta  had  never 
heard  the  man's  name,  and  had  always  avoided 
as  much  as  possible  talking  about  the  affair. 
And  while  Gretta  was  talking  to  her  of  the  folly 
of  clinging  to  a  person  who  had  so  shamefully 
deserted  and  cast  her  off:  how  she  ought  rather 
to  turn  her  desires  and  affections  to  her  Savior, 
who  would  never  leave  her  nor  forsake  her :  the 
woman  who  had  always  been  sent  for  Giinther 
came  in,  exclaiming,  '  He  is  coming !  he  is  com- 
ing!' Gretta  turned  quickly,  in  order  to  go 
away  ;  but  the  man  stood  in  the  door- way  before 
she  was  aware  of  it.  He  stood  by  the  bedside 
of  the  sick  girl,  who  turned  toward  him,  and 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  145 

said,  *I  am  dying  now!'  and  wept  bitterly. 
'  That  is  not  my  fault,'  answered  he,  harshly ; 
'  and  I  have  come  to-day  in  order  that  the  con- 
stant running  after  me  may  cease.  "What  is  it 
you  want?  I  have  no  time  to  stand  here.' 
'  You  have  left  me  to  perish  so  miserably ! ' 
sobbed  the  poor  sick  girl,  again.  *  I ! '  cried  he ; 
and  then  recalled  to  her  mind  all  he  had  ever 
given  her :  it  was  no  fault  of  his  that  she  fell 
sick  ;  she  had  relations  who  were  richer  than  he 
was — why  would  she  not  turn  to  them  for  sup- 
port now  in  her  need  ? '  The  dying  girl  could 
not  speak  for  weeping :  she  tried  to  take  his 
hand,  but  he  drew  back.  Gretta  could  stand 
that  no  longer ;  but  stepping  over  to  them,  she 
placed  his  hand  in  that  of  the  invalid  and  said : 
'■  All  these  mutual  reproaches  are  idle  talk ;  the 
poor  girl  cannot  live  long  now,  and  wished  only 
to  hear  a  few  words  of  afiection  and  comfort 
from  you,  and  not  the  hard  cold  language  you 
have  been  using.'     He  was  quite  startled  ;  for  in 

his  haste  to  be  done  with  his  unfortunate  victim, 
10 


146  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

he  had  not  observed  Gretta's  presence.  He  now 
changed  his  manner  of  speaking  to  her,  and,  on 
going  away,  left  a  little  money :  two  days  after 
the  girl  died." 

Her  aunt  ceased  speaking.  Clara  was  to  the 
highest  degree  excited.  She  could  not  speak ; 
but  pressing  her  aunt's  hand  warmly,  rushed  out 
of  the  house.  Her  aunt  called  after,  but  she 
heard  her  not :  she  ran  home  with  hasty  steps 
and  locked  herself  in  her  own  room.  Here  she 
burst  into  tears.  What  an  abominable  man,  to 
have  had  such  an  adventure !  She  would  break 
oft*  all  connection  with  him  at  once  ;  she  would 
only  have  a  man  who  was  respected  and  honor- 
ed by  every  one — the  man  she  would  marry 
must  be  greatly  superior  to  Aunt  liieka  and 
Gretta  in  every  thing.  Such  were  her  first 
thoughts  and  intentions.  However,  wheb,  af- 
ter half  an  hour's  violent  weeping,  she  had 
overcome  her  tears,  she  became  more  tranquil. 
"And  even  should  the  entire  story  be  true," 
thought  she,  "  where  was  the  crime  ?     I  might 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  147 

easily  have  guessed  that  I  was  not  his  first  love. 
And  besides,"  answered  conscience,  "  he  is  not 
your  first  love,  and  you  have  never  confessed 
your  former  adventures  to  him."  That  is  just 
the  curse  of  sin :  in  order  to  cover  her  own 
faults,  she  was  obliged  to  overlook  his,  and  thus 
to  bear  the  punishment  of  both.  "  That  the  girl 
was  silly  enough  to  allow  herself  to  be  misled, 
was  her  own  fault ;  it  was  very  sad  for  her — 
and  it  was  most  shameful  of  him  to  leave  her  to 
perish  so  miserably  of  want  and  hunger ;  but 
she  must  have  been  a  very  ordinary  sort  of  girl 
that  could  not  fix  his  affections.  Such  a  thing 
could  never  have  happened  to  me."  The  great- 
est misfortune  about  the  matter  was,  that  it  was 
not  a  secret,  and  that  her  relations  of  all  other 
people  should  know  so  much  about  it.  The  af- 
fair could  by  no  means  affect  her  fortune  now, 
as  both  mother  and  child  were  dead.  WTien 
she  would  once  be  mistress  of  a  grand  hotel, 
with  every  comfort  around  her  like  any  princess, 
honored  and  adored  by  her  husband,   as  she 


148  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

never  doubted  would  be  the  case,  what  would 
be  wanting  to  her  happiness?  She  must  con- 
sider well  before  she  decided  on  giving  up  her 
betrothed ;  and  besides,  who  could  tell  whether 
the  whole  affair  was  so  black  as  her  aunt  repre- 
sented it  to  her?  "My  aunt  sees  every  thing 
with  such  jaundiced  eyes,  that  I  must  not  weigh 
too  heavily  upon  this  story.  But  Edward  shall 
confess  all  to  me  —  he  shall  know  that  I  am 
aware  of  all  his  faults  and  follies,  which  will 
make  him  more  humble  and  more  devoted  to 
me." 

When  he  came,  according  to  custom,  after  his 
duties  were  over,  to  see  her,  he  found  her  pretty 
nearly  consoled,  although  the  sight  of  him  made 
her  tears  flow  afresh.  lie  was,  with  his  bad 
conscience,  particularly  tender-hearted,  and 
upon  asking  the  reason  of  her  weeping,  was  in- 
formed of  the  whole  history.  Then  his  rage 
seemed  to  exceed  all  bounds:  He  said  it  was  all 
abominable  slander :  and  that  Gretta  and  Aunt 
Rieka  were  a  malicious  pair,  who  had  turned 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  149 

and  twisted  the  whole  affair  in  order  to  make 
Clara  hate  him !  "  Who  knows  in  what  corner 
they  would  wish  to  put  you  ;  they  are  so  jealous 
that  you  are  handsomer  and  more  polished 
in  your  manners  than  they  are  themselves." 
About  the  sick  girl  he  told  her:  that  she  had 
been  house-maid  in  the  hotel,  and  that  he  had 
had  a  trifling  love  affair  with  her ;  that  a  little 
later  she  had  left  the  house,  become  loose  in  her 
conduct,  and  thus  sunk  down  to  poverty  and 
misery.  In  her  need  she  had  turned  to  him, 
and  he  had  often  given  her  assistance ;  yes  !  his 
good  nature  had  so  far  got  the  better  of  his 
good  sense  that  he  did  actually  go  once  to  see 
the  girl,  because  she  let  him  have  no  rest.  And 
that  is  the  wonderful  history  that  your  amiable 
cousin  has  distorted  in  the  manner  you  de- 
scribe !  added  he,  with  an  angry  voice.  "  You 
must  solemnly  promise  me  to  break  off  alFinter- 
course  with  these  abominable  people,  for  they 
are  not  only  envious  and  wicked,  but  rough  and 
uncultivated  in  their  manners,  and  are  by  no 


150  ABOVE   HER   STATION. 

means  suitable  companions  for  us.  I  am  very 
well  pleased  that  the  cause  for  this  rupture  pro- 
ceeds from  them.  Kow  we  are  quite  free.  Aft- 
er the  manner  in  which  they  have  treated  me, 
they  surely  could  never  expect  me  to  cross  their 
threshold  again." 

Then  he  began  to  relate  his  plans  for  the 
future;  which  he  painted  in  such  vivid  colors, 
that  Clara  felt  herself  fully  satisfied,  and  agreed 
willingly  to  all  his  proposals.  In  order  to  avoid 
all  intrigues,  they  were  to  have  their  marriage 
celebrated  before  winter,  and  not  to  wait  for  the 
establishment  of  the  hotel;  that  could  be  fully 
arranged  when  they  would  be  together.  GUn- 
ther  had  seen  a  nice  little  dwelling  just  opposite 
the  hotel,  which  would  suit  them  nicely,  and  he 
would  purchase  fine  mahogany  furniture;  and 
every  possible  luxury  that  money  could  produce 
was  to  be  laid  at  Clara's  feet.  She  was  to  re- 
ceive four  hundred  dollars  yearly,  without  reck- 
oning the  numerous  trifles  here  and  there,  which 
fall  naturally  from  the  hotel.     "When  Clara  in- 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  151 

formed  him  that  her  aunt  had  promised  her  a 
complete  outfit  iu  case  she  would  marry,  his 
rage  flamed  up  anew. 

"  We  do  not  need  any  thing  from  your  aunt ! 
I  shall  write  to  her,  and  thank  her  both  for  her 
slander  and  her  wedding-presents  !  I  can  stand 
quite  well,  and  give  you  every  luxury  without 
any  help  from  her.  I  shall  never  trouble  her 
again  ;  nor  can  I  ever  allow  my  wife  to  enter  a 
house  where  my  honor  has  been  so  shamefully 
attacked  behind  my  back." 

Clara  made  some  opposition  to  this :  for 
though  she  had  always  more  feared  than  loved 
her  aunt,  she  did  not  like  to  see  her  insulted  in 
this  manner,  as  she  had  never  reproved  her  but 
with  kindness,  and  a  real  desire  to  do  her  good. 
Giinther  promised  not  to  make  the  letter  too 
severe ;  "  but,"  added  he,  "  if  we  do  not  take 
this  opportunity  of  breaking  loose  from  her,  she 
will  plague  us  all  our  lives."  In  this  way 
Clara  allowed  herself  to  be  talked  over,  and  the 
affair  seemed  all  settled. 


152  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

The  next  evening  Mrs,  Krauter  came  with  a 
very  serious  countenance.  Aunt  Rieka  had  sent 
for  her,  and  told  her  the  entire  history,  at  the 
same  time  giving  her  the  letter  to  read  which 
Giinther  had  written  to  her  in  the  morning. 
Clara  became  hot  and  cold  by  the  reading  of 
this  letter,  which  was  couched  in  terms  as  rude 
and  coarse  as  Giinther  had  determined  upon 
using  when  talking  with  Clara  the  last  evening. 
Mrs.  Krauter  had  two  faces :  when  she  was  with 
her  sister  in  the  morning  she  lamented  about  the 
levity  and  misfortunes  of  the  world ;  but  with 
her  daughter  she  pursued  a  different  language, 
because  she  was  desirous  to  see  her  married  to 
this  man.  Already  had  she  received  many  a 
tasty  morsel  from  the  hotel  where  her  daughter 
was  servant ;  and  what  a  grand  life  might  she 
not  expect  to  lead,  when  her  daughter  would  be 
mistress  of  her  own  hotel !  And  when  Clara 
seemed  disposed  to  be  angry  at  her  bridegroom 
for  his  extreme  rudeness  to  her  aunt,  her  mother 
took  his    part,    saying,   "Every  man    has    his 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  153 

faults;  and  slie  did  not  tliink  Aunt  Rieka 
wholly  free  from  blame.  If  you  had  taken  any 
other  man,  it  would  have  been  the  same ;  she 
would  have  still  found  faults  in  him :  her  taste 
is  not  the  same  as  yours,  and  you  must  now 
hold  with  your  bridegroom."  Clara  sighed :  it 
must  now  be  either  for !  or  against !  and  as  she 
did  not  altogether  like  to  give  up  her  bride- 
groom, she  was  obliged  to  go  against  her  aunt. 
She  made  her  mother  promise,  however,  to  go 
to  her,  and  say  how  very  unhappy  she  was 
about  the  rudeness  of  her  bridegroom's  letter ; 
but  she  was  so  very  much  attached  to  him,  and 
hoped  so  much  good  for  him  for  the  future,  that 
she  must  for  the  present  agree  to  his  wishes,  and 
break  ofl'  all  connection  with  her  friends  —  it 
could  not  be  for  long,  however,  as  he  must  very 
soon  become  sensible  of  his  error,  and  go  of 
himself  to  ask  her  aunt's  pardon. 


CHAPTER  vlli. 

IT  was  the  25th  of  September ;  Clara  stood 
before  the  glass,  and  putting  on  a  pink  apron, 
with  her  white  muslin  morning-dress,  and  a 
litle  rose-colored  head-dress,  she  was  now  ready 
to  receive  her  guests  to  chocolate-breakfast 
(luncheon).  She  had  been  married  the  day  be- 
fore ;  had  gone  in  a  carriage  to  church,  in  all 
the  pride  and  splendor  of  a  white-satin  dress, 
and  had  been  admired  as  a  beautiful  bride. 
Mr.  Eeinhard  had  given  his  head-waiter  a  splen- 
did dinner  on  his  marriage-day ;  and  after  this 
dinner  there  was  an  evening  party  at  the  house 
of  the  new  married  pair.  The  guests  were :  a 
private  secretary,  with  his  wife,  a  shop-keeper 
and  his  wife,  a  gentleman  living  on  his  rents. 


ABOVE    HER   STATION.  155 

Agusta  Vogler,  a  few  shopmen,  and  Clara's 
mother.  Clara  confessed  to  herself  that  these 
people  did  not  seem  at  all  to  suit  her  fine  apart- 
ments and  elegant  furniture ;  and  even  Giinther 
was  a  changed  person  in  this  society.  He  laugh- 
ed and  spoke  otherwise  than  she  had  been  ac- 
customed to  see  him  do  in  the  presence  of  the 
fine  folks  who  came  to  the  hotel;  indeed,  his 
whole  air  and  manner  became  disagreeable  to 
her.  Of  course,  she  must  make  some  allowance 
for  him,  as  he  had  taken  an  unusual  quantity 
of  wine  that  day,  which  was  not  unfroq^uently 
the  case  on  such  festal  occasions:  with  this 
thought  she  consoled  herself.  The  same  society 
had  been  invited  to  luncheon  this  morning. 
Clara  had  already  prepared  her  fine  china-cups ; 
cakes  and  pasties  were  served  up  on  painted 
plates,  and  she  herself  reclined  upon  her  sofa, 
like  any  duchess  awaiting  the  arrival  of  her 
guests. 

The   mother  was  the  first  who   came.     She 
glanced  smilingly  at  the  cakes  and  chocolate ; 


156  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

seated  herself  cosily  at  the  opposite  corner  of 
the  sofa,  and  said :  "  I  never  could  have  be- 
lieved that  you  would  have  so  fully  succeeded 
in  all  your  plans,  you  little  giddypate.  "When  I 
thought  over  it,  the  chance  of  settling  you  seem- 
ed so  very  far  off,  and  then  your  hot  blood  and 
your  scruples  would  come  in  and  spoil  all.  God 
be  praised  that  you  have  safely  run  into  a  good 
harbor ! " 

Clara  smiled.  She  had  at  least  her  mother  to 
offer  incense  and  rejoice  at  her  lot,  though  she 
could  ^ot  altogether  reconcile  herself  to  her 
wondrous  good  fortune. 

GUnther  came  in  a  little  paler  than  usual,  but 
in  a  good  humor.  The  other  guests  soon  fol- 
lowed— the  chocolate  was  served — Mrs.  Krauter 
seemed  to  enjoy  every  thing ;  her  son-in-law,  on 
the  contrary,  refused  all  these  sweet  things.  lie 
said,  jokingly,  "  I  feel  more  inclined  for  wine  to- 
day than  this  sweet  chocolate:"  and  leaving  the 
room,  speedily  returned  with  an  armful  of  glass- 
es and  bottles.     The  gentlemen  smirked  at  this 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  157 

agreeable  change,  and  the  women  made  coarse 
jests.  Clara  looked  anxiously  at  her  husband, 
who  had  come  over  from  the  hotel  in  a  slightly 
elevated  condition :  for  she  had  observed  his 
hands  trembling  when  handing  a  cup  of  choco- 
late. She  would  glady  have  put  a  stop  to  this 
new  drinking  bout,  but  she  felt  ashamed  to 
speak :  first,  because  she,  as  hostess,  did  not 
like  to  seem  to  grudge  her  friends  any  good 
cheer  in  the  house,  and  then  she  knew  well  that 
Giinther  would  not  listen  to  any  reasoning  upon 
such  subjects. 

The  gentlemen  became  every  moment  more 
noisy  :  the  women  looked  on  anxiously.  Clara 
observed  that  her  husband  had  been  for  some 
days  very  unwell,  and  that  the  wine  would  be 
very  bad  for  him.  He  became  every  moment 
paler,  his  hands  trembled,  and  he  talked  all 
sorts  of  nonsense ;  yet  he  was  not  the  worst  of 
the  company.  One  slept  in  the  corner  of  the 
sofa,  while  another  of  the  young  shopmen  had 
already  left.     The  women  tried  to  break  up  the 


158  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

party,  which,  with  the  drunken  men,  was  not 
easily  effected ;  but  at  length  they  succeeded, 
and  Clara  was  left  alone  with  her  husband  and 
her  mother. 

Giiuther  had  not  quite  drank  his  senses  away, 
because  he  could  bear  much  more  than  most 
men  :  he  knew  now  that  a  sleep  would  do  him 
more  good  than  any  thing  else,  so  he  laid  him- 
self upon  the  bed.  Mrs.  Krauter  went  home, 
because  she  had  no  inclination  to  wash  up  cups 
and  glasses,  and  Clara  was  left  alone  in  her  ele- 
gant apartment;  neither  had  she  much  desire 
just  then  to  wash  np  the  cups  and  arrange  the 
room — she  wished  first  to  recover  from  the  noise 
and  tumult  of  the  last  few  hours ;  and,  seating 
herself  in  the  window,  gazed  into  the  street.  The 
blue  sky  and  clear  sunshine  invited  promenaders 
into  the  open  air,  and  the  coming  and  going  of 
carriages  before  the  hotel  made  the  prospect 
quite  lively  to  look  at.  Yes,  gay  and  lively,  but 
not  for  Clara.  Her  heart  was  heavy,  and  she 
scarcely  knew  what  it  was  she  wished  for.     She 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  159 

was  now  at  the  very  summit  of  her  desires ;  she 
could  live  well,  and  act  the  grand  lady.  The 
fine  mahogany  furniture,  the  sofa,  the  carpet, 
the  embroidered  table-cloth,  the  flower-pots,  the 
handsomely-framed  pictures — she  had  never  im- 
agined a  finer  dwelling  for  herself — and  yet  she 
was  not  happy  :  this  feeling  vexed  her  so  much, 
she  could  have  wept.  Thus  dissatisfied  with 
herself — ^with  the  whole  world — she  took  up  a 
novel  which  was  lying  in  her  way  to  amuse  her- 
self and  pass  the  time. 

When  Giinther  appeared  again,  after  having 
enjoyed  a  few  hours'  repose,  he  grumbled  a  little 
at  finding  every  thing  in  disorder ;  and  in  his 
diligence  of  waiter,  he  soon  cleared  away  bottles 
and  glasses.  Clara  declared  that  she  was  quite 
worn  out,  and  his  guilty  conscience  made  him 
keep  silence;  thus  the  honeymoon  had  not  be- 
gun with  music  and  sunshine. 


CHAPTER  IX. 

FRITZ  BUCHSTEm  was  walking  up  and 
down  the  garden.  The  last  rays  of  sunshine 
were  resting  upon  the  slated-roof  of  the  church- 
tower,  and  a  glorious  autumn  sunset  gilded 
the  entire  horizon.  There  were  bright  flowers 
amongst  the  green  leaves ;  the  plums  and  apples 
hung  heavily  upon  the  branches ;  in  his  neigh- 
bor's garden  a  band  of  happy  children  danced 
round  a  fire  they  had  made  of  withered  stalks : 
all  spoke  of  peace  and  plenty.  Fritz  gazed  upon 
the  scene,  and  joy  and  contentment  filled  his 
heart.  Here  was  his  sweet  home ;  here  he  was 
to  build  his  hearth ;  here  he  hoped,  in  the  love 
and  honor  of  God,  to  begin  his  course  as  citizen 
and  house-father. 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  161 

Yesterday  he  had  seen  Clara  married.  Clara 
in  a  white  satin-dress,  and  green  garland  on  her 
head,  with  the  beautiful  blue  childlike  eyes,  had 
once  more  moved  his  heart  to  sympathy  and 
afiectionate  remembrances.  The  dark  pale  man 
who  stood  beside  her,  seemed  to  him  to  be  the 
evil  one,  to  whom  she  was  about  to  give  herself; 
and,  as  he  saw  her  there,  he  prayed  again  and 
again  to  the  Almighty :  "  Lord,  even  now  for- 
sake her  not :  lead  her,  hold  her ;  Thou  alone 
art  the  way,  and  Thou  alone  hast  the  power  to 
preserve  this  poor  wandering  sheep  from  perdi- 
tion." 

On  his  way  home  he  met  Mrs.  Bendler  and 
Gretta.  At  the  sight  of  Gretla,  happiness  and 
peace  again  entered  his  heart.  Gretta  looked 
up  at  him  so  confidingly  ;  his  eyes  also  expressed 
the  feelings  of  his  heart.  Marriages  are  made 
in  heaven.  Gretta,  he  felt,  was  the  wife  intend- 
ed by  Providence  for  him.  With  her  he  would 
tread  the  narrow  path  ;  his  love  should  lead  and 

support  her  in  all  the  temptations  and  difficul- 
11 


162  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

ties  of  the  way ;  and  her  faithful  stout  heart 
would  bear  him  up  with  all  his  failings.  Yes ; 
he  would  confide  to  her  afiectionate  heart  the 
sorrows  and  desires  of  his  youth,  now  that  he 
had  overcome  them  all,  and  could  cast  himself 
with  his  whole  heart  on  Gretta's  affection  :  for 
his  love  to  her  was  founded  upon  esteem,  and 
their  mutual  love  of  God ;  and  such  love  is  the 
only  sure  foundation  for  married  happiness.  If 
a  girl  has  nothing  more  solid  than  a  pretty  face, 
fine  figure,  or  lively  manners,  the  fit  of  admira- 
tion soon  wears  off',  and,  as  is  too  often  the  case 
with  hastily-got-up  marriages,  she  begins  to  feel 
herself  a  neglected  wife.  Fritz  looked  with  a 
longing  heart  over  his  neighbor's  paling,  and 
Gretta  soon  after  came  out  of  the  house:  she 
shook  a  plumb-tree,  and  commenced  gathering 
the  fruit.  Fritz  jumped  over  the  paling,  and 
asked  leave  to  help  her ;  which  being  granted, 
they  had  soon  collected  the  scattered  fruit,  and 
filled  Gretta's  apron.  Fritz  then  took  Gretta's 
hand,  and  looking  earnestly  at  her,  said :  "  Gret- 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  163 

ta,  you  must  have  observed  long  ago  the  state  of 
my  heart  with  regard  to  you  ?  " 

Gretta  nodded. 

"  I  love  you  with  all  my  heart,"  continued  he, 
"  and  the  Lord  will  give  me  strength  to  make 
you  as  happy  as  you  deserve  to  be." 

Gretta  bent  her  head  and  thought :  "  I  am  in- 
deed unworthy  of  such  happiness." 

"]N'ow  we  shall  go  to  your  mother,"  continued 
he,  and  putting  Gretta's  arm  in  his,  they  passed 
through  the  garden.  Then  a  little  window  was 
opened,  and  the  starling  hopped  out  and  cried 
aloud:  "Missis  a  bride!"  Yes,  you  old  Ben- 
jamin, you  must  be  the  first  to  put  your  finger  in 
the  pie.  This  time  Gretta  did  not  scold  him  for 
his  ugly  voice ;  but,  smiling  kindly  at  him,  stood 
still  till  the  white  night-cap  with  the  friendly 
face  appeared  at  the  window.  "  God  bless  you 
both ! "  said  he  fervently,  then  bending  his  head 
to  the  bullfinch,  the  latter  struck  up  his  favorite 
melody:  "Praise  the  Lord,  O  my  soul!"  and 
even  Fritz  and  Gretta  could  not  restrain  them- 


164  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

selves,  but  with  full  clear  voices,  cliimed  in  with 
the  words  of  a  German  hymn,  the  sense  of 
which  is  conveyed  by  those  beautiful  words  of 
the  103d  Psalm:  "Bless  the  Lord,  O  my  soul! 
and  all  that  is  within  me,  bless  His  holy  name ! " 
etc. 

Mrs.  Bendler  came  out  just  in  time  to  join  the 
last  line,  and  her  tender  affectionate  heart  could 
not  forbear  shedding  tears  of  joy  on  this  happy 
occasion.  And  when  father  Buchstein  appeared 
at  his  house-door,  it  was  immediately  settled  to 
open  a  gate  in  the  paling  between  the  two 
gardens.  Benjamin  came  quickly  down,  and 
brought  Fritz  the  necessary  tools  for  cutting 
down  the  paling,  and  with  many  lively  speeches 
they  all  helped  at  the  work.  During  the  time 
that  old  Buchstein  came  slowly  around  leaning 
on  his  staff,  the  opening  was  already  made,  and 
Fritz  led  his  bride  and  her  mother  to  meet  his 
old  father. 


CHAPTER  X. 

CLARA  passed  the  remainder  of  her  honey- 
moon in  unclouded  pleasure.  GUnther  tried 
to  make  her  forget  the  first  two  days :  He 
brought  her  to  coffee-gardens,  concerts,  the  the- 
ater, etc.  She  had  nothing  whatever  to  do  in 
the  house,  coffee  and  tea  were  the  only  things 
she  had  to  cook,  and  even  these  her  mother  was 
glad  to  make  for  her,  because  she  could  then 
take  part  in  the  feast.  Mr.  Reinhard  allowed 
GUnther  to  send  Clara's  dinner  over  to  her,  be- 
cause one  person,  more  or  less,  from  the  well- 
covered  table,  made  no  difference  to  him ;  and 
GUnther  appeared  to  be  the  more  attentive  and 
obliging  in  the  hotel.  Clara  now  had  plenty  of 
time   for  patching   and  mending ;    but,   unfor- 


166  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

tunately,  she  wanted  the  inclination.  She  con- 
sidered it  useless  trouble  to  mend  up  her  old 
things,  and  the  small  stock  of  new  articles  which 
she  provided  for  herself  were  all  bought  ready- 
made.  Giinther  said  he  would  make  out  the  in- 
ventory of  articles  needful  to  stock  a  grand 
hotel  as  soon  as  he  could  spare  time,  but  for  the 
present  she  could  help  herself  with  a  few  things 
as  their  family  was  small. 

Toward  Christmas,  she  was  not  astonished  to 
observe  that  her  husband  stopped  away  oftener 
than  usual  from  home,  because  there  were  more 
visitors  at  the  hotel,  and  Giinther  was  very  busy; 
and  that  his  eyes  looked  hollow,  and  his  hands 
trembled,  were  indications  of  the  hard  work  he 
had  to  go  through,  and  the  hard  life  he  had  to 
lead — up  early  and  late.  And  besides  all  this, 
Giinther  had  such  power  over  himself !  when  he 
thought  any  one  was  observing  him,  he  could 
assume  such  a  steady  gait,  and  such  liveliness  of 
manner,  that  Clara  was  deceived  and  satisfied. 

One  evening  toward  ten  o'clock,  she  was  re- 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  167 

turning  from  her  mother's,  who  had  been  ill  for 
some  days.  In  passing,  she  wished  to  get  a  little 
money  from  him,  for  she  could  scarcely  expect 
to  see  him  this  evening ;  there  was  so  much  life 
and  bustle  about  the  hotel.  In  the  hall  she  met 
the  young  waiter  who  had  made  the  tea  for  her 
husband  in  the  summer,  and  who  had  held  that 
famous  whispered  conversation  which  had  then 
startled  Clara. 

"  Where  is  my  husband  ?  "  asked  Clara. 

"  In  his  room;  and  I  must  again  make  tea  for 
him,"  said  the  lad,  mockingly. 

Quite  terrified,  Clara  ran  to  Giinther's  room, 
and  found  him  in  a  worse  condition  than  she 
had  ever  before  witnessed.  He  sat  at  a  table, 
which  he  thumped  with  his  two  fists,  and 
shouted  out :  "  Ten  thousand  dollars  —  five 
thousand  dollars  —  that  ought  to  suffice  —  that 
must  suffice !  "  Clara  shut  the  door  quickly  aft- 
er her.  "For  mercy's  sake,  Giinther!"  cried 
she ;  "you  are  quite  drunk !  " 

"  Drunk ! "  repeated  Giinther,  startled  at  the 


168  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

Bight  of  her.  He  tried  to  compose  himself  as 
usual,  but  it  would  not  do :  he  sank  down  again 
upon  his  chair  and  babbled  nonsense.  Some 
one  knocked  at  the  door.  Clara  inquired  who 
it  was  ? 

"  I  bring  the  tea  which  I  have  made,"  answer- 
ed the  waiter ;  "  and  Mr.  Reinhard  wishes  to 
speak  to  Mr.  Edward." 

Clara  took  the  tea  from  the  lad,  then  went 
immediately  to  Mr.  Reinhard,  with  whom  she 
exchanged  a  few  words  ;  and  he,  seeming  to  be- 
lieve the  fable  about  Giinther's  sudden  attack 
of  illness,  went  away.  Clara  threw  a  cloak  over 
her  husband's  shoulders,  put  a  hat  on  his  head, 
and  when  she  found  no  one  hanging  about  the 
stairs,  or  the  hall-door,  led  him  to  his  home. 

In  her  own  dwelling,  however,  she  tried  to 
overcome  her  fears  and  her  rage  by  pouring  a 
torrent  of  abuse  upon  her  husband.  He  stared 
at  her  without  answering  a  word.  She  became 
more  and  more  enraged,  and  insisted  on  his 
getting  into  bed,  and  taking  him  by  the  arm 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  169 

tried  to  force  him  to  listen  to  her ;  but  he  sud- 
denly broke  loose  from  her,  and  giving  her  a 
severe  blow,  said  roughly :  "  Be  quiet  with  your 
noise  !  Who  gave  you  liberty  to  preach  to  me  ? 
Here,  pull  off  my  boots  ! "  Clara  stood  stock 
still ;  she  could  not  possibly  stoop  to  such  a 
mean  service !  "  Are  you  going  to  be  quick  !  '* 
cried  he,  still  more  roughly,  "  or  shall  I  teach 
you  to  obey  ?  "  Then  stepping  close  up  to  her, 
he  shook  her  chin  violently  with  his  rough  hand. 
Clara  screamed  out.  "  Come !  "  said  he ;  and 
throwing  himself  upon  a  chair,  stretched  out  his 
foot  again  for  her  to  pull  off  the  boot.  Clara 
saw  that  it  was  no  child's  play  with  the  drunken 
man,  and,  bitterly  weeping,  she  pulled  off  his 
boots,  in  order  to  avoid  further  ill  treatment. 
He,  bestowing  a  kick  by  way  of  thanks,  turned 
to  the  table  and  began  again  to  thump  with  his 
fists,  and  shout  "Ten  thousand  dollars!  —  ten 
thousand  dollars  ! " — till  sleep  put  an  end  to  his 
nonsense. 
Clara  lay  down  in  her  clothes.    She  feared  to 


170  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

^o  to  sleep,  for  she  dreaded  being  alone  with 
her  husband.  In  her  helplessness,  weeping  was 
her  only  comfort :  and  she  wept  and  wept,  until 
sleep  at  last  overpowered  her  weary  eyelids. 

Toward  morning  she  awoke,  and  heard  her 
husband  groping  about  in  the  dark  in  the  par- 
lor, where  he  had  passed  the  night  in  the  cold. 
She  lighted  a  lamp:  Giinther  looked  ashamed 
of  himself,  but  at  the  same  time  so  ill  and  miser- 
able, that  she  would  have  felt  pity  for  him,  had 
not  rage  arid  grief  restrained  her  feelings — and, 
besides,  she  felt  weary  and  sick  at  heart  after 
the  dreadful  night  she  had  passed.  He  will  cer- 
tainly, thought  Clara,  come  and  ask  pardon,  and 
make  excuses  with  sweet  words ;  but  such  con- 
duct I  will  neither  forget  nor  forgive — I  will  tell 
him  that  if  any  thing  of  the  kind  occurs  again, 
I  shall  leave  him.  As  she  went  silently  to  the 
stove  to  light  the  fire,  he  commenced  speaking. 

"  Why  did  you  leave  me  sitting  here  in  the 
cold  room  all  night  ?  " 

Clara  gazed  at  him  with  astonishment.     "  Do 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  171 

you  know  what  happened  yesterday  evening  ?  " 
asked  she,  with  a  trembling  voice. 

"  Of  course,  I  know  it !  and  bad  enough  it 
was  of  a  wife,  when  her  husband  came  home 
sick  and  weary,  to  attack  him  like  a  Zantippe. 
You  scolded  and  made  a  noise,  instead  of  trying 
to  soothe  and  comfort  him,  as  any  other  kind 
wife  would." 

"Do  you  know  that  I  brought  you  over?" 
asked  Clara,  with  trembling  voice :  "  That  Mr. 
Reinhard  wished  to  speak  to  you?  that  the 
waiters  despise  you,  because  of  your  drunken- 
ness ?  and  that  it  was  I  who  brought  you  quietly 
away  from  them  all  ?  " 

"I  know  all  that!"  answered  GUnther,  coldly: 
"and  it  was  very  sensible  of  you;  but  you  ought 
to  have  continued  your  kindness  here." 

Clara  could  not  speak  further  :  her  voice  was 
choked  with  grief.  Then  he  was  not  even  sorry 
for  his  bad  deeds — he  even  complained  of  her 
conduct !  This  was  the  first  time  that  he  had 
spoken  unkindly  to  her  when  he  was  in  his  sens- 


172  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

es ;  now  she  must  give  up  every  hope  of  seeing 
him  change  for  the  better.  He  went  to  bed — she 
attended  him,  and  answered  the  messengers  sent 
about  him  from  the  hotel;  but  when  her  mother 
came  she  had  to  hide  her  head — for  she  would 
have  been  ashamed  to  expose  her  misfortunes. 
In  spite  of  all  her  wisdom,  cleverness,  and  pride, 
she  had  just  now  fallen  to  the  same  condition  as 
her  mother  :  the  miserable,  persecuted  wife  of  a 
drunken  man ! 

When  the  young  couple  had  passed  eight 
days  in  almost  perfect  silence,  Giinther  appeared 
to  give  in :  he  brought  Clara  more  money,  began 
to  flatter  her,  and  expressed  some  sorrow  for  his 
conduct;  and  she  thought  it  best  not  to  ap- 
pear too  unforgiving.  So  that  the  intercourse 
between  them  seemed  outwardly  to  approach  its 
original  footing;  but  the  thorn  remained  in 
Clara's  heart:  she  could  not  possibly  think 
lightly  of  her  lot  now  —  the  reality  was  too 
speakingly  plain  before  her  eyes. 

Christmas  arrived,  and  Giinther  laid  himself 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  173 

out  to  win  again  for  himself  the  entire  of  Clara's 
easily  moved  heart.  The  Christmas  table  actu- 
ally glittered  with  line  things:  a  silk  mantle, 
and  a  velvet  bonnet,  which  would  do  for  the 
finest  lady  in  the  land,  lay  upon  it,  and,  beside 
other  trifles,  a  bill  for  twenty  dollars,  to  pur- 
chase a  baby's  trousseau.  For  Clara's  mother 
Gunther  had  also  bought  many  fine  things :  so 
there  were  only  joyful  faces  to  be  seen  on  this 
happy  occasion. 

Clara  was  determined  to  go  to  church  on 
Christmas  morning,  in  order  to  display  her  new 
finery.  This  triumph  was  quite  a  revival  to  her, 
after  the  sad  weary  days  she  had  passed;  but 
she  was  particularly  anxious  to  show  herself  to 
her  Aunt  Rieka  and  Gretta,  as  they  had  more 
than  once  expressed  their  fears  to  her  mother, 
that  she  was  not  altogether  so  happy  and  com- 
fortable as  they  could  wish  her  to  be :  she  would 
now  set  their  minds  at  rest  about  her.  Of 
course,  she  would  be  obliged  to  go  to  St.  Steph- 
en's Church,  among  the  pietists;  but  that   did 


174  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

not  much  signify,  as,  at  all  events,  slie  was  not 
going  to  hear  God's  word.  Yes;  latterly  she 
avoided  thinking  of  God  more  than  ever ;  al- 
though the  thought  would  force  itself  sometimes 
upon  her  mind,  that  perhaps  her  aunt's  words 
might  come  true,  and  that  God  would  punish 
her  for  her  unbelief.  But  this  day  all  was  joy 
and  happiness;  so  she  had  no  time  for  such  seri- 
ous thoughts. 

At  first  she  had  intended  to  seat  herself  in  a 
conspicuous  part  of  the  church,  that  every  one 
might  see  her ;  but  on  entering  God's  house,  her 
better  feelings  conquered,  and  with  a  conscious 
blush  of  shame  she  seated  herself  in  a  retired 
corner.  When  the  voices  of  the  congregation, 
mingled  with  the  swelling  tones  of  the  organ, 
were  lifted  up  in  one  harmonious  strain  of 
praise  to  that  Redeemer,  whose  birth  they  had 
that  day  assembled  to  commemorate,  her  heart 
was  moved  with  sensations  till  then  unknown  to 
her :  she  forgot  cloak  and  bonnet,  and  could  not 
resist  reading  and  singing  with  great  attention 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  175 

the  words :     "  He  is  Christ  the  Lord  our  God, 
who  from  us  all  distress  delivers,"  etc.,  etc. 

A  deliverer  from  all  distress !  shall  I  also  need 
such  a  Savior,  thought  Clara.  "Ph,  how  happy 
I  was  before  I  married !  every  succeeding  day 
clearer  and  more  amusing  than  the  last — ^the 
world  so  smiling.  "Why !  oh,  why !  did  I  run 
myself  into  such  misfortunes  ?  And  who  knows 
what  miseries  are  still  in  store  for  me  ?  I  have 
no  deliverer  for  my  hour  of  need !  The  Savior 
whom  Aunt  Rieka  and  Gretta  trust  in  is  no 
Savior  for  me !  I  neither  know  Him,  nor  do  I 
wish  to  know  Him ! "  added  she,  despairingly. 
The  voice  of  the  minister  now  drew  her  out  of 
her  own  thoughts. 

"  This  is  the  day  the  Lord  hath  made  ;  let  us 
rejoice  and  be  glad  in  it,"  was  the  text.  The 
gospel  followed,  and  then  how  warmly  the 
preacher  described  the  love  of  Jesus,  who  came 
down  from  heaven  with  gifts  from  God  for  sinful 
man,  and  what  he  requires  from  us.  How  great 
and  unspeakable  is  the  grace  of  God  for  us  poor 


176  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

sinners,  who,  naked  and  miserable,  sit  in  dark- 
ness and  death,  awaiting  the  righteous  judgment 
of  an  offended  Deity  for  our  manifold  sins.  Our 
consciences  tell  us  that  we  have  broken  the  law, 
that  death  is  our  due  reward.  Then  a  light 
shines  forth  in  the  darkness,  a  comfort  in  our 
trouble ;  the  kind  and  loving  Savior  comes,  and 
declares  forgiveness  of  sins,  release  from  death 
and  hell,  and  gives  us  hope  for  everlasting  hap- 
piness !  Blessed  J  esus !  thou  earnest  into  our  mis- 
erable world,  and  took  upon  Thyself  our  deserv- 
ed punishment!  Thou  hast  died  the  bitter 
death  upon  the  cross  for  us !  Thou  camest, 
Thou  hast  sought  me  out — me  a  poor  miserable 
sinner  Thou  wilt  take  to  Thy  bosom !  0  then, 
take  me ;  hold  me  fast  from  the  world  and  from 
sin,  and  I  shall  be  Thine  for  ever  ! 

Clara  was  much  moved  :  such  words  she  had 
never  before  heard ;  or  was  was  it  that  she  would 
not  hear  ?  Had  her  heart  been  hard,  and  had 
the  Lord  now  softened  it  ?  Yes,  the  Lord  can 
give  grace  as  He  pleases,  and  by  grace  shall  we 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  177 

be  saved.  But  this  day  ardent  prayers  had  been 
offered  up  especially  for  her,  at  the  throne  of 
grace  :  Fritz  Buchstein,  Aunt  Rieka,  and  Gret- 
ta,  had  all  seen  her  come  into  church,  and  had 
besieged  the  Lamb  of  God  for  a  blessing  on  this 
forlorn  sheep. 

In  going  out  of  the  church,  Clara  approached 
her  aunt :  she  felt  almost  ashamed  of  her  fine 
clothes ;  and  with  a  humble,  soft  expression  of 
countenance  quite  unusual  to  her,  she  wished 
them  a  merry  and  happy  festival.  Her  aunt  and 
Gretta  took  her  hand  most  kindly,  and  they 
walked  together  as  far  as  Mrs.  Bendler's  house. 
While  bidding  adieu,  Clara  said,  "  I  have  long 
intended  to  come  and  see  you,  and  if  you  will 
permit  me,  I  will  come  soon."  With  the  last 
words  the  tears  started  to  her  eyes,  and  she  hur- 
ried away. 

12 


CHAPTER  XI. 

OK  Sylvester  evening,  Mrs.  Bendler,  as  usual, 
had  her  little  walnut-shell  boats  floating  in 
the  basin ;  but  Gretta  had  no  anxiety  this  year 
about  her  boat.  All  was  gayety  and  enjoyment : 
Fritz  read  the  Bible,  and  they  sang  hymns,  until 
the  clock  struck  twelve,  when  they  all  knelt 
down  to  pray  to  God  to  help  and  guide  them  in 
the  coming  year. 

There  was  another  scene  at  Gunther's.  Ever 
since  Christmas  he  had  been  in  a  particularly 
good  temper ;  and  on  Sylvester  morning  he  said 
to  Clara  :  "  To-day  we  must  have  a  grand  party. 
It  will  be  the  last  Sylvester  that  we  shall  ever 
spend  here;  and  who  can  tell  where  we  shall 
spend  the  next  new-year's  eve !    In  some  far  dis- 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  179 

tant  country  very  likely,  where  you  will  not  re- 
quire to  fetch  cakes  and  sugar  yourself.  But 
to-day  you  must  go  for  them ! "  And  putting 
five  dollars  upon  the  table,  he  said,  "  Buy  ev- 
ery thing  that  is  necessary  for  a  good  cold  supper, 
and  then  be  a  sensible  wife.  I  do  not  see  why 
— when  I  must  toil  from  morning  till  night — I 
may  not  take  my  pleasure  now  and  then.  Is  it, 
then,  so  very  dreadful,  if  one  gets  a  little  eleva- 
ted at  times  ?  Look  at  the  wife  of  the  rent-pro- 
prietor :  she  only  laughs  when  her  husband  gets 
tipsy,  lets  him  sleep  off  the  drunken  fit,  and  they 
get  on  together  as  well  as  before.  One  need  not 
be  a  confirmed  drunkard ;  but,  on  particular  oc- 
casions, a  glass  or  two  more  may  certainly  be 
allowed." 

Clara  saw  plainly  that  if  she  would  avoid  all 
scolding  or  strife,  she  must  agree  to  these  theo- 
ries— and  she  was  determined  to  try  how  fair 
means  would  act  upon  her  husband.  He  might, 
by  degrees,  learn  to  see  the  crime  of  drunken- 
ness with  her  eyes.     Besides,  her  mother  was 


180  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

present  at  tlie  conversation,  and  was  entirely  of 
the  same  opinion  as  her  son-in-law.  "  Clara," 
she  said,  "  has  read  too  many  novels,  and  has 
strange  notions  with  regard  to  life :  she  thinks 
that  all  men  ought  to  be  perfect  angels,  and  she 
herself  is  very  far  removed  from  an  angel." 
Gunther  agreed  jokingly  to  this,  and  they  were 
all  in  high  good  humor  with  each  other. 

The  guests  arrived.  At  first  all  went  on  very 
decently  and  quietly,  but  by  degrees  both  men 
and  women  became  more  and  more  lively,  and 
the  new  year  was  ushered  in  with  the  most  out- 
rageous noise. 

Clara  alone  was  silent — all  the  jests  of  the 
others  were  powerless  to  rouse  her  from  her  mel- 
ancholy. She  told  them  she  did  not  feel  quite 
well;  which  excuse  was  taken,  instead  of  the 
real  one — disgust  at  their  coarse  vulgarity.  She 
was  by  nature  too  refined  to  be  free  or  comforta- 
ble in  the  midst  of  this  low  drinking  society. 
Her  mind  was  still  giddy  enough  for  her  to  enjoy 
pleasures,  but  then  it  must  be  something  more  re- 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  181 

fined  than  the  bottle :  and,  beside  all  this,  the  ser- 
vice in  St.  Stephen's  Church,  on  Christmas-day, 
had  left  a  eerious  impression  upon  her  mind.  She 
did  not  understand  it  herself — she  felt  wretched 
and  miserable,  and  found  no  happiness  in  eating 
and  drinking,  or  in  fine  clothes.  When  the  rent- 
proprietor  had  taken  his  full  allowance  of  liquor, 
his  wife  proposed  going  away ;  the  others  fol- 
lowed their  example,  and  Gunther  went  to  bed 
to  sleep  ofiT  the  efiects  of  his  drink.  The  next 
morning  he  arose  pale  and  weak,  his  hand  trem- 
bling so  much  that  he  could  scarcely  lift  the 
cofiee-cup  to  his  mouth  ;  and  yet  he  tried  to  per- 
suade his  wife  of  the  innocence  of  such  pleas- 
ures, and  that  it  depended  solely  on  the  women 
to  keep  the  men  to  a  harmless  degree  of  moder- 
ation !  Clara  was  silent :  the  horrors  of  the  past 
evening,  and  the  pale,  trembling  man  before  her, 
were  dreadful  objects  of  contemplation ;  and 
more  and  more  clearly  the  last  Sylvester  even- 
ing arose  to  her  memory:  the  lively,  inno- 
cent   conversation  —  the    hymn-singing  —  Fritz 


182  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

Buchsteia  —  Bible-reading.  What  a  different 
sort  of  a  man  he  is — ^he  whom  I  then  judged 
coarse — to  the  low,  rude  fellows  who  now  sur- 
round my  paths !  How  comfortable  and  happily 
Gretta  can  live  with  him — "  the  home-spun  Gret- 
ta'' — whilst  I,  in  spite  of  silk  cloak,  velvet  bon- 
net, etc.,  must  live  in  continual  disgust  and  fear 
of  my  husband.  She  dreaded  the  future,  for  she 
felt  that  there  was  no  hope  of  improvement;  and 
the  bitterness  of  her  cup  was  increased  by  the 
feeling,  that  she  alone  was  to  blame  for  all  her 
misery.  How  to  extricate  herself  from  the  net 
into  which  she  had  cast  herself,  she  knew  not : 
she  had  neither  faith  nor  courage  to  cast  herself 
upon  Him  who  alone  could  help  her  in  her 
trouble.  No ;  she  had  made  her  own  bed,  and 
all  she  could  do  now  was  to  lie  down  in  it. 

January  passed  over  very  quickly  for  Clara,  in 
sewing  and  making  preparations  for  her  baby. 
She  had  learned  one  lesson  by  her  work  that 
was  entirely  new  to  her,  viz.,  that  of  quiet  in- 
dustry.   She  had  always  loved  excitement ;  now 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  183 

her  thoughts  were  constantly  with  the  baby  she 
hoped  to  see  dressed  in  the  little  garments ;  and 
a  sweet,  quiet  joy  filled  her  whole  heart. 

But  she  was  not  to  enjoy  this  peaceful  pleas- 
ure bng ;  for  Giinther,  in  the  joyful  mood  into 
which  he  had  fallen  for  some  weeks  past,  drank 
a  bottle  of  good  wine  oftener  than  usual ;  and 
in  order  to  be  able  to  get  over  his  fit  of  drunk- 
enness unobserved,  he  carried  it  over  to  his  own 
house.  Sometimes  he  took  his  potation  quietly, 
but  mo:e  frequently  with  singing  and  shouting ; 
and  Clara  had  some  trouble  to  quiet  him.  In 
this  manner  the  beginning  of  February  passed 
over ;  but  for  eight  days  Clara  had  been  con- 
stantly unwell;  her  mother  had  been  with  her 
day  and  night,  in  order  to  do  the  necessary 
house-work,  and  at  the  same  time  to  attend  to 
the  drunken  man — for  which  she  was  much 
better  fitted  than  her  daughter,  having  had 
good  practice  with  her  own  drunken  husband ; 
and  her  feelings  had  been  completely  blunted, 
so  that  she  was  always  ready  to  take  Giinther's 


184  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

part  against  her  daughter — for  wliich  he  showed 
her  much  gratitude. 

On  Shrove  Tuesday,  although  Clara  was  only 
a  little  hetter  after  her  severe  illness,  Giinther 
had  determined  to  have  his  boon-companions 
for  a  grand  carouse.  Clara  was  happy  that  the 
women  were  not  invited,  as  she  could  shut  her- 
self up  in  her  bed-room  with  her  mother,  and 
thus  be  spared  at  least  the  disgusting  sight  of 
the  drunken  men. 

And  well  it  was  for  her  not  to  be  present,  for 
the  orgies  were  wild  indeed  that  evening;  but 
her  mother  had  some  trouble  to  quiet  her  fears, 
when  she  heard  the  loud  and  angry  voices  of 
the  men,  added  to  the  smashing  of  plates  and 
glasses:  the  shouting  was  no  longer  that  of 
wild  folly,  but  of  ungovernable  rage.  The  two 
women  rushed  out  of  their  chamber :  two  men 
were  going  out  of  the  other  door:  the  house- 
proprietor  lay  on  the  floor,  and  Giinther  was 
beating  him  with  his  two  fists.  Clara  tried  to 
hold  her  husband's  arm,  for  the  blood  was  al- 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  185 

ready  flowing  over  the  forehead  of  the  prostrate 
man ;  her  mother  was  ready  to  lend  her  assist- 
ance, and,  with  the  joint  aid  of  the  two  women, 
he  got  out  of  the  door,  ^ow,  however,  Giin- 
ther  turned  his  rage  upon  his  wife  and  mother- 
in-law  ;  and  it  was  as  much  as  they  could  do  to 
save  themselves  in  their  bed-room.  He  was  not 
strong  enough  to  burst  the  lock,  and  amused 
himself  with  breaking  all  he  could  lay  his  hands 
upon  in  the  sitting-room. 

Clara  sat  weeping,  with  a  bloody  nose.  Giin- 
ther's  wild  blow  had  just  lighted  on  her  face. 
Her  mother  silently  bathed  it  for  her ;  this  last 
piece  of  wickedness  she  dared  not  try  to  exten- 
uate. Yes ;  she  was  obliged  patiently  to  listen 
to  her  daughter's  just  reproaches  for  the  manner 
in  which  she  had  always  palliated,  and  in  some 
sort  encouraged  her  husband's  faults.  In  her 
rage,  Clara  made  many  plans  for  the  future. 
At  all  events,  she  would  separate  from  this  man, 
from  whose  ill-treatment  she  could  never  feel 
secure.      She   would    resume  her  old  trade   of 


186  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

dress-making ;  she  would  rather  eat  bread  and 
salt,  etc.,  etc.  At  length  she  allowed  herself  to 
be  persuaded  by  her  mother,  and  lay  down  to 
rest;  for  as  they  heard  Gunther  snoring  in  the 
next  room,  they  might  count  upon  a  few  hours 
of  repose. 

The  next  morning  Clara  would  not  even  see 
her  husband ;  but  as  her  mother  was  deter- 
mined to  remain  neutral,  she  went  out,  lighted 
the  fire,  and  made  coffee.  Giinther  looked  at 
her  with  an  evil  conscience :  he  had  a  good  idea 
of  the  violence  he  had  been  guilty  of,  but  would 
not  confess  his  fault — ^he  found  it  much  easier  to 
shift  it  on  to  the  shoulders  of  the  two  women. 
For  the  future,  Clara  must  take  care  and  not 
put  her  nose  into  things  which  did  not  concern 
her,  and  then  she  would  not  come  in  for  any 
blows:  the  house-proprietor  had  treated  him 
most  shamefully,  and  well  merited  his  beating. 
The  mother  could  not  forbear  reminding  him  of 
Clara's  recent  illness,  and  that  she  had  never 
been  accustomed  to  such  treatment.     Giinther, 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  187 

however,  would  not  listen  to  any  thing,  but  per- 
sisted that  he  had  acted  perfectly  right. 

Clara  heard  every  word  through  the  open 
door,  and  she  felt  as  if  her  heart  would  break. 
With  this  man  she  could  not  possibly  live  !  But 
how  could  she  break  loose  from  him  ?  She  had 
not  a  soul  in  the  world  to  advise  or  help  her ! 
She  thought  of  Aunt  Rieka ;  but  had  she  not 
faithfully  warned  her  before  she  had  taken  the 
fatal  step !  Ifo ;  she  dared  not  go  to  her.  Be- 
sides, from  dread  of  her  husband's  anger,  she 
had  put  off  from  week  to  week  going  to  pay 
the  promised  visit  to  her  aunt :  and  now  she  felt 
it  was  too  late. 

It  was  a  sad  time  for  Clara  now.  That  Giin- 
ther  kept  quite  out  of  her  sight,  was  just  what 
she  wished ;  but  since  Shrove  Tuesday,  even  the 
few  women  of  her  acquaintance  had  not  come 
back  to  see  her,  and  she  felt  herself  quite  for- 
saken. And  often  lately  she  had  been  in  want 
of  money;  but  fortunately  her  mother  was  al- 
ways ready  to  go  begging  to  Giinther,  so  that 


188  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

they  were  not  in  actual  want  of  food.  This  last 
blessing  Clara's  mother  took  care  not  to  let  her 
forget:  "Your  husband  is  rich,  therefore,  he 
has  his  humors,  which  you  must  put  up  with. 
Your  father  treated  me  much  worse,  and  I  had 
often  to  sufier  hunger  as  well  as  his  hard  usage. 
You,  on  the  contrary,  can  live  well,  without  any 
care  or  anxiety,  and  need  not  soil  your  fingers." 
Clara  replied,  "  I  would  rather  eat  dry  bread  ; 
yes,  even  starve,  than  submit  to  such  treatment, 
and,  above  all,  lead  such  a  wretched  life ! " 
"  You  alone ! "  said  the  mother,  "  but  your  child  ? 
I  know  your  feelings ;  I  also  spoke  as  you  do 
now;  but  when  you  were  born  and  I  felt  ill  and 
weak — then  I  had  other  thoughts."  "  Yes ;  the 
child ! "  sighed  Clara :  and  that  thought  alone 
gave  her  patience.  Where  should  she  go,  with 
the  poor  little  creature  ?  She  had  hardly  been 
able  to  support  herself — ^how  could  she  nurse  the 
baby,  and  still  sew  for  it  and  herself!  She  swal- 
lowed many  an  insult,  and  even  tried  to  appear 
friendly;   because  she  discovered   that  nothing 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  189 

was  to  be  done  with  Giinther,  except  by  fair 
means.  And  when  he  came  home  drunk,  beat- 
ing and  scolding  every  one,  she  made  no  change 
in  her  manner  toward  him. 

She  had  been  once  more  at  St.  Stephen's 
Church,  immediately  after  the  sad  aifair  of 
Shrove  Tuesday  ;  the  extraordinary  feelings  she 
had  had  at  the  Christmas  sermon  came  back 
with  fall  force  to  her  mind. 

But  the  minister  was  particularly  serious  in 
his  discourse  this  time :  he  described  the  awful 
sufferings  endured  by  our  Lord  and  Savior,  in 
order  to  save  us  miserable,  wretched  sinners, 
from  everlasting  death.  He  then  proceeded  to 
describe  the  condition  of  an  unconverted  soul — 
the  constant  fears  and  disquietude  in  this  present 
life,  and  the  inevitable  punishment  from  the 
justice  of  God  in  the  next  world.  Clara  felt  so 
much  emotion  on  hearing  these  solemn  words  of 
warning  that  many  days  elapsed  before  she 
could  calm  down  her  feelings ;  and  she  felt  so 
glad,  when  time  and  occupation  seemed  to  efface 


190  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

the  remembrance  of  them,  that  she  had  not 
again  visited  the  church. 

Winter  passed  by,  and  spring  came  on  with 
its  buds  and  flowers ;  but  poor  Clara  did  not  see 
much  of  the  revival  of  nature,  for  she  had 
never  gone  to  walk  in  order  to  enjoy  flowers  and 
green  fields ;  and  Giinther  no  longer  brought  her 
to  the  fine  coffee-gardens — ^he  preferred  rushing 
ofl^"  alone  to  his  so-called  pleasures.  All  this 
was  different  to  the  life  Clara  had  planned  for 
herself  in  the  days  of  her  romance.  But  how 
could  it  be  otherwise?  The  honeymoon  love 
must  soon  evaporate  if  there  be  no  sure  foun- 
dation of  mutual  esteem,  and  respect,  for  it  to 
rest  and  expand  upon.  Real  conjugal  love  must 
grow  up  in  such  a  soil ;  the  passion  of  admira- 
tion is  mere  froth,  which  the  first  wind  of  ad- 
versity blows  away. 

One  evening,  in  the  beginning  of  May,  Clara 
sat  by  her  open  window  watching  the  gambols 
of  the  children  in  the  street.  One  of  her  neigh- 
bors was  returning  from  a  pleasant  walk  in  the 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  191 

fields — her  two  children  quite  laden  with  flow- 
ers, primroses,  tulips,  etc.,  etc.  Clara  was  so 
much  moved  at  the  pretty  sight,  that  she  also 
put  on  her  bonnet  and  shawl  and  wandered  out 
of  the  town. 

She  wended  her  way  direct  to  a  gardener's,  a 
distant  relation  of  her  mother's,  whom  she  had 
often  visited  with  her  Aunt  Rieka  and  Gretta, 
before  she  had  begun  to  find  her  pleasure  and 
satisfaction  in  concerts  and  coffee-gardens.  She 
felt  a  sensation  of  well-being  and  happiness  at 
sight  of  the  sweet-smelling  flowers  and  shrubs, 
which  had  long  been  a  stranger  to  her :  the 
little  birds  hopped  and  sung  in  the  bushes,  and 
a  nightingale  poured  forth  his  delicious  strains 
from  a  neighboring  chestnut-tree.  "  Oh !  how 
lovely  is  this  beautiful  world  of  God's  creating ! " 
sighed  Clara.  "  If  he  could  only  be  thy  God," 
said  she  to  herself! 

She  was  just  turning  into  a  retired  side-path, 
but  was  startled  out  of  her  way  by  seeing  Fritz 
Buchstein,  with  Gretta  by  his  side,  sitting  quite 


192  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

confidentially  in  an  arbor.  Fritz  had  his  arm 
round  her  waist,  and  she  had  a  wreath  of  white 
blossoms  in  her  hair :  she  looked  exactly  like  a 
bride. 

Then,  for  the  first  time,  Clara  remembered 
that  they  were  to  be  married  the  next  day. 
That  moved  her  beyond  measure.  She  sought 
a  quiet  corner  in  the  thicket,  and  there  gave 
free  course  to  her  tears.  She  did  not  weep  from 
envy;  no,  she  wept  tears  of  regret  and  grief 
over  her  own  sad  lot.  How  happy  must  Gretta 
be  by  the  side  of  an  honest,  upright  man ! 
"  Yes ;  uprightness  is  superior  to  the  very  finest 
manners,"  thought  she  now.  "  If  I  could  be- 
come upright  and  pious  in  all  my  ways,  perhaps 
I  should  be  happier !  But  how  shall  I  begin  ? 
Who  will  advise  me  ?  When  I  think  over  that 
last  sermon  I  feel  terrified,  wretched  and  miser- 
able, and  yet  I  cannot  forget  it ;  I  cannot  help 
myself."  She  slipped  quietly  out  of  the  garden ; 
took  a  branch  of  hawthorn  from  the  hedge,  and 
returned  to  her  comfortless  home  in  the  twilight. 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  193 

The  next  day  she  went  early  to  St.  Stephen's 
Church.  This  time  the  minister  preached  a  ser- 
mon adapted  to  the  spring,  in  which  he  illustra- 
ted the  beauty  of  the  spring — time  of  grace 
in  the  soul  of  the  believer.  Clara  was  very 
much  comforted  and  strengthened  by  this  ser- 
mon. "  The  Lord  is  good  and  gracious  toward 
all  men ;  perhaps  he  will  have  mercy  on  me,  and 
turn  away  the  misery  of  my  life.  He  invites  all 
sinners  ;  surely  he  will  not  cast  me  ofi"  utterly  ! 
But  how  shall  I  begin  to  come  to  Him  ?  And 
how  shall  he  help  me  ?  "  When  Clara  thought 
of  help,  she  considered  only  the  outward  troub- 
les: she  felt  that  Giinther  was  standing  upon 
the  brink  of  a  precipice,  and  that  he  would  drag 
her  down  with  himself.  Uneasiness  about  the 
present,  fear  for  the  future,  drove  her  to  seek  for 
help;  and  as  she  was  well  aware  that  she 
could  obtain  nothing  from  men,  she  was  desi- 
rous to  try  what  she  might  gain  from  heaven. 
The  sermon  of  to-day  gave  her  new  courage; 

the  preacher  who  had  spoken  such  sweet  loving 
13 


194  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

words,  had  completely  gained  lier;  and  her 
very  highest  wish  now  was  to  go  and  open  her 
whole  soul  to  him.  She  knew  of  no  one  to 
whom  she  could  unburthen  her  mind  unless  to 
him;  for  she  had  always  received  the  serious 
speeches  and  exhortations  of  her  Aunt  Eieka 
with  indifference  or  scorn ;  and  she  felt  herself 
quite  unable  to  disclose  her  sorrows,  or  confess 
her  faults  to  this  aunt  who  had  foreseen,  and 
faithfully  warned  her  of  all. 

"While  the  last  verse  was  singing,  the  congre- 
gation had  gradually  dispersed :  a  few  only  had 
assembled  in  the  choir  to  see  Fritz  and  Gretta 
married.  Clara  also  stepped  forward :  real  up- 
right sympathy  in  Gretta's  happiness  induced 
her  to  assume  the  part  of  spectator  in  the  cere- 
mony. Strange  thoughts  came  over  her  as  she 
stood  there.  "Where  Gretta  now  stands,  I 
might  have  stood ;  and  what  a  husband  he  will 
make !  "  Yes ;  Clara  had  already  admired  him, 
and  thought  him  too  good  for  Gretta,  but  in  her 
folly  and  blindness  she  had  despised  him,  and 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  195 

cast  back  the  warm  language  of  Ms  heart  with 
scorn.  I^ow  he  stood  there,  looking  so  hand- 
some, so  manly,  and  so  mild !  The  tears  started 
to  Clara's  eyes,  her  heart  was  moved,  and 
when  the  minister  requested  the  congregation  to 
pray  for  the  young  couple,  she  folded  her  hands, 
and,  for  the  first  time  in  her  life,  offered  up  an 
earnest  prayer  to  God.  "When  Fritz  met  her 
friend]}^  sympathizing  gaze,  a  joyful  surprise 
filled  his  bosom,  for  though  he  had  devoted  his 
entire  heart  to  Gretta,  he  felt  as  if  Clara's  soul 
must  be  united  to  his : — all  the  ardent  prayers  of 
his  youth  would  not  surely  be  lost :  she  must  be 
saved — and  they  would  yet  praise  God  together 
to  all  eternity,  where  there  would  be  "  neither 
marrying  nor  giving  in  marriage." 

Clara  was  turning  in  her  mind  the  possibility 
of  making  the  acquaintance  of  the  minister, 
and  how  she  would  set  about  it.  Her  baby  was 
born  about  the  end  of  June,  and  she  thought 
the  baptism  of  her  little  daughter  would  be  a 


196  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

good  opportunity  to  talk  to  the  minister  about 
the  state  of  her  soul. 

Giinther  seemed  quite  changed  in  his  manner 
to  his  wife;  she  was  as  beautiful  as  ever,  and 
the  little  girl  had  got  her  mother's  large  blue 
eyes  and  fine  features.  He  was  proud  of  both, 
and  brought  home  splendid  presents  to  them, 
and  when  they  were  alone  together,  he  even 
asked  pardon  for  his  past  bad  conduct,  and 
promised  her  a  golden  future ;  giving  her,  at  the 
same  time,  to  understand  that  she  would  have 
soon  to  change  her  dwelling ;  and  inquired  how 
old  the  baby  must  be  before  it  would  be  able  to 
take  a  long  journey. 

Clara  might  again  have  indulged  in  fine 
dreams  for  the  future,  but  she  had  become  wise 
by  dear-bought  experience ;  and  Giinther's  eyes 
were  at  times  so  unsteady,  his  words  so  mysteri- 
ous, that  she  actually  felt  afraid  when  he  was 
near. 

When  baby  was  five  weeks  old,  it  was  bap- 
tized in  St.  Stephen's  Church.     Giinther  had  no- 


ABOVE    HER   STATION.  197 

thing  against  the  proposal ;  indeed,  he  scarcely 
heard  what  was  said  when  the  question  was  put 
to  him.  But  he  firmly  refused  to  allow  Gretta 
to  be  godmother — he  would  not  allow  Clara  to 
have  any  thing  to  do  with  those  people :  howev- 
er, Clara  persisted  in  having  her  own  way  with 
regard  to  the  name,  so  she  called  her  little 
daughter  Gretta. 

On  Clara's  birthday  the  little  one  slept  peace- 
fully in  his  cradle  beside  the  mother.  The 
birthday-table  stood  before  the  sofa :  Giinther 
had  adorned  it  with  flowers  and  cakes  in  the 
morning;  and  besides  that,  he  had  given  her 
thirty  dollars,  with  the  injunction  to  keep  them 
safely,  as  she  would  need  them  soon.  Clara  had 
heard  this  injunction  so  often,  that  she  paid  no 
further  attention  to  it  than  putting  the  money 
away  in  her  work-box.  The  twilight  was  ap- 
proaching: she  sat  by  the  open  window;  the  air 
was  heavy  in  the  room,  as  it  had  been  a  very 
close  day.  Her  thoughts  were  very  serious :  she 
had  become  suddenly  so  much  happier  than  for- 


198  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

merly — Giintlier  was  so  much  clianged — had 
God  indeed  heard  her  prayers?  Her  heart  was 
turned  to  thankfulness,  and  she  made  the  vow, 
that  if  God  would  continue  her  happiness,  she 
would  become  religious  and  stead}^.  Involunta- 
rily, she  placed  her  happiness  solely  upon  out- 
ward circumstances. 

"With  much  astonishment,  she  saw  Mr.  Rein- 
hard  and  two  men  come  quickly  across  the  street 
toward  her  dwelling.  Wondering  what  was  to 
come  next,  she  went  to  meet  them. 

"Where  is  your  husband?"  asked  Mr.  Eein- 
hard,  hastily. 

"  I  thought  he  was  at  the  hotel,"  said  Clara, 
embarrassed,  "  and  have  been  expecting  him 
every  moment.  To-day  is  my  birthday,"  added 
she,  pointing  to  the  gaily-adorned  table ;  "  and 
he  intended  to  take  a  walk  with  me." 

"  The  rascal ! "  grumbled  Reinhard ;  and  Clara 
sank  back  upon  her  seat,  quite  startled.  "  You 
must  permit  me  to  open  the  escritoire,'^  continued 


ABOVE    HER  STATION.  199 

Reinhard ;  and  commenced  trying  the  keys  in 
the  lock. 

Clara  hegged  Mr.  Reinhard,  with  tears,  to  ex- 
plain to  her  what  had  happened  ;  and  Mr.  Rein- 
hard  told  her,  not  very  politely,  that  Giinther 
had  swindled  him  out  of  at  least  ten  thousand 
dollars — that  he  had  taken  a  most  shameful  ad- 
vantage of  the  confidence  reposed  in  him — that 
he  had  forged  his  handwriting,  used  his  seal, 
passed  false  notes,  and  was  most  probably  now 
on  his  road  to  America.  Clara,  quite  overcome 
with  this  news,  wept  aloud.  Mrs.  Krauter  ar- 
rived just  then,  and  increased  the  noise  and 
confusion  by  her  wailing. 

They  found  nothing  in  the  escritoire.  Clara 
told  them  that  Giinther  had  burned  a  number  of 
what  he  called  useless  papers  very  lately. 

Whilst  many  more  persons  assembled  to  wit- 
ness the  proceedings  of  the  above-mentioned 
persons,  and  the  little  Gretta  had  been  rudely 
roused  from  her  slumbers  by  the  noise  and  con- 


200  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

fusion,  the  letter-carrier  came  with  a  letter  for 
Clara.     Hastily  she  broke  the  seal,  and  read  : — 

"  Dear  Clara !  I  write  in  great  haste.  When 
you  receive  these  lines  I  shall  be  very  near  Ham- 
burg, from  whence  I  start  immediately  by  the 
steamer  for  London,  and  then  to  America. 
Pack  up  your  things  quickly — no  one  can  dis- 
pute your  dowry — and  come  to  Hamburg  with 
our  little  Gretta.  In  the  Suburbs,  St.  Paul,  No. 
10,  you  will  meet  with  a  friendly  reception  upon 
giving  your  name — at  the  same  time,  learn  all 
particulars ;  and  a  comfortable  passage  to  Amer- 
ca  will  be  provided  for  you.  I  entreat  you  not 
to  forsake  me.  I  cannot  live  without  you  and 
our  child.  I  shall  receive  you  with  open  arms, 
and  introduce  you  into  our  hotel.  There  you 
will  live  like  a  princess,  and  soon  forget  the  beg- 
gary which  now  presses  so  hard  upon  you. 

"  You  will  come !   I  doubt  not :   and  remain 

for  ever,  your 

"Edward  Gijntiier." 

Clara  involuntarily  allowed  the  letter  to  be 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  201 

read  by  Mr.  Reinhard.  He  became  more  furious 
when  lie  learned  that  the  deceiver  had  escaped 
him,  and  asked  Clara,  with  bitter  words,  her 
opinion  of  the  proposal.  She  declared  that  she 
would  rather  starve  with  her  child  than  follow 
this  man.  "When  Mr.  Reinhard  discovered  that 
Clara  was  altogether  ignorant  of  the  matter, 
when  he  saw  how  much  she  suffered,  he  assumed 
a  milder  tone  toward  her ;  but  she  was  obliged 
to  quit  her  dwelling,  and  leave  all  the  furniture 
behind,  because  she  could  not  deny  that  Giinther 
had  bought  it  all.  She  was  only  allowed  to  take 
away  the  little  bed  for  her  child,  her  own  clothes, 
and  a  few  small  articles. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

CLAEA  again  sat  in  her  mother's  little  room. 
The  two  j'ears  she  had  been  absent  from  it 
appeared  to  her  like  a  dream — a  dream  which 
had  begun  in  levity  and  vain-glory,  and  ended  in 
want  and  misery.  The  sultry  days  were  follow- 
ed by  storms,  which  were  now  changed  to  gentle 
rain;  but  notwithstanding  the  rain,  the  mother 
had  gone  out  to  make  some  purchases,  because 
her  house  was  altogether  empty — for  she  was  in 
excellent  spirits  ever  since  Clara  had  let  her  see 
the  thirty  dollars  in  her  work-box.  She  lived 
only  in  the  present,  and  said  the  Lord  will  pro- 
vide for  the  future. 

She  often  had  the  name  of  the  Lord  in  her 
mouth,  even  though  she  may  not  have  had  Him 
in  her  heart. 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  203 

Clara  was  in  very  low  spirits.  She  sat  at  the 
window,  looking  upon  the  gray  wet  houses  and 
the  falling  drops  of  rain  :  "  What  will  the  neigh- 
bors say,  when  they  see  you  here  again,  a  vic- 
tim of  want  and  shame  ? "  said  she,  to  herself. 
"  What  will  Agusta  Yogler  say,  w^ho  has 
often  visited  me  in  my  nice  home,  and  envied 
me  its  splendor  and  riches?  What  will  Aunt 
Rieka  say,  who  long  ago  predicted  all  these  mis- 
fortunes? But  surely  she  will  be  sorry  for  me  ? 
She  told  my  mother  she  was  gratified  at  my  call- 
ing the  baby  Gretta,  and  pleased  to  see  me  in 
the  church." 

"  Yes,  St.  Stephen's  Church !  It  has  been  of 
no  service  to  me  :  God  has  not  heard  my  prayer. 
Pie  has  sent  the  punishment  which  I  have  so  well 
merited;  He  is  a  just  Godl"  Clara  could  not 
raise  her  eyes,  but  her  whole  life  passed  before 
her  mind ;  the  two  last  years  seemed  a  long  pe- 
riod. 

It  was  just  about  this  time  two  years  ago,  that 
Fritz   Buchstein  returned, — when  she  regarded 


204  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

him  with  contempt,  and  was  anxious  to  obtain 
the  medical  student.  She  knew  now  that  coarse 
and  godless  men  could  act  very  roughly  toward 
their  wives,  though  their  language  was  very  soft 
and  sweet  before  matrimony.  She  had  the  ex- 
perience that  there  was  no  joy  in  fine  clothes,  nor 
an  easy  life,  when  the  heart  is  heavy  and  full  of 
grief.  She  recalled  to  mind  the  life  she  had  led 
with  Madame  von  Trautstein,  and  the  crimes 
her  levity  had  caused  her  to  commit ;  she  cover- 
ed her  face  with  both  hands,  she  felt  so  full  of 
shame.  How  differently  she  now  thought  about 
the  Count — that  light-minded  dishonorable  man, 
who  had  nearly  ruined  her  altogether ;  yes,  she 
felt  as  if  God  alone  had  kept  her  from  a  still 
deeper  fall  and  outward  scandal.  She  also  re- 
called to  mind  with  what  levity  she  had  cast 
herself  into  the  power  of  Giinther,  of  whose  bad 
and  heartless  character  she  had  received  timely 
warning  from  her  aunt.  She  was  foolish  enough 
then  to  believe  that  if  she  had  but  riches  and 
outward  comforts,  she  would   be  happy.     But 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  205 

how  very  miserable  and  comfortless  she  had 
felt  herself  beside  him,  even  from  the  first  j  and 
had  he  not  now  destroyed  her  future  peace  and 
happiness  here  on  earth  ?  But  a  joyful  thought 
came  to  her  mind — God  can  still  help  me !  Her 
aunt  had  often  told  her,  that  present  trials  and 
sorrows  were  no  misfortune,  because  they  are  very 
often  the  means  which  God  takes  to  make  us  val- 
ue and  seek  true  everlasting  joy  and  happiness. 
She  glanced  at  her  sleeping  babe,  and  felt  a  pre- 
sentiment of  higher  joy  than  earthly  pleasures 
had  yet  oft'ered  to  her.  "To  live  to  work  for 
that  sweet  child  shall  henceforward  be  my  joy 
and  comfort ! "  O  how  sweetly  it  stretched  out 
its  little  arms,  and  opened  its  soft  eyes !  Clara 
took  it  in  her  bosom,  and  forgot  all  her  cares  : 
she  determined  to  overcome  all  shame,  and  go 
the  very  next  day  to  seek  work  in  her  old  trade 
as  dress-maker :  the  thirty  dollars  were  to  be 
saved,  in  order  that  her  child  would  want  for 
nothing. 

But  it  was  ordered  otherwise.     Clara's  delicate 


206  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

frame  had  received  such  a  shock  that  she  was 
unable  to  leave  her  bed  the  next  morning ;  and 
her  disorder  was  soon  discovered  to  be  brain- 
fever.  For  days  she  was  insensible :  she  knew 
not  that  her  life  had  been  despaired  of.  At 
length  the  crisis  was  past,  and  she  was  again 
conscious.  Aunt  Rieka  and  Gretta  cautiously 
approached  her  bed :  she  was  too  weak  to 
speak ;  she  smiled  her  thanks  to  them.  Her 
baby  was  brought  to  her :  she  felt  so  happy  to 
see  it ;  from  day  to  day  she  became  stronger, 
and  felt  as  if  she  was  new-born. 

And  was  she  not  ?  A  time  of  convalescence 
is  often  a  time  of  rich  blessing.  Aunt  Rieka 
knew  this,  and  took  advantage  of  it :  the  heart 
is  then  tender,  and  the  good  seed  can  take  root. 
Mrs.  Bendler  spoke  words  of  comfort  and  en- 
couragement to  the  invalid,  and  Clara  heard 
her  gladly.  She  did  not  reproach  her  for  her 
former  life  of  levity  and  sin — no ;  she  was  now 
to  live  in  the  present,  and  for  the  future.  And 
the  minister  of  St.  Stephen's  Church  came  to  see 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  207 

her,  as   she  had  told  her  aunt  of  her  ardeut 
desire  to  talk  to  him.     Warm  and  deep  were 
the  words  of  grace  and  love  which  he  delivered 
to  her  from  the  Lord :  they  sank  deeply  into 
her  heart,  and  in  God's  own  time  brought  forth 
their  fruit.     Clara  learned  to  know  her  Savior : 
she  felt  that,  in  spite  of  all  her  sins  and  short- 
comings, she  could  go  and  cast  herself  and  her 
burthens   at  his   feet:  she  felt  that   the  world 
could  never  offer  her  any  thing  comparable  to 
His  great  love  !     Sad  remembrances  of  the  past 
would  come  at  times  to  disturb  her  peace  and 
joy;  but  when   she  saw  her  aunt  and  Gretta, 
only  weak  mortals  like  herself,  returning  all  her 
scorn  and   levity   with  love   and  kindness,  she 
could  not  help  feeling  that  the  great  and  good 
Savior   was   also   full   of  mercy,   and    that  He 
would  receive  her :  though  her  sins  had  been  as 
scarlet,  they  should  be  as  wool.     Yes ;  she  felt 
that  His  blood  and  righteousness  were  all-suf- 
ficient, even  for  her. 

Clara  sometimes  felt  as  if  she  would  like  to 


208  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

know  if  Fritz  Buchstein  despised  her  very 
much ;  she  would  have  wished  to  let  him  see  she 
was  really  sorry  and  humbled  at  having  treated 
him  so  badly.  But  she  could  not  ask  after  him ! 
Gretta  told  her  that  he  only  awaited  her  permis- 
sion to  come  and  see  her;  she  had  scarcely 
power  to  say  he  would  be  welcome. 

Soon  after,  Clara  was  sitting  alone  with  her 
child;  the  door  opened,  and  Fritz  stepped  in. 
Clara  rose  up,  startled  from  her  seat,  but  Fritz 
made  her  sit  down  again,  and  most  kindly  wish- 
ed her  a  good  evening.  She  could  not  stand  his 
mild  sympathizing  look :  her  heart  overflowed ; 
she  took  his  hand  in  both  of  hers,  and  wept  bit- 
terly. That  was  too  much  for  Fritz ;  he  turned 
quickly  to  the  window.  The  hand  which  she 
had  watered  with  her  tears  he  placed  next  his 
heart,  and  prayed  God  to  grant  him  strength^ 
Then,  strong  in  his  God,  he  sat  down  beside  her, 
spoke  words  of  comfort,  but  asked  her  chiefly 
about  her  outward  circumstances.  Clara  feared 
lest  she  had  shown  too  much  feeling,  and  with 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  209 

an  effort  contrived  to  suppress  all  signs  of  emo- 
tion. The  little  Gretta  was  a  fruitful  source  of 
conversation.  Her  Aunt  Rieka  and  Gretta 
came  in  just  then,  and  Clara  breathed  more 
freely.  Aunt  Rieka  spoke  with  Fritz  about 
Clara's  wish  to  have  her  separation  from  Giinth- 
er  drawn  out  at  the  lawyer's  as  soon  as  possible 
— and  this,  considering  the  provocation  she  had 
received,  could  not  be  difficult.  Then  Clara 
talked  about  her  plans :  how  she  would  again 
commence  sewing,  and,  with  God's  help,  provide 
for  herself  and  her  child.  With  these  words  she 
pressed  her  baby  to  her  heart ;  but  she  did  not 
observe  how  very  sadly  her  aunt's  looks  rested 
upon  the  poor  little  thing,  whose  large  blue  eyes 
shone  so  pensively  from  the  pale  thin  cheeks. 
The  serious  illness  of  the  mother  had  naturally 
a  very  bad  effect  upon  the  child,  and  every  one 
saw  plainly  that  it  was  sinking.  Clara  alone 
could  not  believe  her  child  was  in  danger. 

The  next  Sabbath  she  went  to  St.  Stephen's 

Church  for  the  first  time  since  her  illness.    Her 
14 


210  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

heart  was  full  of  thankfulness  to  God,  for  she 
could  approach  the  throne  of  grace  in  full  con- 
fidence now.  Her  wishes  and  desires  were  cen- 
tered in  the  grace  and  love  of  God,  not  in  earth- 
ly things — as  was  formerly  the  case. 

Her  first  journey  to  the  town  was  a  difficult 
one.  She  told  no  one  she  was  going  to  Madame 
von  Trautstein;  that  lady  against  whom  she 
had  sinned  most,  whose  goodness  and  friendship 
she  had  rewarded  with  deception  and  ingrati- 
tude: her  forgiveness  she  felt  she  must  ask. 
With  a  beating  heart  she  ascended  the  stairs, 
and  rung  at  the  door.  The  old  servant,  who 
had  always  been  friendly  to  her,  gave  her"  cour- 
age by  the  kindness  of  his  manner.  While  he 
went  to  tell  his  mistress  that  Clara  was  there, 
she  stood  alone  in  the  ante-room.  There  was 
the  work-table  at  the  window,  with  the  well-re- 
membered work-basket !  As  she  stood  there,  so 
changed,  recalling  to  mind  all  her  vanity  and  all 
her  idle  plans  for  the  future,  a  blush  of  shame 
passed  over  her  features.      How   quickly  had 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  211 

these  mad  plans  for  future  greatness  been  ex- 
changed for  real  misery!  She  dreaded  the 
serious  words  of  her  old  mistress,  and  yet  she 
longed  to  unbosom  herself  to  her — ^to  cast  herself 
at  her  feet. 

During  this  interval,  Madame  von  Trautstein 
was  reasoning  with  herself  whether  she  would 
admit  Clara  or  not.  She  had  heard  of  Clara's 
misfortunes,  and  thought  she  had  merited  them 
all,  and  believed  now  that  nothing  but  want 
and  beggary  had  driven  her  to  seek  her  out 
at  that  time.  She  felt  ashamed  of  this  hard 
thought,  however,  before  the  old  servant,  who 
had  mentioned  Clara  with  so  much  sympathy, 
and  never  seemed  to  doubt  that  she  would  be 
admitted ;  so  she  said,  yes. 

Clara  could  scarcely  speak  at  first  from  fear ; 
she  took  the  old  lady's  hand  and  kissed  it  in  si- 
lence. Madame  von  Trautstein  said  coldly ;  "  I 
have  heard  of  your  misfortunes,  and  am  sorry 
for  you." 

"  I  am  not  unhappy  now,  gracious  lady,"  in- 


212  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

terrupted  Clara,  modestly,  "not  nearly  so  un- 
happy as  I  was  when  in  your  service."  The 
lady  looked  surprised,  and  Clara  continued :  "  I 
have  bitterly  repented  of  my  levity,  and  hope, 
with  the  help  of  God,  to  become  a  new  crea- 
ture; and  the  very  first  desire  of  my  heart, 
with  regard  to  my  fellow-creatures,  was  to  come 
and  ask  your  forgiveness  for  my  past  conduct ; 
and  I  hardly  dare  expect  it ;  for,  oh !  I  was  so 
bad,  I  even  stole  from  you  ! " 

Clara  could  not  speak  farther :  the  kind  old 
lady  was  so  much  moved  by  this  unexpected 
scene,  that  her  whole  manner  changed  suddenly, 
and  she  assured  the  pale,  suffering  young  wo- 
man of  her  full,  heartfelt  forgiveness.  She  con- 
versed farther  with  Clara — asked  her  what  plans 
she  had  for  the  future;  and  when  she  heard 
that  she  intended  to  sew  for  her  support,  she 
provided  work  for  her  herself,  and  offered  to 
recommend  her  to  new  customers. 

Clara  was  much  moved  with  this  unexpected 
goodness,  and  thanked  God  for  it,  as  an  answer 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  213 

to  her  prayers ;  but  she  said ;  "  Madame  von 
Trautstein,  you  must  first  prove  my  sincerity, 
before  you  can  trust  me  to  come  into  your  house 
to  work  for  you." 

This  sincere  repentance  made  the  old  lady 
more  friendly,  and  Clara  parted  from  her  full  of 
hope  for  the  future.  But  God  was  going  to 
teach  her  to  lean  on  Him  alone — not  even  to 
trust  to  the  help  of  the  good  and  pious :  He  had 
still  a  thorny  path  to  lead  her  through. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

¥IIEN"  Clara  returned  home  and  took  her 
baby  from  her  mother,  she  observed,  for 
the  first  time,  that  it  did  not  look  like  other 
children  of  the  same  age.  A  cold  shudder 
passed  through  her  frame  as  she  saw  the  pale 
thin  cheeks,  the  large  eyes ;  and,  grasping  the 
little  thin  wasted  hand,  she  gazed  beseechingly 
up  to  heaven.  "  No  !  God  will  not  try  me  thus 
—  I  could  never  bear  this  blow.  Perhaps  He 
will  try  my  faith :  I  will  never  cease  to  pray  for 
my  darling ! " 

She  asked  her  mother  and  her  aunt  if  there 
was  danger  for  the  child ;  and  felt  a  little  com- 
forted when  they  said  that  it  sometimes  happen- 
ed that  weak  children,  if  they  survived  the  first 
year,  got  on  as  well  as  the  strong  ones  afterward. 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  215 

"  Ah ! "  said  she,  "  I  will  tend  it  and  care  for  it 
so  carefully,  if  God  will  only  bless  the  means." 

But  it  was  a  hard  trial  to  her  to  be  obliged  to 
leave  her  little  one  to  the  care  of  her  mother, 
when  she  went  out  to  sew.  She  had,  however, 
no  other  resource :  the  thirty  dollars  were  ex- 
pended, and  they  had  nothing  but  her  hands  to 
depend  on  for  daily  bread.  She  had  soon  as 
much  work  to  do  as  she  could  manage,  and  her 
mother  was  very  happy  at  that,  though  the 
profits  only  reached  from  hand  to  mouth — Mrs. 
Krauter  having  never  been  in  the  habit  of  look- 
ing farther. 

Clara's  life  was  now  very  uniform.  On  week- 
days she  sewed  in  the  houses,  and  went  every 
Sabbath  to  St.  Stephen's  Church,  spending  the 
rest  of  the  day  with  her  child.  One  trouble 
which  weighed  heavily  upon  her  mind,  the  legal 
separation  from  her  wicked  husband,  Ood  him- 
self had  rid  her  of.  The  ship  in  which  Giinther 
sailed  was  lost,  and  he  and  his  ill-gotten  money 
found  one  grave  in  the  English  Channel.     So 


216  ABOVE   HER  STATIOIT. 

she  might  have  lived  on  without  care  in  her  pres- 
ent quiet  mode  of  life,  and  become  every  day 
happier,  if  she  had  not  been  worn  with  anxiety 
about  the  health  of  her  baby.  Her  faith  was 
still  young  and  weak :  she  was  not  able,  like 
Abraham,  to  offer  her  heart's  treasure  willingly 
— to  say,  "  Lord,  here  am  I ! " 

It  was  the  first  Sunday  of  Advent.  Clara 
had  been  early  in  the  church,  and  had  returned 
quite  refreshed  from  the  good  and  faithful  ser- 
mon she  had  heard,  to  enjoy  her  Sabbath's  re- 
pose. Her  mother  had  gone  to  her  Aunt 
Rieka's,  and  she  sat  alone  with  her  sleeping 
baby  upon  her  knee.  The  snow  fell  thickly  and 
fast ;  Clara  felt  as  if  she  could  see  into  heaven 
through  the  white  canopy ;  her  whole  heart  was 
filled  with  a  sensation  and  confidence  in  God, 
quite  new  to  her.  "  0  great  God,"  said  she ; 
*'  do  thou  keep  and  preserve  the  present  feelings 
of  my  heart !  I  feel  that  I  am  thine — that  I 
can  give  up  even  my  dearest  earthly  treasure." 
She  looked  at  her  fading  baby,  but  felt  a  blessed 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  217 

light  in  her  soul.  The  little  Gretta  opened  her 
heavy  eyes ;  her  mother  pressed  her  to  her  heart 
and  sighed :  "Oh  Lord,  do  thou  give  me  strength : 
I  am  weak,  very  weak  !  "  She  felt  that  her  baby 
must  die,  and  her  heart  was  ready  to  bow  itself 
to  the  will  of  the  most  High. 

But  after  these  happy  Sabbath  hours  followed 
many  a  weary  anxious  one.  Praying,  hoping, 
and  various  means  were  tried  to  save,  if'possible, 
the  dear  child.  She  believed  that  her  own  care 
and  watching  were  needed,  and  therefore  she 
did  not  go  out  to  sew,  which  made  her  mother 
angry ;  for  though  Clara  tried  her  best  to  work 
at  home,  yet  the  old  woman  soon  observed  on 
the  coffee  that  they  had  no  longer  so  much  mon- 
ey. For  hours,  Clara  would  carry  her  sick  child 
in  her  arms,  or  sink  down  with  weakness  from 
watching  and  weeping,  quite  unable  to  put  in  a 
stitch. 

All  went  on  pretty  w^ell  till  about  fourteen 
days  before  Christmas.  They  had  not  been  in 
want  of   food  or  any  thing  else,  but  the  mild 


218  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

weather  suddenly  changed  to  extreme  cold,  and 
the  want  of  wood  was  bitterly  felt.  Clara  did 
not  dare  to  ask  her  Aunt  Rieka  for  any  help, 
because  she  had  herself  been  the  cause  of  her 
own  misfortunes;  neither  had  her  mother  the 
courage  to  go  to  beg  for  aid,  for  her  sister  had 
paid  her  rent  for  her.  So  they  settled  that,  for 
the  present,  they  would  help  themselves  by  sell- 
ing some  of  Clara's  finery,  which  she  would  not 
wear  again  for  any  money.  Mrs.  Krauter  was 
quite  contented  with  this  arrangement.  She 
thought  that  for  a  few  weeks  that  would  suffice 
— ^for  longer  the  poor  little  worm  could  not  live ; 
and  then  Clara  would  again  be  industrious  at  her 
needle,  and  their  want  would  be  at  an  end. 
The  black  silk  mantle  and  the  velvet  bonnet 
took  the  lead,  and  were  speedily  followed  by 
other  trifles,  for  which,  however,  they  received 
very  little ;  and  as  they  had  to  keep  up  a  fire 
both  night  and  day,  beside  buying  food,  medi- 
cine, etc.,  the  purse  was  soon  as  empty  as  before, 
and,  the  third  day  after  Christmas,  Clara  stood 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  219 

in  despair  before  her  empty  commode.  She 
found  still  a  few  trifles,  which  she  felt  almost 
ashamed  to  offer  for  sale;  but  her  mother  re- 
turned with  a  dollar,  which  she  had  got  for 
them.  The  worst  feature  about  selling  this  fine- 
ry was,  that  she  had  nothing  solid  left  in 
place  of  it.  A  woolen  shawl  was  the  only  piece 
of  muffling  she  possessed,  and  during  the  mild 
weather  it  was  quite  enough ;  but  now,  in  the 
intense  cold,  she  had  neither  a  warm  dress  nor  a 
mantle,  and  could  scarcely  bear  to  leave  the 
warm  room. 

But  even  the  room  could  no  longer  be  kept 
warm.  On  Sylvester  morning,  Mrs.  Krauter  re- 
mained in  bed,  in  order  to  keep  herself  from 
freezing ;  and  Clara  went  into  the  wood-cellar  to 
see  if  she  could  find  even  a  few  chips  to  make 
their  cup  of  coft'ee,  and  a  little  food  for  the  ba- 
by ;  but  there  was  not  enough  to  heat  the  stove, 
so  as  to  warm  the  room.  Clara  never  thought 
about  the  cold  for  herself,  but  the  baby  must  be 
kept  warm :  she  took  her  only  flannel  petticoat, 


220  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

and  made  a  covering  of  it  for  the  child ;  then, 
wrapping  it  up  still  closer  in  her  warm  shawl, 
she  walked  up  and  down  the  cold  room  with  it. 
In  order  to  have  something  under  her  thin  mus- 
lin dress,  she  put  on  the  flounced  petticoat  of 
her  girlish  days,  which,  from  washing  and  wear, 
had  become  so  thin  as  to  be  hardly  good  enough 
for  lining,  and  had  been  cast  aside  in  a  corner 
among  rags.  She  argued  with  herself  whether 
she  would  go  to  her  aunt's  or  not,  or  rather  to 
Buchstein's ;  for  her  aunt  had  been  stopping  there 
for  the  last  eight  days,  attending  Gretta,  who 
had  been  very  ill.  At  length  she  resolved  to 
go:  the  poverty  was  great;  the  room  became 
colder  and  colder;  the  mother  was  craving  for 
food,  and  both  she  and  her  child  were  hungry. 
If  she  had  but  strength  to  pray !  she  was  weak 
and  faint;  she  could  not  raise  herself;  and  bore 
all  this  misery  as  a  well-merited  punishment. 

The  north  wind  blew  through  her  thin  cloth- 
ing, as  trembling  from  cold  and  weakness,  she 
entered  Buchstein's  house.    Fritz  was  in  the  act 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  221 

of  taking  from  the  hand  of  the  apprentice  a 
basket  of  wood  and  shavings,  which  had  been 
gathered  in  the  workshop.  Clara  looked  upon 
the  basket  with  longing  in  her  eyes.  Fritz,  who 
understood  every  look  of  Clara's,  knew  well 
what  she  meant.  He  felt  for  her;  she  is  in 
want,  thought  he ;  she  looks  pale  and  wretched ; 
she  has  been  forgotten. 

He  led  her  into  the  room.  Gretta  had  quitted 
her  bed  for  the  first  time,  and  sat  in  the  arm- 
chair wrapped  up  in  blankets.  Father  Buch- 
stein  and  Aunt  Rieka  sat  beside  her,  and  re- 
joiced to  see  her  so  far  restored  ;  but  they  were 
not  without  anxiety,  for  her  cough  was  very  se- 
vere, and  the  symptoms  rather  alarming.  Aunt 
Rieka  was  startled  on  seeing  Clara  enter  the 
room,  looking  like  a  picture  of  misery  and  want. 
Fritz  placed  a  chair  near  the  stove  for  her,  and 
she  sat  down,  her  limbs  still  trembling  with  the 
cold.  "How  are  you?"  asked  her  aunt  with 
anxiety. 


222  ABOVE   HUE,  STATION. 

"  My  motlier  is  in  bed,  and  my  baby — '* 
Here  her  feelings  choked  her  utterance. 

"  Why  have  you  not  put  on  a  cloak  ?  "  contin- 
ued her  aunt.  "How  are  you  dressed?"  lifting 
involuntarily  her  gown,  and  the  well-known 
flounced  petticoat.  "Mercy  on  me !  not  more  than 
that.  Why  have  you  no  flannel  petticoat? "  said 
her  aunt !  Clara  covered  her  face  with  her  hands, 
and  sobbing,  said,  "  I  have  none !  I  have  no- 
thing !  nothing ! "  Fritz  went  to  the  window ; 
he  could  not  restrain  his  tears.  Gretta  begged 
her  aunt  to  get  some  warm  clothing  for  Clara ; 
but  the  latter  said,  weeping  bitterly :  "  Oh,  no- 
thing for  me ;  only  a  little  wood  and  a  morsel  to 
eat  for  my  mother  and  my  child  ! " 

Fritz  ran  out  of  the  room ;  the  basket  of  wood 
stood  still  in  its  place  ;  all  that  he  could  find  in 
the  larder  he  packed  into  it,  and  hastened  to 
Clara's  house.  What  a  scene  he  beheld  there  ! 
empty  and  cold ;  the  baby  crying,  the  grand- 
mother lamenting!  With  trembling  hands  he 
lighted  a  fire,  put  on  the  kettle,  and  when  Aunt 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  223 

Rieka,  with  the  now  warmly-clad  Clara,  entered 
the  room,  the  latter  had  the  comfort  of  hearing 
the  wood  crackling  in  the  stove.  She  gazed 
upon  him  with  humility  and  gratitude  ;  he  could 
not  stand  that  look  because  his  conscience 
reproached  him  for  having  left  her  in  want. 
True,  Gretta  had  been  very  ill,  and  much  of  his 
time  had  been  taken  up  with  nursing  her,  but 
he  did  not  think  of  this  now — his  neglect  of 
Clara  and  her  mother  was  a  burthen  on  his 
mind. 

Fritz  sat  quite  alone  that  night  to  watch  in 
the  new  year,  for  his  father  was  now  very  deli- 
cate, and  Aunt  Rieka  quite  exhausted  with 
watching  Gretta  during  her  illness.  The  past 
came  vividly  before  his  mind.  It  was  just  two 
years  since  he  had  spoken  the  words  of  warning 
to  Clara — how  all  had  changed  since  then  !  He 
felt  thankful  that  the  Lord  had  heard  his 
prayers.  By  the  side  of  his  faithful  Gretta  he 
had  found  comfort  for  all  the  sorrows  of  his 
heart;    and  even  though  remembrances  of  his 


224  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

youthful  love  would  sometimes  return  to  his 
mind,  they  were  wholly  unaccompanied  by  pain- 
ful emotions.  Clara  had  become  estranged  to 
the  world,  and  was  won  for  heaven.  Fritz  prayed 
earnestly  that  God  would  preserve  and  guide 
them  all  in  the  straight  and  narrow  way  that 
leadeth  unto  life  eternal,  and  in  His  own  good 
time  unite  them  in  the  Kew  Jerusalem. 

While  Fritz  was  thus  alone  with  his  thoughts, 
Clara  sat  in  like  manner  beside  the  cradle  of  her 
sinking  child.  She  felt  weak  and  ill ;  life  was 
sad  to  her,  and  heaven  seemed  very  far  off.  Her 
child  was  her  only  comfort,  and  she  could  scarce- 
ly believe  that  God  would  take  it  away  from  her ; 
yet  she  felt  that  she  deserved  nothing  better : 
her  past  sinful  life  lay  heavily  upon  her  mind. 
She  fancied  that  she  had  been  too  wicked  to 
dare  to  hope  for  a  share  of  her  Savior's  love ; 
she  sank  both  inwardly  and  outwardly. 

The  next  morning,  notwithstanding  the  warm 
room,  Mrs.  Krauter  did  not  rise,  she  was  really 
ill.    Her  sister,  Mrs.  Bendler,  sent  a  doctor,  and 


ABOVE  HER  STATION.  225 

he  declared  her  disease  to  be  a  fever.  Clara 
had  now  double  duty  to  do;  for  as  her  Aunt 
Eieka  was  obliged  to  stop  by  Gretta's  sick-bed, 
she  could  not  give  her  any  assistance.  Fritz 
came  now  and  then,  but  he  was  always  silent 
and  serious,  which  Clara  accepted  as  a  well-de- 
served contempt  for  her ;  and  she  had  scarcely 
courage  to  express  her  sense  of  gratitude  for  the 
many  little  acts  of  care  and  attention  she  receiv- 
ed at  his  hand. 

At  the  end  of  three  weeks,  the  doctor  declared 
Mrs.  Krauter  out  of  danger ;  but  the  expression 
of  his  face  on  looking  at  the  baby  conveyed  no 
hope  to  Clara's  heart — ^the  more  she  nursed  and 
cared  for  it,  the  more  dreadful  it  seemed  to  her 
to  be  forced  to  separate  from  it.  One  evening  it 
would  not  take  the  breast,  and  hung  its  little 
head ;  grief  pierced  Clara's  heart  like  a  sword. 
She  did  not  know  what  to  do.  She  ran  to  Aunt 
Rieka's — old  Benjamin  stood  at  the  door — Gret- 
ta  was  most  dangerously  ill — ^her  aunt  could  not 

leave  her  for  a  moment.    Clara  flew  then  to 
15 


226  ABOVE  HER  STATION. 

Agusta  Yogler's.  The  doctor,  when  he  came, 
found  the  baby  very  ill  indeed ;  but  it  was  just 
what  he  had  expected.  Agusta  stopped  the 
night,  made  tea,  heated  flannels  for  the  baby, 
and  listened  to  Clara's  complaints.  The  night 
was  long,  thick  flakes  of  snow  darkened  the  air. 
At  last  the  day  appeared.  Clara  held  the  dying 
child  upon  her  knee  weeping  bitterly  ;  the  door 
opened,  and  Aunt  Rieka  stepped  in. 

"  My  baby  is  dying ! "  cried  Clara,  in  despair. 

"The  Lord  gave,  and  the  Lord  hath  taken 
away  ;  His  name  be  praised  for  ever ! "  said  her 
aunt,  much  moved. 

"1^0,  no!"  exclaimed  Clara;  and  kissed  the 
last  breath  from  the  lips  of  her  child. 

"  Yes,  yes  ! "  said  her  aunt.  "  Clara,  let  us 
pray ;  we  are  both  childless  now," — tears  choked 
her  voice, — "  My  dear  Gretta  is  gone ! " 

Clara  stared  at  her.  "Yes,"  coutinued  her 
aunt;  "let  us  pray  to  our  merciful  Father  in 
heaven  to  give  us  strength  and  comfort  in  our 
hour  of  need !  " 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  227 

"  The  merciful  God ! "  moaned  Clara ;  but  she 
refused  not  to  pray — the  remembrance  of  the 
blessed  hours  she  had  already  passed  at  the  feet 
of  her  Savior  flowed  like  balm  over  her  soul. 
Yes ;  she  could  approach  her  Father's  throne ! 
On  the  first  Sunday  of  Advent,  her  baby  had 
lain  upon  her  knee  just  as  pale  and  weak,  and 
and  yet  she  had  then  felt  as  if  she  could  wholly 
resign  her  to  God.  "  0  Lord,  help  me ! "  she 
cried ;  and  the  Lord  did  help  her.  Yes ;  won- 
derfully, quickly,  immediately !  the  vail  was  re- 
moved from  her  heart,  her  fears  were  passed. 
She  could  pray  with  her  aunt,  and  weep  bitter, 
natural  tears,  though  with  resignation  to  the  will 
of  God  in  her  heart. 

And  these  tears  flowed  frequently,  but  they 
softened  her  sorrow,  and  she  discovered  that  it 
was  good  and  merciful  of  God  to  afflict  her,  and 
thus,  through  much  tribulation,  to  make  her  a 
child  of  heaven. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

CLARA'S  outward  life  was  soon  the  same  as 
before  tlie  last  illness  of  her  child.  She 
again  went  out  to  sew,  because  she  had  regain- 
ed her  health  and  strength,  and  having  nothing 
to  bind  her  to  the  house,  she  would  not  be 
dependent  upon  any  one  for  her  daily  bread. 
Though  her  life  was  outwardly  so  quiet  and 
uniform,  yet  her  heart  was  warm  and  lively :  her 
spirit  ascended  more  and  more  to  heaven,  where 
she  believed  her  baby  was  with  Christ  and  the 
holy  angels,  and  heaven  came  down  in  blessed 
peace  to  her  heart.  She  neither  desired,  nor 
hoped  for  any  thing  better  in  this  life;  and 
when  she  spent  a  quiet  Sabbath  with  her  Aunt 
Rieka,  who  treated  her  with  love  and  confi- 
dence; or  when  Fritz  came  in  of  an  evening 


ABOVE   HER  STATION.  229 

and  read  to  them  from  the  Bible,  or  some  other 
good  book,  and  talked  over  what  they  had  read ; 
or  when  she  met  an  approving  sympathizing 
glance  from  him — she  felt  as  if  she  had  never 
deserved  such  happy  days,  and  prayed  God  to 
preserve  her  in  simple  faith  till  her  life's  end. 

The  summer  passed  over,  and  Sylvester  even- 
ing came  again ;  Fritz,  Clara,  and  Aunt  Rieka 
sat  together;  there  was  neither  jesting  nor 
laughing,  but  all  three  felt  happy  in  the  Lord. 
Fritz  felt  all  his  old  affection  for  Clara  return ; 
and  though  he  did  not  express  his  feelings  in 
words,  he  now  felt  he  could  think  of  Clara,  as  a 
companion,  without  danger  to  his  soul.  The 
Lord  had  put  hindrances  in^his  way  in  order  to 
preserve  him  pure  in  the  faith  of  Jesus,  and 
Clara  had,  through  much  tribulation,  been  re- 
fined from  the  dross  of  this  world.  In  con- 
gratulating her,  and  wishing  the  blessing  of 
God  for  her  in  the  new  year,  the  tone  of  his 
voice  betrayed  the  feelings  of  his  heart.  Oh ! 
what  a  thrill  of  joy  ran  through  her  soul !     She 


230  ABOVE   HER  STATION. 

scarcely  dared  to  look  him  in  the  face.  She  had 
often  prayed  God  to  bless  him,  and  had  only 
desired  for  herself,  that  he  should  not  feel  angry 
with  her  for  her  former  cruel  heartless  conduct 
toward  him. 

Mrs.  Krauter  had  never  fully  recovered  from 
the  severe  attack  of  fever  she  had  had;  and 
after  new-year's  day,  took  to  her  bed,  from 
which  she  never  rose.  An  inflammation  of  the 
lungs  carried  her  speedily  from  this  world  of 
woe. 

Clara  was  now  an  orphan  :  and  yet  not  quite ; 
for  her  aunt  took  her  home  to  her  heart — to  her 
house — and  became  a  true  mother  to  her.  "When 
the  fresh  buds  of  spring  burst  forth,  Clara  sat  in 
Gretta's  little  room  sewing  at  the  open  window, 
with  snow-drops  blooming  beside  her.  Old  Ben- 
jamin had  reared  them  for  her :  yes ;  his  affec- 
tion for  Gretta  had  been  wholly  transferred  to 
Clara,  and  the  latter  had  learned  to  sing  and 
converse  joyfully  with  the  old  man.  And  the 
starling  called  out :  "  Clara,'  so  right !  "  and  she 


ABOVE   HER   STATION.  231 

could  now  sing  with  tlie  buUfincli :  "  Praise  the 
Lord,  O  my  soul ! "  Fritz  labored  diligently  in 
his  workshop — looked  sometimes  out  of  his  win- 
dow— and  his  heart  beat  high  when  he  met 
Clara's  clear  blue  eyes,  so  bright,  so  child-like, 
just  as  it  appeared  to  him  in  his  dreams,  when 
he  was  traveling.  As  spring  advanced,  Fritz 
declared  his  love  for  Clara. 

She  is  now  Mrs.  Fritz  Buchstein,  a  comfort- 
able citizen's  wife :  she  is  proud  and  happy  in 
her  own  rank;  wears  good  strong  stockings, 
with  stout  leather  shoes,  and  a  clean  simple 
dress.  She  is  more  beautiful  than  ever,  the  joy 
and  blessing  of  her  husband  and  family.  Old 
father  Buchstein  sits  in  his  arm-chair  with  his 
youngest  grandchild  upon  his  knee ;  and  Benja- 
min leads  a  fair  little  Gretta  over  to  Aunt 
Rieka ;  while  Clara  sits  sewing  under  the  open 
workshop-window,  and  sings,  with  all  the  power 
of  her  fine  voice  : 

"  Bless  the  Lord,  O  my  soul ! " 


Di 


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